I'm a honest and considerate person. I've been told I have good values and common sense. I like to help people and will do my best to give you advice without being rude or insulting. If I think you need professional help, I will say so. I think I would be best with the following categories:1.) Marriage and Relationships 2.)Parenting 3.) General advice about life
Gender: Female
Location: Gardena, California
Occupation: Homemaker (at the moment) mother
Age: 36
AIM: To help anyone with a problem
Member Since: February 21, 2004
Answers: 44
Last Update: January 26, 2006
Visitors: 4236
Main Categories:
Love Life
Friendship
Parenting
View All
|
| |
I have this friend, who told me that she thought she might like this guy, and added him to her 'list' of guys. There were maybe 3 guys that were on her list of people she could potentially like. I knew all of them, and found out that one of the guys was in my homeroom and one of my classes. I was supportive of my friend's feelings for all the guys on her list, and kept away from them, but I found myself sort of attracted to this one guy. I started to like him, and my friend found out. I felt (and still feel) horrible, and apologized in person, over aim, over the phone and i wrote a really long letter, but she ignored me every time. She also brought a bunch of my other friends into it and they took her side, and pretty much stopped talking to me. they were my four best friends, and now they hardly even look my way. i don't know what else to do, so i've sort of just...given up. but i couldn't help it, i felt terrible, and tried really hard to make it up to her...is it so much my fault that i deserve to lose those friends?
by the way: i'm a freshman in high school, girl, 15. (link)
| |
I think this is a really dumb thing for your friend to be upset about. It's not like she liked one guy and you went after him, there were three. Did she really think she was going to have three boyfriends? What if none of them were interested in her? Nobody owns anyone else, and you can't help who you like and don't like. You probably should've told her upfront that you liked the guy and if he liked you, then that would be even more of a reason to tell. But there were still two other guys on the list. I think that this is just silly, and she should get over herself. If she is willing to break up a friendship over something so petty, maybe she wasn't that good a friend in the first place. What's done is done. Move on and find some new and more mature friends. Just so you know, friends are more important than boyfriends. Keep that in mind.
|
|
Theres this guy. and hes my close friend and he tells me he likes me and thinks about me alot and loves my eyes.Then he goes out with my friend. But he apologized to me 7347 times and said hes goin out with her for the wrong reasons and that when we were with her the one time that all he could think was me and how he hurt me. And he still tells me he wants to be with me and that he likes me a lot and even told some of his friends he might break up with my "friend" n get with me. But then today on my advice page he asked me a question about her n how he still likes her n how he heard shes gonna break up with him n he doesnt want to ruin the relationship by doin it first if its not true. It hurt to read that and i dont want to ber mad at him because its not in my nature.idk if i should wait for him or should i jus move on?? please help when i ask him about it he says " ur paranoid i like u" (link)
| |
This guy sounds like he has a lot of growing up to do and doesn't know what he wants. You shouldn't waste your time with him. Did he know that was your advice column? How do you know for sure it was him? What advice did you give him? I would say stop messing with girls heads and figure out what you want, or don't date anyone until you grow up a little. That's my advice for him if you haven't already responded to him. You can quote me. I don't mind. If he wants to know if she wants to break up with him, he should ask her himself. If she's smart, she will. And you should stick to being friends or move on, if he keeps pushing for more. You can do better with someone who's honest, and knows what he wants.
|
|
probably more than a month ago, my mom found out shes anemic(sp?) in other words, shes low in iron...then today my oldest sister found out she is somewhat canceris..(she may have a tumour down there, and is scheduled to have surgery next week, then be on Keimotherapy(sp?) nd if those dont work she will only have 1 year to live!)...then there is more drama in my family between my crack head sister. then of course i have my own problems going on @ skool, with my work and all...and most of all my boyfriend is giving me trouble!...i juss need sum advice please! (link)
| |
You are going through a lot, and I feel for you. First of all, being anemic isn't that serious. Just make sure your mom gets lots of iron. As for your sister, pray for her and be supportive.Think positive, and find someone to talk to about all your worries that you can trust. Maybe a school counselor or a minister. I hope your other sister is getting help for her drug addiction. If your boyfriend is not being supportive in your time of need, get rid of him. You don't need the added stress. Do you really need that job? If you are in high school, and it's interfering with your school work, you should quit. It sounds like you have too much on your plate.(In other words, too many things to deal with) I hope everything works out for you. Please find someone you can trust to talk about all this. Someone kind and patient. And feel free to ask me if you need any more advice. God Bless!P.S:I'm not sure if you meant by work a job, or just school work. If it's school work, find a tutor who can help you with the subjects you are struggling with. Good luck! ((Hugs))
|
|
My friend just spread a rumor saying i wanted to have sex with my cousin who everyone knows b/c he's my age. I want to just beat my "friend" up or cuss her out, but i know that's not the right thing to do. Anyone have any suggestions? and DONT tell me to just talk to her. I want to say something that'll make her wish she never messed with me! (link)
| |
Well, she must have some reason she wants to hurt you. Sit her down and ask her what is the problem and why does she want to hurt you. Real friends don't do things like that. If she refuses to acknowlege she did anything wrong, and insists that the rumor is true, get your cousin to talk to her too and tell her that if she doesn't tell everyone that the rumor was not true, that you both will together and it will make her look like a fool. Don't let her intimidate you. Be strong. I'm sure your cousin is just as embarrased as you about this disgusting rumor. If you have anything on her, you might threaten to bring it up if she doesn't stop the rumor herself. Good luck!
