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she's a loser so why does she still upset me?
There is this girl in my town who whenever I run into I feel just utter contempt for. The problem is I'm not even really sure why because she's become such a loser.
Well first of all she has a bad reputation in town. She used to be a prostitute and got pregnant two years ago. No one knew who the father was and after she had the baby social services took it away. She also was a drug dealer and got banned from the volunteer centre I used to work at. I think the main thing that upset me was that she dated my first serious bf after we broke up. She would spread rumours about me and would flaunt their relationship in front of me. She also used to be really skinny when I was overweight.
Well since she had the baby she's gained atleast 50 pounds. She's also unemployed and the last time I saw her she was dancing at the bar with her big gut sticking out and being a complete slut.
Everyone (my friends) said she was gross. I have so much more going for me than her; I'm employed and have my act together and I don't sleep around and I'm a LOT prettier than her because I've lost a lot of weight.
So my question is why does it still upset me when I see her? Because she's turned into such a loser? Can anyone give me some advice?
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Get over it move on!
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The past. You are still hooked into the past. Is that it? Because if not.. you have no reason to be upset with her or whatever. I would just sort of brush it out of your mind.
Oh, it could also be that your disgusted by her :)
Sorry. I didnt give as good of advice as you probably expected, but just forget her. Shes obviously not worth it.
<3
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You know, something that comes to mind is there will always be people lessor than, and greater than you. I have a feeling that you both have insecurities..her because she flaunted and spread rumors and you because you are bothering to compare yourself to her. If you really want to rise above all this, you should forgive her for what she has said about you. Even if not outwardly, from within. While you are at it, forgive yourself also. Things will turn around, and you will no longer feel the way you do, you'll see.
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I would have to say that you pity her, and you also still rember what she did to you , i guess it only upsets you when you see her because even after the postion she is in youu still know what she said about you while dating your x boyfriend
Jasmine
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Totally understandable. No matter how much lower then you this girl continues to sink, you always have that little tad of jealously in the back of your mind "remember when she dated my man..."
All girls go through this, I really think it's part of being a girl. It sounds very mean but each time you get to feeling that way just look over this list you made of why you have no reason to be envious.
Please try to get out of any habit you find yourself falling into of gossiping or taking pleasure in her misfortune. Sounds crazy because that's exactly what you want to do, but that's bad karma. Good luck!
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hey, well no one is prettier because there skinner. the reason why is because you used to sorta envy her. because of that, that feeling will always stay with you. cait♥
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It's part of the curse of being a female! while it's wonderful that we are deeper more sensitve of the race, sometimes it's SO difficult! Even though you know it's not worth it (in your mind) you still can't help how you feel inside. And if the thought of her still bugs you - that's ok and normal. Sometimes we're not happy unless we have something to be grouchy about and obviously she hurt your feelings badly, even if she is a loser. Be annoyed and dislike her, but don't sink to her level ever and actually get revenge or do something mean. You are better than her and that's why she was so nasty to you. My sweet bf has an ex-gf that i met(saw) twice and even though she now lives in another country - the thought of her (seriously fat and TACKY) bugs the hell out of me. Avoid the chick and be a bigger better person!
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I get this sometimes too, but I'll try to answer to the best of my abilities.
Basically, the things you use to put yourself over her are superficial. You KNOW that it ultimately doesn't matter who has the prettier face, or who has slept with less people. You know that it doesn't necessarily mean you are a better person than her. All of the things you listed might add up to making her a loser, but I think deep down there's that feeling of knowing that fucking up more times doesn't necessarily make a worse person.
You resent her because she makes you question yourself. Every time you see her you have to reevaluate yourself and reassure yourself that you have better assets than her in life. The boyfriend thing also, of course, factors in. Even if you're over him, that situation was yet another time you had to question yourself and compare yourself to her and hope you weren't on the same level as her just because this guy moved from you to her. It just created bad associations, especially because at that time you were vulnerable due to your insecurities.
Due to those associations, you may never completely stop resenting her. You still associate insecurity with her since she emphasized it at some point. Sometimes as human beings it's in our nature to use other people's shortcomings to make ourselves feel better, so it's only natural that now you would use your improvements and her regression as a measurement of how far you've come. Don't stress out so much over it... getting over all of it will come naturally as you mature and get older.
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