|
Wanted Accident
Ok guys...well you see...I think I might be pregnant....I haven't had my period since like Feb. so I'm pretty sure I am..but my problem is..that I'm 15 and my boyfriend is 19, and I really actually want this baby, because ya know if I was able to lay down and have unprotected sex..then I am able to take care of my baby...but, I'm just afraid that my mom is going to freak out and call the cops on my boyfriend and he is going to get thrown in jail because of the age difference. I'm so confused and I don't want an abortion and my boyfriend (whom I love) to be in jail...so, if any one has any advice..it is GREATLY appreciated!!!!
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Sexual Health and Reproduction category?
Maybe give some free advice about: General Sex Questions?
well ask yuor mom if you can go and see a family member that you are really close to tell them and see what they can do or you could say when your stomache starts showing that you're class is going to like greese or something then ask a freind if you can stay at their house or tell your boyfriend that he will get put in jail if he calls you and hangs around with you o know this is not prob. the best advice in the world but hey at least you did not get raped then get pregnate. cause thats what happend to me and i am 4 weeks pregnate but anyways goodluck!!
i hope this advice helps
]
Well first I would like to say I can relate, being that I am 13 and my boyfriend is 20. You're age difference is not illegal. Well, in NC it would only be illegal if you were say 12 or 13.
First of, you're mom could not get him thrown in jail. Because you were willing to have sex with him, therefore it is not "Statatory (sp) Rape"
Second, you and your mom should be proud that you are willing to take care of the baby. Because most people would just get an abortion and bam, have sex, get pregnant again, another abortion, ect.
Third, before you talk to your boyfriend or your mom, it would be a good idea to buy a pregnacy test. You can get them at the Dollar Tree or Dollar General, and they work just as good as one from CVS. If its positive, talk to your boyfriend, then you and your boyfriend should talk to your mom.
I have had the same experience. At the time it was a couple months after my 13th birthday. I actually was pregnant, but I lost the baby 4 months into the pregnacy. My only advice to you is to buy a pregnacy test and if its positive, sit your mom down and talk to her about it. I'm sure if you tell her you will take full responsibility (sp) that she will take it just fine, and not flip out.
Hope I helped!
<3.ashley.
]
Hello,
First of all I want to tell you that your comment below is not true at all. Many young teens have sex, and very few can care for a baby.
"because ya know if I was able to lay down and have unprotected sex..then I am able to take care of my baby.."
The prolife stance is "You shouldn't be having sex if you are not responsible enough to take care of a baby" (But it is often worded like you described)
Anyway, if you honestly believe you are pregnant, you are already lagging behind in the responsibility aspect. Early prenantal care is essential, and apparently you have not taken care of that yet. The lack of prenatal care combined with your age makes your pregnancy high risk. Which means there is a high potential for complications.
Okay, since I am not meaning to lecture..I will move on to the advice. I am wondering, how does your boyfriend feel about having a baby? If he is willing to share the responsibility of a baby 50/50 then I think the two of you need a plan before you tell your Mom.
You will need to work out a budget first of all and plan how the two of you are going to earn enough money to survive on and support an infant.
Talk to a counselor at an organization such as "birthright" who should be able to help you.
When you approach your Mom if you have a viable plan for your future and the future of your child it might make things a little easier. I would suggest that your b/f is with you when you tell her. Why yes of course, your Mom may "freak out" but eventually as the initial shock wears off hopefully she will want to help you. Be prepared for most any reaction.
As other posters mentioned, research the law in your state that way you can be prepared in that aspect too. Remind your Mom that he cannot support the baby if he is in jail...if he has a job and you two have a plan hopefully she will realize that.
]
it's responsible of you to keep your baby & decide that .. i would say talk to your boyfriend for support & then talk to your mom. sit her down and be very calm. explain your feelings & tell her that you know she thinks you made a big mistake, but that you are willing to take care of the baby and you love your boyfriend. while 15 is really young for a baby, if you feel like you can take care of it that is your decision. problem is you are still under your parents rule. so, just explain to her the situation & how you feel & everything, be respectful and calm, and hope for the best. goodluck!
]
Anyone can have sex.... it's takes far more than that to be able to take care of a baby.
If you're on-line you need to seek some information about the laws of your state. It might not be your parents but anyone can inform the law and he will be charged with statutory rape, whether you consented or not. If he is found guilty and more than likely will be if you are pregnant, he will serve jail or prison time and be a registered sex offender for the rest of his life. And this is true even if he marries you and you're together for the next 100 years.
]
In this case it's very important to know which state you're in, assuming that you're in the USA.
In some states, the state attorney general zealously investigates ANY pregnancy involving a minor, and prosecutes the male to the full extent of the law. There have been several major news stories about this topic lately.
In some states your boyfriend may be able to avoid prosecution by marrying you. But your parents would have to consent.
"if I was able to lay down and have unprotected sex..then I am able to take care of my baby..."
I'm sorry, but that's not true. You MIGHT be able to take care of your baby, of course; I don't know you, and I don't know your capabilities. But just being able to have sex and get pregnant doesn't in itself mean that you're mentally or emotionally ready to be a parent.