|
|
I'm a 17 y/o male currently a junior in highschool. There's this girl I've known in 7th grade and she moved somewhere after that and now she attends my highschool. We talk now and she's real nice and it's all good except now I've noticed how real attractive she is. What are some things that I can do to make her attracted to me the same way I am to her or anything to get us to the point beyond friends? (link)
| |
Well, you can't make someone have those feelings for you. It's all chemistry. But you can do your best to show her the great person you are. Find out what your common interests are. For example, if you like the same kind of movies, invite her to one that you would both like, but make it casual. Maybe invite another couple along to break the ice. Then go out for pizza or whatever after the movie and talk about it. Generally speaking, girls like guys who are sincere, considerate, and don't try to show off or act macho. Also, take a sincere interest in her feelings and ideas, and don't try to be something you're not. In other words, be yourself. Tell her when you think she looks nice, but don't overdo it. For example "That sweater is a great color on you." And "Your hair looks really pretty today." Stuff like that. No ogleing or comments about her body. Maybe you could study together if there is a subject you, she, or both of you are struggling with. Good luck!
|
17/f
Hey!
oookkk i need major advice lol cause my friends def. dont give me any. i really like this guy, but he does a lot of stuff i dont like. he smokes a lot, drinks to much (i like to drink but he drinks all the time) and hes just kinda known as a "bad boy". a lot of people tell me i could do a lot better. he gets into trouble a lot and starts fights with people, but im really comfortable with him and i like the way he makes me feel. i dont know what balances out more or if its worth going through stuff he does... and if i should keep being with him cause i really like him but i really dont wanna get stuck in his drama and the stuff he does. i dont want to lead him on either... so if i should get away from him i need to. hes a really nice guy and he has a lot of friends and i know he would never hurt me... but the things he does really bothers me... and i dont like to see him get hurt or get in fights. I NEED MAJOR ADVICE!!!
-kelly (link)
| |
Well, first of all you should tell him how much you care about him and that you worry about his well-being. His behaivior is very self-destructive and can put you in danger. Stay away from this guy until he gets help from these problems. Don't go anywhere with him, especially in a car. Tell him that you really care about him but can't be around him when he does these things. If he really cares about you, he will get help. I recently lost an uncle to alcholism, so I know this is no joke. It's a serious addiction, and if he doesn't get help, he's putting you both at risk. Good luck and take care.
|
Dear ---,
This is with regards to Items listed by you on our site ------.---
We wish to inform you that we have closed your items listed on our site as we are currently involved in a system-wide initiative to remove all sellers selling pirated CD's on -----The procedure is that all sellers who cannot supply adequate proof of legitimacy or sign an indemnity letter to the effect that if any of their items are detected as being pirated in nature, they stand to face the appropriate penalty not only from -----, but also from any national-level authority (such as NASSCOM, etc) to whom their details will be forwarded.
One of the drawbacks in this system is that there is no longer any scope for non-organized sellers who are buying from the market legitimately (with bill) and re-selling on --------.If you are organized retailer / wholesaler / distributor / publisher / franchisee for CD Games, please have the enclosed indemnity letter duly signed by you , printed on a Rs.20 stamped paper and sent to the ------- Address mentioned below :
---
---
---
Kindly note that we await your document details in order to allow you to sell Gaming CD - Roms on our site , please note that without the receipt of the same we regret to inform you that we cannot allow to sell them on our site. In future if we come across you listing them on our site , we wish to inform you that we shall be forced to close them.
You would appreciate this is a step taken to protect the interest of users on the site.
Looking forward for your co-operation in this matter
----------------------------
Well Abv was the mail sent to me!!! I was (afraid to use "is") a seller at this online shop. I noticed many users getting away with selling pirated software Cds, so I also thought of earning some money. Damn, now I am in a fix!!#$%
Well I want to respond to their mail in a convincing manner stating I'm really sorry for waht I did. ANy help would be really appreciated.
