Free AdviceGet Free Advice
Home | Get advice | Give advice | Topics | Columnists | - !START HERE! -
Make Suggestions | Sitemap

Get Advice


Search Questions

Ask A Question

Browse Advice Columnists

Search Advice Columnists

Chat Room

Give Advice

View Questions
Search Questions
Advice Topics

Login

Username:
Password:
Remember me
Register for free!
Lost Password?

Want to give Advice?

Sign Up Now
(It's FREE!)

Miscellaneous

Shirts and Stuff
Page Backgrounds
Make Suggestions
Site News
Link To Us
About Us
Terms of Service
Help/FAQ
Sitemap
Contact Us


My mother.


Question Posted Thursday April 20 2006, 10:56 am

Okay, so here's the story: I left my backpack in my mom's car. She threatened to take it to work the next day (today). She always makes empty threats and never follows through. She bugged me about my backpack, and I told her not to nag me. When people nag me, I tune them out. So I fell asleep and forgot about my backpack. It's with my mom at work, and I can't go to school now becuase I don't have anything and all of my grades would drop for things that I didn't have//couldn't turn in. Do you think it was right for her to take my backpack?

I mean, I know that I should have taken it out of her car. But do you think it was right for her to take it?

She took out half of my other stuff, but she left my backpack.

And it sucks.

Opinions?


[ Answer this question ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?


msb9876 answered Saturday April 22 2006, 5:38 am:
You say she "always makes empty threats" but apparently it's not always; which show's your mum is trying. Just try to realise your mum is showing she loves you by not rescuing you.

Every action (including lack of action) naturally draws a consequence, it's our choice if they are good or unpleasant consequences. Hopefully you can accept that you have a choice in how it turns out for you. Good luck :-)

[ msb9876's advice column | Ask msb9876 A Question
]




orphans answered Friday April 21 2006, 11:17 pm:
Even though it sucks.. she did warn you. You didn't listen. Therefore, she followed through on her threat and took your backpack to work. She was obviously trying to teach you a lesson, and appaerently it worked.

Sorry about your backpack though.

[ orphans's advice column | Ask orphans A Question
]



Nallie answered Thursday April 20 2006, 8:17 pm:
Actually you made the choices, not your Mom. It was in your control, but when you didn't listen you handed over the control to her. If one days worth of papers affects your grades that much I am wondering how well you are doing in school anyway. I am pretty sure you still could have gone to school and explained what happened to your teachers. Now you will be late on two days worth of assignments and not one. I am glad that you realize what you should have done, that's great! Your Mom's tough love tactic worked like it was supposed to.

Additional note RE:feedback
No the first two sentences are not contradictory. You had a choice to leave the backpack or take it. You left it and your Mom made the choice to take it, you allowed her to do so.

If the previous days worth of assignments were in the back pack, and then you didn't go to school the next day. That's falling behind in two days of schoolwork right?

Tough love: Your Mom allowed you to suffer the consequences of your own actions, (not taking the backpack from the car) She didn't come to the rescue like you wanted her too. I commend your Mother, bet she would have given a higher rating than you!

If you don't want answers, don't ask. We weren't put on this earth to make you happy!

[ Nallie's advice column | Ask Nallie A Question
]



DangerWench answered Thursday April 20 2006, 5:44 pm:
...

She was absolutely right to take it. She did warn you.

You actually gave her no choice but to take it because you said yourself "When people nag me, I tune them out."

I'm sure she knows this, and knows that you obviously haven't taken her seriously because "She always makes empty threats and never follows through"... Which, to me, says that she isn't strict enough... she doesn't want to punish you, even when you need correction. (and I'm sure she thinks she's being *nice*, but that route obviously doesn't work, does it?)

If she was more strict and followed through on consequences, you wouldn't have ignored her, and you'd have your backpack right now. So in that way, it *is* her fault. She needs to start making sure that undesirable actions always have negative consequences, and not wimp out on you. She's not helping you when she does that... She's actually hurting you by teaching you habits that will hurt you in the long run (like tuning people out when they say things you don't like).

