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big age gap.
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Hey everyone.
I recently met a really great guy named Collin about a week ago. Ever since we met, we've hung out together 2 times. He seems amazing & we talk on the phone every night. Problem is he's 23 years old & I'm 16. I know, I know - big problem. It sucks. I never thought my parents would ever make such a big deal out of something, especially age - since they started dating when my dad was 21 & my mom was 16.
Everyone in my family thinks it's a HORRIBLE idea. They all tell me it makes them feel sick that he's even wanting to be around people my age. He's in college & he's an all-around great guy that just seems to be interested in me. We're great when we're together & we don't push things on each other. It's just like a relationship where we have mutual feelings.
I have no idea where to go from this point on. Both of my parents said they don't want me to see him anymore. [I never in a million years thought they would EVER tell me I couldn't see someone.] I know if I sit down & talk to them, and try and change their minds, they may. I just have no idea what to say.
My eldest sister, whose 29 years old is super close to my parents, so she's of course giving her opinions on the situation, and they're all bad, like "She shouldn't see him!" & "I don't want to meet him - he's not coming to my wedding!" & all of those negative things.
Please help.
Although I will want to hear all of the reasons why I shouldn't continue a relationship, please give me some ideas to where I could continue it. I don't think I could end it right now, it just seems way too much for me.
Thanks in advance.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
I know you don't want to hear this, but guys his age only want sex. There is something wrong with him if he's wanting to date a 16 year old. He's in college with tons of hot college girls (his age, at that!) and is going with a 16 year old. Honestly, something's wrong there. And I'm not saying you're not pretty or whatever but you are 16. He shouldn't even be interested in the same things you are.
Also, your parents are right about this. I hate to say it. I hate it when my parents are right. But they are.
Oh, and one more thing .. you've only known him for a week. There's no way you are on a "relationship level" yet. He might want you to think that, but it's not there. He might want you to think there's no pressure, but it'll show up soon enough.
I would take a step back. Tell him your parents don't approve, and you'd like to work on a friendship and get to know each other better so you can present a better case to your parents as to why you guys are good together.
Good luck, and remember there are plenty of other fish in the sea.
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First of all you shouldn't be going out with colin because he could be married, have a kid. You also should know that guys that age want sex and if your parents want to be mean and they know you've had sex they can get him for rape. You should find a man your own age, I know your trying to experience new things and all but would you really want to ruin your life and get pregnant. You can not support a baby now days with out a college degree. If you get pregnant he'll probably leave and you seem to young. You don't need a baby to support and work at Mc Donalds for $6.00 and hour. He just wants to tell all his friends he had sex with a younger girl just to be able to fit in with his friends. Know offense men don't like younger girls they like virgins to sleep with. Sorry to say your parents are doing the right thing. Be a teenage pregnant girl most likly you'll never go back to college.
Please think about what i said...
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Hi, I wouldn't say it was a horrible thing myself. You are both young and get on well.
You are old enough now to decide who you want to date and why and your also old enough to think about the consequences of your decisions. Your parents have told you their opinions but the choice is yours. Good reasons for continuing with the relationship are:
1. You like each others qualities
2. You both enjoy each others company
3. You get on really well
4. Your both happy and positive about it
5. You are both getting what you want out of it which is love, friendship and fun and happiness
If you both agree to these 5 things, then why shouldn't you be in the relationship? You are both still young, it's not as though he's 45 and your 17 if you know what I mean. Remember people have opinions negative and positive but it's the decision that counts. Daniel.
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my parents are 11 years apart do a guilt trip because technically they are being hippocrits right?
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i see nothing wrong with the age difference honestly the more older than you he is the more mature he will be and the more he will know how to treat you right.you FIRST off need to speak to your older sister ask her sis, imajine you were in deep love with someone and hes like your prince charming and you love him to death and ppl around you tell you you cant see him how would you feel?wouldnt it hurt?be nice when talking to her and dont get your temper up nomater what she says and have a sad face on.then talk to your parents and tell them that you FINALLY found the guy that youre looking for and now they tell you you cant see him!tell them you like him a lot and they shouldnt prevent you guys from dating and imajine if someone came and told THEM they couldnt see eachother and that hes the only guy youve ever liked so much and stuff like that.good luck
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I do know that when your 16, age difference is a big deal. There's 7 years between the two of you, and that is a big difference in maturity levels like it or not.
I do think that if you want to continue to see this guy, you are right in the idea of talking to your parents about it. Find out their reasons for not wanting you to date this guy, and you can fill them in on your reasons for wanting to. Maybe you can work something out that you can all agree on, even if you can only see him as a friend until you reach such and such of age.
What your sister thinks is important to a degree. I don't think she has any business in trying to make parenting decisions for your folks. Her opinion is hers, but what she thinks shouldn't dictate what your parents and you decide is best for you to do in your life.
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If you like him I think you should DEFIBATELY go for it!!! My thing is that anything could happen, you guys might not work out, or whatever, but it's awful to think back after you and a different guy broke up and have to say, "I wonder if I would still be alone if I would have satyed with him." Then you could resent your family for it. I think it's best that you give it a shot so you won't have to think like that, you know? If ending it seems like too much for you, then don't do it!! Good luck!
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ok well if I was you i would tell your mom and that that when he was 21 and she was 16 so it is really the same thing. Then your going to be like how times were differnt back then and how thinks have change so much so here is what you do. You can come to an agreement with them, like hang out with him when their is other people around like your friends and/or when your parents are around and only when their around. That way you can still hang out with him and they can sleep better at night knowing nothing went on between you and him. hoped I helped.
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I am truly sorry, but I don't think I could give you any reasons of why you should continue that relationship. I can see where you're families concerns would come from. He is to old for you, and I am sorry to say that. At this point in life, he is. If you truly like him, and he truly likes you, tell him to wait a few years. Like, when you're 20 and hes 27... and then the age isnt THAT big of a deal. Thats what I would do. Hope I helped...
~Savanna
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