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Mom doesn't care about me anymore
I guess I'll start with some background information first. I'm 21, married, have two kids, working two jobs, and in college full time. I've been away from home and on my own for two years. My sister (I'll call Ann) is 25. She still lives with my parents. She doesn't go to college, and pays no bills.
So, why does my mom now so blatantly prefer Ann over me? I can have plans with my mom for weeks, but if Ann decideds wants mom for something, my plans will be canceled...even if I've put money into tickets or reservations.
I ignored it til today. I really need a new pair of shoes. The ones I'm wearing now are held together with tape, and my feet show through. I've been looking for new shoes for days, but I have funy-shaped feet and I can't find any. My mom promised me (now that I finally have extra money) that she would help me find shoes today. But, oops!, Ann wants ANOTHER purse and NEEDS my mom's opinion. I won't have time off again to find shoes until two weeks from now. Ann is free every morning (and knows I'm not).
Why does my mom always choose her over me?
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By the sound of it you are pretty selfsuffient. You work hard and take care of your business on your own. I dont think that your mother prefers your sister over you I think your mother just thinks your sister is more needy especialy considering shes 25 and doesnt wrk and lives at home. I would confront your mother about canceling plans with you comstantly.
Explain to her that your free time is far and few between. You may fight and be prepared for that but she's your mom and it will pass. But the longer you let it build up the more resentment your going to have, not just for your mom but for your sister.. Trust me I've been there
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This sound all too familiar to me. I'm guessing your mother is the kind of person who is always sorta "love the one your with". however it sounds to me like she is seriously being neglective toward you. I would sit her down and tell her how messed up the situation is. Don't be afraid if she gets mad or angry because remember, you're the one who's right. Hope I helped:)
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you should try telling your mom how you feel and that you feel left out, and tell your sister how you feel to and how it kinda hurts inside
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You should definitely ask your mom why she does that
and tell her how it makes you feel. It would be nice if you could make her understand that you'd like some alone time with her.
If all else fails maybe you could all do things together. You could go to a mall or shopping center that has both purses and shoes. :)
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Your mother probably just chooses your sister over you because she figures, Anna still obviously needs her if she's living at home and need her mother's help with things. But you, you're living away from home, have kids of your own, have your own life and your mother might think you don't need her help at all.
Also, between siblings, there is usually the one sibling that tends to get more attention wether it's the older one or the younger one. Like my brother for example, tends to always get what he wants. He got a Nintendo system for just taking swimming lessons, he wanted drums and my parents said no, but he wound up getting them anyway. Same with a car. I don't know, sometimes with parents they just treat one child a little better because they're their "baby" or their "first born".
I would suggest talking to your mother about this, and ask her why is she always ignoring you? And let her know that you feel hurt and ignored everytime she does it, and feel like Anna's the more important sibling. Your mother may not even really be realizing what she's doing and how she's effecting you, so if you two talk it out, hopefully things can be resolved and changed for the better.
I hope I helped.
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I don't know why, but maybe your mom feels like you have yourself together, but the sister needs her more. Sometimes parents seem to favor the kid that is actually the loser. They try to overcompensate for past guilt of not parenting well enough, or take the kid's personal failings as a sign that they need to help that child more. It is never fair to the other kids, but a shepherd always leaves the flock to search for the lost sheep. Is your sister more needy? It may be about guilt more than preference. Don't ignore it, but don't let it be more powerful than it need be. Your mom should be told how you feel, and you should not put up with coming in second place. Tell your mom that you understand that she feels that your sister is demanding and needy, but that it is not an excuse for her to treat you badly. Remind her that you still need her love and attention, too. If she is not responsive, then I feel for you, but I want you to know that you will be better off not always fighting for the attention or approval of someone that does not deserve your respect and time.
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