|
I lost a friend (or 3) because of a guy.
I have this friend, who told me that she thought she might like this guy, and added him to her 'list' of guys. There were maybe 3 guys that were on her list of people she could potentially like. I knew all of them, and found out that one of the guys was in my homeroom and one of my classes. I was supportive of my friend's feelings for all the guys on her list, and kept away from them, but I found myself sort of attracted to this one guy. I started to like him, and my friend found out. I felt (and still feel) horrible, and apologized in person, over aim, over the phone and i wrote a really long letter, but she ignored me every time. She also brought a bunch of my other friends into it and they took her side, and pretty much stopped talking to me. they were my four best friends, and now they hardly even look my way. i don't know what else to do, so i've sort of just...given up. but i couldn't help it, i felt terrible, and tried really hard to make it up to her...is it so much my fault that i deserve to lose those friends?
by the way: i'm a freshman in high school, girl, 15.
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
It's not your fault. So you started liking one guy that was on her crush list. You need to confronter her about all the apologies you gave RIGHT IN FRONT OF her other friends, so they know you've tried to set things straight.
She most likely distorted the facts about what happened. You didn't even do anything wrong. Make sure your other friends know the facts b/c they might be mad at you for the wrong reasons.
]
Ok well if she has a 'list' then she shouldn't be mad at you. She has a few guys she likes and you only have 1. Its ok for you to like someone and she doesn't need to get mad at you for that. No being mean but that is a very selfish thing for her to do.
]
I think your friend is out of line here. You can't help who you like and it's ridiculous to expect that you should. It's common for friends to share an interest in the same type of guy. My friend and I often crushed on the same guy in high school, but it never caused a fight between us. I can't see what she's mad about. From what you've said, even though you liked the guy, you didn't do anything more than that. She should respect the fact that even though you had feelings for the guy, you put them aside so as not to hurt her feelings.
]
It's not your fault at all. She is overreacting. People are attracted to other people. This can be confusing, especially when you're a teenager. You may be attracted to fifteen people at once, and then the next day not care about any of them. We can't help who we're attracted to. Furthermore, she had NO claim on this guy. So she thought she "might" like him, does she even know him that well? For all she knows, he may have a girlfriend in another school. People aren't property, and you did nothing wrong. Stop apologizing to her. It's going to be hard, but you just need to give up on her for now. Hang out with some other people. When you run to her begging forgiveness, that tells her that you're weak. Ignoring her will show that you have confidence. It may completely blow over, and she may want to be friends with you again. If that happens, it is your choice whether or not you want to accept her. I personally wouldn't. If these were my best friends, I would really not want to deal with my worst enemies. You desreve much better than that.
]
Your friend is being really childish! I mean she has 3 guys on a "list" that she just might like.... You have the right to like anyone you like, even if you like one of the guys she likes.... If she is a true friend she wouldn't make such a big deal about it, I mean she still has 2 other guys that she can crush on... Try one last time, maybe you can win her over by setting up a date with one of the other 2 guys she likes as a surprise (get one of the guys to ask her to go to the movies with them) If she really starts to like just one guy she might forgive you :o)
If she's still mad at you after all your effort, Try to make new friends because then she isn't really a good friend, because this is really a stupid reason to be mad at you!
]
I think this is a really dumb thing for your friend to be upset about. It's not like she liked one guy and you went after him, there were three. Did she really think she was going to have three boyfriends? What if none of them were interested in her? Nobody owns anyone else, and you can't help who you like and don't like. You probably should've told her upfront that you liked the guy and if he liked you, then that would be even more of a reason to tell. But there were still two other guys on the list. I think that this is just silly, and she should get over herself. If she is willing to break up a friendship over something so petty, maybe she wasn't that good a friend in the first place. What's done is done. Move on and find some new and more mature friends. Just so you know, friends are more important than boyfriends. Keep that in mind.
]
More Questions: |