So, knowing all this, how could she make sure to finally get your attention so that you didn't "tune her out" next time?

It definitely got your attention, right? ;-)

[ DangerWench's advice column | Ask DangerWench A Question
]



klc23 answered Thursday April 20 2006, 5:40 pm:
She said she was going to take it with her if you didn't get it out of her car.. You should have listened... she did have a right to take it .. hope I helped

♥
klc23

[ klc23's advice column | Ask klc23 A Question
]



Mr_Skittles answered Thursday April 20 2006, 5:04 pm:
While it is most certainly uncool that she took your backpack, you are at a wrong here. Afterall, she did tell you she was going to do that.

If you had taken it like she said, you wouldn't have this problem.

The fact she did it though seems somewhat immature.

[ Mr_Skittles's advice column | Ask Mr_Skittles A Question
]



karenR answered Thursday April 20 2006, 3:14 pm:
I probably would have just thrown it out in the driveway before I went to work myself. :)

But, she said she would take it to work and she did. Can't say she didn't warn you!

So, yes she was right to take it. Not a good idea to tune out moms because they do occasionally follow through on threats.

[ karenR's advice column | Ask karenR A Question
]



sizzlinmandolin answered Thursday April 20 2006, 11:50 am:
Yes, she was right to take it. She said she would and she followed through with her threat. If she hadn't done it, it would have been like breaking a promise.

What wasn't right, was to make the threat in the first place. She probably blurted it out in anger or frustration without thinking it through first. She should control herself better than that. I'm sure she didn't want to take it, she felt bad doing it, and probably regretted her threat. Maybe she even forgot about it. No matter how much you may wonder, she does have a heart.

The mistake of making the threat isn't that big of a deal. She's only human and all of us do it. BUT she still could have woken you up in the morning to give you one last chance. This shows that she's a little too stubborn and has a hard time accepting that she was wrong. This is especially true if she doesn't apologize to you when she gets home. Make sure you give her a chance to apologize though. Don't just run outside and start yelling at her even though that's probably what you want to do. I think a little "be good to your enemies" kind of thing would be best for this situation. Act like nothing happened and she'll get so guilty. You'll throw her off because that's not what she will expect. She'll be ready to burst waiting for you to say something. It should be quite entertaining and there's a better chance that you'll get a good apology.

All in all, yeah she did do a few things wrong, but her acts, as cruel as they may have seemed, are justified. Pretty much all you can do about it is, in the future, think the situation through and know that when she says she's going to do something, no matter how silly or cruel it is, she's going to do it. You may have to get over, or be better about your problem with nagging in order to deal with her better. My mom does this ALL the time too, so you're not alone. Good luck!

[ sizzlinmandolin's advice column | Ask sizzlinmandolin A Question
]



BRUNETTE__BABiE__CAKESZ answered Thursday April 20 2006, 11:03 am:
hey, i think it was the right thing for her to do. not taking in your backpack is prob. one of your habits that you do alot. even if it isnt she told you that she was going to take it to work. shes trying to teach you a lesson. you have to take the responiblity of taking in your backpack after school. cait♥

[ BRUNETTE__BABiE__CAKESZ's advice column | Ask BRUNETTE__BABiE__CAKESZ A Question
]

More Questions:

<<< Previous Question: blocked call?
Next Question >>> Did i cross a line?

Recent popular questions:
Want to give advice?

Click here to start your own advice column!

What happened here with my gamer friends?

All content on this page posted by members of advicenators.com is the responsibility those individual members. Other content © 2003-2014 advicenators.com. We do not promise accuracy, completeness, or usefulness of any advice and are not responsible for content.

Attention: NOTHING on this site may be reproduced in any fashion whatsoever without explicit consent (in writing) of the owner of said material, unless otherwise stated on the page where the content originated. Search engines are free to index and cache our content.
Users who post their account names or personal information in their questions have no expectation of privacy beyond that point for anything they disclose. Questions are otherwise considered anonymous to the general public.

[Valid RSS] eXTReMe Tracker