Okay, so here's the story: I left my backpack in my mom's car. She threatened to take it to work the next day (today). She always makes empty threats and never follows through. She bugged me about my backpack, and I told her not to nag me. When people nag me, I tune them out. So I fell asleep and forgot about my backpack. It's with my mom at work, and I can't go to school now becuase I don't have anything and all of my grades would drop for things that I didn't have//couldn't turn in. Do you think it was right for her to take my backpack?
I mean, I know that I should have taken it out of her car. But do you think it was right for her to take it?
She took out half of my other stuff, but she left my backpack.
Every action (including lack of action) naturally draws a consequence, it's our choice if they are good or unpleasant consequences. Hopefully you can accept that you have a choice in how it turns out for you. Good luck :-) [ msb9876's advice column | Ask msb9876 A Question ]
orphans answered Friday April 21 2006, 11:17 pm: Even though it sucks.. she did warn you. You didn't listen. Therefore, she followed through on her threat and took your backpack to work. She was obviously trying to teach you a lesson, and appaerently it worked.
Nallie answered Thursday April 20 2006, 8:17 pm: Actually you made the choices, not your Mom. It was in your control, but when you didn't listen you handed over the control to her. If one days worth of papers affects your grades that much I am wondering how well you are doing in school anyway. I am pretty sure you still could have gone to school and explained what happened to your teachers. Now you will be late on two days worth of assignments and not one. I am glad that you realize what you should have done, that's great! Your Mom's tough love tactic worked like it was supposed to.
Additional note RE:feedback
No the first two sentences are not contradictory. You had a choice to leave the backpack or take it. You left it and your Mom made the choice to take it, you allowed her to do so.
If the previous days worth of assignments were in the back pack, and then you didn't go to school the next day. That's falling behind in two days of schoolwork right?
Tough love: Your Mom allowed you to suffer the consequences of your own actions, (not taking the backpack from the car) She didn't come to the rescue like you wanted her too. I commend your Mother, bet she would have given a higher rating than you!
DangerWench answered Thursday April 20 2006, 5:44 pm: ...
She was absolutely right to take it. She did warn you.
You actually gave her no choice but to take it because you said yourself "When people nag me, I tune them out."
I'm sure she knows this, and knows that you obviously haven't taken her seriously because "She always makes empty threats and never follows through"... Which, to me, says that she isn't strict enough... she doesn't want to punish you, even when you need correction. (and I'm sure she thinks she's being *nice*, but that route obviously doesn't work, does it?)
If she was more strict and followed through on consequences, you wouldn't have ignored her, and you'd have your backpack right now. So in that way, it *is* her fault. She needs to start making sure that undesirable actions always have negative consequences, and not wimp out on you. She's not helping you when she does that... She's actually hurting you by teaching you habits that will hurt you in the long run (like tuning people out when they say things you don't like).
So, knowing all this, how could she make sure to finally get your attention so that you didn't "tune her out" next time?
klc23 answered Thursday April 20 2006, 5:40 pm: She said she was going to take it with her if you didn't get it out of her car.. You should have listened... she did have a right to take it .. hope I helped
Mr_Skittles answered Thursday April 20 2006, 5:04 pm: While it is most certainly uncool that she took your backpack, you are at a wrong here. Afterall, she did tell you she was going to do that.
If you had taken it like she said, you wouldn't have this problem.
karenR answered Thursday April 20 2006, 3:14 pm: I probably would have just thrown it out in the driveway before I went to work myself. :)
But, she said she would take it to work and she did. Can't say she didn't warn you!
So, yes she was right to take it. Not a good idea to tune out moms because they do occasionally follow through on threats. [ karenR's advice column | Ask karenR A Question ]
sizzlinmandolin answered Thursday April 20 2006, 11:50 am: Yes, she was right to take it. She said she would and she followed through with her threat. If she hadn't done it, it would have been like breaking a promise.
What wasn't right, was to make the threat in the first place. She probably blurted it out in anger or frustration without thinking it through first. She should control herself better than that. I'm sure she didn't want to take it, she felt bad doing it, and probably regretted her threat. Maybe she even forgot about it. No matter how much you may wonder, she does have a heart.
The mistake of making the threat isn't that big of a deal. She's only human and all of us do it. BUT she still could have woken you up in the morning to give you one last chance. This shows that she's a little too stubborn and has a hard time accepting that she was wrong. This is especially true if she doesn't apologize to you when she gets home. Make sure you give her a chance to apologize though. Don't just run outside and start yelling at her even though that's probably what you want to do. I think a little "be good to your enemies" kind of thing would be best for this situation. Act like nothing happened and she'll get so guilty. You'll throw her off because that's not what she will expect. She'll be ready to burst waiting for you to say something. It should be quite entertaining and there's a better chance that you'll get a good apology.
All in all, yeah she did do a few things wrong, but her acts, as cruel as they may have seemed, are justified. Pretty much all you can do about it is, in the future, think the situation through and know that when she says she's going to do something, no matter how silly or cruel it is, she's going to do it. You may have to get over, or be better about your problem with nagging in order to deal with her better. My mom does this ALL the time too, so you're not alone. Good luck! [ sizzlinmandolin's advice column | Ask sizzlinmandolin A Question ]
BRUNETTE__BABiE__CAKESZ answered Thursday April 20 2006, 11:03 am: hey, i think it was the right thing for her to do. not taking in your backpack is prob. one of your habits that you do alot. even if it isnt she told you that she was going to take it to work. shes trying to teach you a lesson. you have to take the responiblity of taking in your backpack after school. cait♥ [ BRUNETTE__BABiE__CAKESZ's advice column | Ask BRUNETTE__BABiE__CAKESZ A Question ]
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