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Girlfiend Messed Around
my name is mark im 19 and im a male ... im dating a girl we dated for 2 years on and off we broke up over this past summer and over the summer she did stuff thats bothering me now in our relationship she had sex w. a total of 3 guys multiable times and messed around w/ 3 other guys she told me everything b4 we got back together and it botheres me alot i dont know whwat to do i talked to her about it and shes there for me and all but i dont know what to do i need some advice the only reason im w/ her is because i really love her anyother girl i would tell leave me alone but i need something that will help over that break up i only messed around w/ 2 girls but we didnt have sex or ne thing like that i dont know what to do help me out please
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ok if you love her like you say you do you will stay with her the only reason she did it is cause she was on the rebound if she had meant it she would have stayed with one of those guys and wouldnt have come back to you what your feeling now is perfectly normal you both went after other people have you ever asked her about how she feels about you being with 2 other girls even if you didnt sleep with them your just a little jealous it will pass though just stick with it if she cheats on you though thats a different story and you have to think she cares because at least she was honest with you
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You can't do anything, really. There's no magic wand for you to wave to make it all disappear. Try to remember that she wasn't doing it to hurt you, & you weren't together so she wasn't doing anything wrong. I have high hopes for your relationship-- she respected you enough to lay it all out on the table before you two got back together as opposed to hiding it, & despite being uncomfortable with it, you're sticking around because you love her.
Try not to let it bother you. You can't do anything about the past, so focus on the present & the future. Love can get you through anything as long as you're willing to help it along. If you're going to be together, you have to be willing to check any feelings of resentment at the door. Before you continue on with your relationship & patching things up between the two of you, make a promise to the both of you that you're going to leave the past in the past. When you're fighting, you're not allowed to hold it over her head that she did more than you did. It's not fair to either of you to continue this relationship if you can't make that promise. Best of luck to the both of you!
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Look, you guys were broken up.
Its not like she cheated, beacause YOU WERENT TOGETHER.
so its no biggie.
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well it was the summer time and you two were broken up anyways.shse messed around and you did to but not as bad as sh edid i can tell.i know that is bothering you but you just ned to let it go.if you love her like you say you will forgive an dforget.she isn't schaeting on you know,is she?well i would talk woth er and tell he rhow i feel. in my perspective i fell that the relationship you guys have is really not that good.you guys break up an dthen get back toghether.you both mess around.i don't think that kin dof relationship is healthy.i know you love her but i don't think therlationship is right.you both seem to be pretty young and i am sure you both have good futures ahead of yo both.there will be others but i think you both should talk.you both really need to and seriously think about what i ad the rest of the people on this site are saying to you.
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Dear mark,
If it is really bugging you there is two things you can do one ask yourself if you really really love this girl and can go on knowing this. Or two you can tell her that this is really bothering you and that you don't know if you can still be together with her after knowing this. Another thing you could do is the two of you sit down and try and work this out try and find a way the two of you can feel comfortable around one another. I hoped I helped. ~MESACHICK51~
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You had broken up. She was a free agent. So were you.
You could have had sex with a lot of girls during that time, but you didn't. But that's not her fault.
She did have sex, and it's natural for that to bother you. But after that, she decided that she wanted to be with YOU. I think that means something.
What it comes down to is this: she didn't cheat on you. You love her. She loves you. Everything else is in the past.
You can let the past ruin your future with her, or not. It's up to you.
If you find that you just can't stop thinking about it, then you're going to have to decide: would you be better off without her? Would it be worth it for you to talk to somebody, a therapist perhaps, to work out your feelings? Perhaps a couples therapist would be helpful, if only for a few sessions.
That might feel weird, or scary, but it sounds as if your relationship with her is good enough to make it worth doing.
I'd also suggest keeping yourself busy, both when you're alone and when you're with her. Pack your time with her with new, good memories. Avoid sitting around and obsessing over what she did. If you notice your mind getting into those patterns, get up, get busy, and DO something - anything. That's the best way to break a morbid train of thought.
Good luck!
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Well first of all did you tell this girl that your with about the 2 girls that you were with. Maybe that will help you out. Plus if you guys were broken up over the summer then it shouldn't hurt that bad. Because you messed around on her. This is just a bump in the road and if you both are talking about it then you'll be able to get over it but it will take a while.
good luck
am
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Stuff like this happens. You've been together for almost two years. A break up is going to be hard. But people move on in the long run.
I wouldn't get back into a relationship just yet. gie your self time to get over her.
Think about it. This girl messed around with three guys while she was with you! If she is doing this, the relationship would never have worked out anyway.
Just remember that there is always going to be someone out there for you. This was just a bump in the road.
Good Luck.
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