I worked for a while in several DSS (Department of Social Services) offices, and I can tell you this: there were a LOT of young parents who ended up having their children taken away, because they were totally unfit parents.
Not to be too cruel, but honestly, unless you're one in a million, at 15 you're still a child yourself. That's a simple, physical fact; your body and brain are nowhere NEAR finished maturing. The brain doesn't reach full physical maturity until your early or mid-20s. In other words, parts of your brain are STILL DEVELOPING, and will be for YEARS.
Having said that, you need to find out what the laws are in your state. Google "statutory rape" and your state name, for a start. Talk to your parents; yes, they're going to be upset, but they'll get over it eventually. And right now they're your best source for help.
Good luck!
]
This is a tricky situation, but if you are pregnant than your number one priority needs to be your child. This means that you need to be getting medical information and support as quickly as possible - pre-natal care is a hugely important to make sure the pregnancy is developing in a healthy way. A doctor will also be able to support you with info about foods, medication, etc.
Of course, you need to take a pregnancy test to make sure you are pregnant. If you are, you'll need to tell your mother - it'll become obvious as soon as you start to show, anyway, and you'll need medical attention before then. Hopefully her priority will be HER child, and she'll be able to offer you support without blaming your boyfriend.
She probably will freak out at first, as this is big news. Regardless of her reaction, you will need to stand up for yourself and your child. A counsellor can help you further explore your reasons for wanting to keep the baby as well as helping you prepare for being a mother. A professional can also give you more info about abortion and adoption should you decide this is best for you.
In the meantime, you'll also want to be tested for sexually transmitted diseases. If you've had unprotected sex, there's a chance you could have contracted something - and it may or may not have an affect on your baby.
While you obviously need to focus on yourself, if you choose to keep a baby you can make decisions based on what is best for that child. That will take courage, but it is worth it.
Best of luck.
]
Go take a pregnancy test! You can go to your local health department and get checked out free of charge and your parent(s) never have to know. They do this for everyone under the age of 18. You might be stressin for no reason, you see what I'm sayin... Anyway Let's say you are prego Do you think your mom would make you have an abortion? If you think she would then wait till your 4 months to drop the bombshell, at that stage in your pregnancy you cant have an abortion. Im telling you all this from my own experience at 17. (My mom found out when I was 2 weeks from being 4 months and made me have a abotion, which is something I still have trouble at almost 24 coping with) next thing is your older boyfriend, there is nothing that is going to change the fact that he is a adult sleeping with a minor. Just because you willingly had sex with him, it does not matter in the court's eyes. Do you think you mom would press charges on him if she found out you were pregnant? Should you be pregnant, it's just something that you and him are going to have to deal with. I know that hurts to say, but its the truth. If you take the test and you find out that you are NOT pregnant, Go get on Birth Control! At 15 you are in no way ready to raise a baby. Sure they seem so innocent and sweet and you love em' to death when there are giggly and smilin' but what about gettin up at 1:00am for feedings, 3:00am for diaper changes, and everything else. They take alot of money and time and that would mean quitting school so you have the time and getting a full time job so you would have the money to raise the child. This leaves you a un-educated 15 year old girl with a baby. I dont mean to sound so harsh or mean in any way, I'm just simply pointing out the facts.
]
Just a warning, it's not illegal because of the age difference, it's illegal because it's considered statutory rape. There would likely be trouble.
Also consider, are you emotionally ready to have a baby? It's a much bigger thing than you might think. Is it going to be a good environment to raise a child in?
You say you're able to take care of your baby, but are you financially self-sufficient? Can you support the baby, instead of your parents having to?
These are all things to keep in mind, good luck though!
]
hey! well the best thing you can do is first get tested and see if you are actually pregnant... because let's face it, at 15, periods can be irregular (especially if you started yours recently within a year or 2)! Get a home pregnancy test and see what it says... they are around 15 bucks or so, but you need to KNOW!! If you are not pregnant, then that's good. But if it turns out that you are, then you have to sit your mom down and talk to her! If you intend on having the baby, then she will obviously know about it... and I believe you can't get an abortion in most states without your parents' agreement until you are 18 (i am pretty sure about this). So basically, no matter what, if you are pregnant your mom will find out! That is why it's important to sit down with her and talk it over calmly... because if you hide it from her, and she has to find out suddenly, then she will flip out even more. Sit down with her one day when she is in a good mood and say something like "mom, i have to talk to you about something imporant, but i want you to promise me not to get mad and do anything in the spur of the moment, because things are already hard and i don't want them to get harder." Basically get her ready for the news, before you tell her. Chances are she will get mad and yell, but don't fight with her... just let her get it all out, and then you can continue to talk. If she threatens to get your bf in jail, explain to her that this was not all his fault, and you are just as guilty as he is, etc!
But make sure to get a test and only have this talk with your mom if you ARE pregnant. Otherwise, if you talk to her about it and it turns out that you are not pregnant, you might get her mad over nothing, and get your bf into trouble as well. And in the future, make sure to have protected sex!! condoms, birth control pills, shots, patches, etc... you get the point! there are too many effective methods, so why risk getting pregnant at such a young age!? hope that helps, and good luck!
]
More Questions: |