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Best Friends Boyfriend
My Best friend has had problems with an eating disorder and with cutting for some time now. She is in therapy and recieving treatment for both, however she still sometimes relapses and doesn't eat or cuts. Her boyfriend seems to think it is apropiate to say things to her when she doesnt eat like "If you don't eat tommorrow then I'm not going to either" Or if she ends up cutting he cuts himself. I think that he is making her feel worse when all she really needs is support... What should I do...Opinions? Advice?
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Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
talk to her boyfriend and tell him that if he really loves her and cares for her liek he should if he's her boyfriend, he should not be supporting her habit. she is obviously going to still cut and not eat, so getting her the help she needs is what her boyfriend should do instead of hurting himself too. He is going to end up being depressed too. Also talk to your friend and ask her why she is with her boyfriend if she keeps letting him hurt himself too. if she really loves him, she would try to get better help so he does not hurt himsefl also....
Talk to an adult about your situation so maybe together yall can help your friends....good luck!<3
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I think you should talk to her boyfriend, or have an ADULT talk to her boyfriend, thats horrible, and you're right, he doesnt seem to be making it any better. He's just telling her that if shes going to do something bad to herself, he is too. But its not going to have near as much as an impact on him as it will her, we both know that. Please tell someone whats happening, even though she is getting help, because just reading about what her boyfriend is doing, pisses me off.
blahh, I hope things start to get better for your friend, let me know!
<33
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Opinions.
I think that's really funny.
What a great boyfriend.
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ok well i have actually been through this alot with one a my best friends... by him saying that it is only making her feel worst becasue if makes her think that she is not doing anything right to please anyone so it makes her want to do it even more than she already has... my advice is to be there and convince her its not what she needs to to do to make things better honestly tell her that when she feels like cutting to get a coloring book and color cause it really does help i have spent manyof hours on the phone with my friend convinceing her not to do it matter what and to eat and the things is that no matter what your doing if this person needs to talk stop doing whatever your doing and help cause you would be surpirsed what that can do and how much that will help them but i no it can be hard but keep trying to get her to stop i did it and its posible!! Contact me and let me knoe how things go cause i really like to help ppl with that problem and if you need more advice let me TAHNKS! I hope she can eat and stop cutting
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Talk to your friend to see how she feels about it and/or confront this boyfriend directly. Tell him that what he is doing only makes his girlfriend think cutting and/or not eating is a good solution. I hope everything goes well.
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tell him that she needs support, tell him how she makes her feel, tell him what's happening.
HOPE I HELPED!
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Now why her boyfriend may seem like he trying to help - it is very likely he is the reason why she cuts so much. She cares about him and doesn't want him to hurt himself because of her, which leads to depression. Tell him to cool down on those types of comments. His heart's in the right place but tell him to try and approach it differently. Also, give him other examples on how he could possibly be hurting her more and tell him to try other approaches to it. Try and be more encouraging then persuasive. Uplift her, make her happy, tell her how much she means to you - things that wouldn't make her sad about herself so that she won't relapse into cutting and eating wrongly. Make sure she knows you both are on her side and always there for her. Be supportive. Never leave her side. She needs both of you now more than ever. Show her how you both care for her. I hope that I helped a bit. Let me know how goes and Good luck. Stay strong - both of you. -GC07
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First of all its great that she's in therapy- thats exactly where she needs to stay. I think her boyfriend is trying to help. But he's an idiot. This girl is disturbed, the root of her problem is mental. She could be depressed, bi-polar, obsessive compulsive, etc. Most people who starve or purge themselves feel like they've lost control of their lives, in one or more areas, and by not letting themselves digest food they feel like they at least have control of that. Self-mutilators typically hurt inside and don't know why, so they'll cut as if to say, "This is where it hurts." They don't just cut for the sake of cutting, which is what her boyfriend must think she does. I'm sure you knew all that, so you can see that when her boyfriend says he's not going to eat or he's going to cut himself and does, how stupid that really is. I hope thats what she thinks when he threatens to hurt himself. I hope she goes, "Okay." because this is one of the dumbest things I've ever heard. But from what you've said, she feels bad about it. Does he not realize that he's just adding more drama to the situation? He thinks she loves him soooo much that she'll stop hurting herself so he won't hurt himself. Her disorders are bigger than him and his ego. Please tell him to stop. The best thing he and you can do for her is be there to listen, whenever she needs you, and try to make her laugh more. Keep her mind off her pain. If he doesn't want to stop what he's doing, he may have a problem himself and you might need to let his parents know. You were very right to be concerned about this.
Peace...
Shade
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I would suggest taking her boyfriend to the side and saying I think what your saying isnt helping. He seams like he's trying to help her stop, but I'd tell him it is working in reverse. Maybe suggest to him to talk to her and see why she's so unhappy, reassure her so she won't feel so insecure. Just be there for her when she is feeling down. You can also do the same, if you both are doing this maybe she'll stop. There's nothing much you can do, because she's already receiving help, but just be there for her. I'm sorry bout your friend, and good luck to you and her!
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