And please help fast!!And I'm only 17 yrs old and I feel like tearing out my hairs.!!!!!!H E L P Sorry 4 such a long Q. (link)
| |
I have no experience in this kind of matter, but my guess is a sincere apology would probably help considering that you are a minor. Something like "Dear____, I am sorry for selling illegal items on your site, but since there were many others doing the same thing, I thought that I could do it too. I did not realize how serious an offense this is, and I know now that what I did was wrong. I am only 17 years old, a minor, and do not wish to have to bring my parents into this, and burden them with having to take me to court. Please accept my most sincere apologies, and my promise that this will not happen again." Also, please discuss this situation with your parents, and perhaps get advice from a lawyer before doing anything. A lawyer may advise you differently. I haven't told too many people this, but when I was a teenager, I was in a choral group and we went on a cruise to the Carribean Islands. While on the ship, me and this other girl got the notion to steal a bunch of pictures from the ship's photograper of our group. Of course, we got caught, and our parents were called. The worse that happened was our parents had to pay for all the pictures. I hope in your case, they go easy on you. I assume this is your first offense. Next time you want to earn extra cash, do it the honest way. Get a job after school and on weekends. You'll feel much better about yourself. Good luck, and let me know how it all works out. ((HUGS))
|
|
how do you get birth control pills without your parents knowing? (link)
| |
I'm glad you asked because I did this myself when I was younger. I was in my 20's but still living with my parents, and I didn't want them to know. What I did was look in the phone book for a free clinic and took a bus there to get them. But I still had to pay a lot for them. If you have a job, this won't be a problem, otherwise, you are out of luck. If you go to your regular dr telling your mom you just want a check-up and then ask for birth control, then you'll still have a prescription, and your parents will still find out about it. Are you the 14 year old that asked me that other question about doing it with pj's on and was worried about sperm? If you are, or you are some other very young girl, think twice about rushing into things, and talk to your mom or an adult you trust about this. Maybe they will be willing to help. Whatever you do, be carefull and stay safe. Maybe you can get a friend to help you pay for them if you are totally sure that's what you want to do. Feel free to ask me any more questions about this or anything else on your mind. ((HUGS))
|
|
i know this might sound kinda stupid but i looked it up on the web and cant find an answer and i made a choice that i regret (kinda) well i was with a guy and we did some stuff and he asked me if i wanted to do "it" and i said no but like after awhile he pulled it out and tried to put it in through my very thin cloth pj's an well i didnt know if sperm dies as soon as it touches cloth (thats what i heard) and im not sure if its true and i dont want to have a baby at 14 so is that true ? (link)
| |
About the sperm question, it's highly unlikely that you can get pregnant this way. I think sperm need a moist warm environment to survive(if you get my drift) If you are concerned, go to a doctor or a free clinic and ask. It's confidential. Your parents don't have to know. Also, be careful with guys that pressure you into doing anything you are not comfortable with. If you do decide to "do it" make sure it's for the "right " reasons, and not because of peer or guy pressure. You don't want to popular "that way." Be true to yourself and be careful. Use protection every time. A guy that truly cares about you(and that's the only kind to consider) won't mind using a condom. And get some birth control when you decide the time is right. Take Care, and if you have any more questions, feel free to ask me. ((HUGS))
|
|
hey i just wanted to thank you for your advice but our relationship did work out very well he went to universal w/o me and ended up meeting a girl from our school there and some of my "friends" where with him and took pictures of him doing stuff with her and other stuff like that and i actually wasn't to surprised to hear this but i got upset anyways and this was on the saturday after i started going out with him so it only lasted 5 days anyways to the point thanks for your advice but an ex of mine and i just started talking recently and he asked me out but we never see eachother and well i dont want to hurt him but hes not really my type and well ive been waiting for a NEW guy to ask me out but its taking him a long time should i wait ????? (link)
| |
Yes, wait and don't worry about it. You are young and have your whole life ahead of you. Several young girls have asked questions about relationships that I answered. Can you tell me which one was yours? Were you the one that was dating the guy that smoked pot? Let me know. Thanks, and take care of yourself. :-)
|
ok ive liked this guys for six months and he just asked me out like 4 days ago and i was thinking about how much i liked him compared to all of my other boyfriends and this by far is the most serious one even tho weve only been going out for 4 days it feels like i really do love him , but im have 2nd thoughts about telling him how i feel because (1 we are to totally different people as in he isnt a virgin and i am he does pot and i dont and i dont have a problem with him doing it , its just im not sure how he would react (2 he might think im nuts and walk away and tell his friends so they can stare at me even more at me during lunch (3 he may not feel the same way about me . and i have a friend of his who is a friend of mine and says that he talks about me all the time and in the "good" way. ok well let me get to the point im leaving this summer for 3 months and im leaving in about a month and i seriously cant stand not seeing him and i wanted to tell him how i felt befor i left ... should i?
*~a person with love issues~* (link)
| |
Well, I wouldn't go so far as to tell him you love him, but just tell him you care about him. If you say it with sincerety, he will appreciate it. I would be concerned about him doing pot. Try to oberve how often he does it. I don't think this is a very wise thing to do. Ask him if he plans to quit soon, if not tell him that you worry about something happening to him, like an accident, because it impairs his thinking and you also don't want to see him get arrested for possesion. Since he is not a virgin, he may try to pressure you to have sex before you are ready, or try to get you to smoke pot, and then take advantage of you. Be careful around this guy. As much as you like him, you don't really know him. It's more of an infatuation than love. He may not be the right one for you, especially if he tries to change you, and make you more like him. I am probably the first adult to answer this question, no offense to the teens that answered, but I have more life experience, and have known guys like this. All I can say is be true to yourself, and do what you know is right. Follow your head before you follow your heart. If you need any more advice, feel free to write me anytime.
|
|
can a girl die form having sex? (link)
| |
First of all, to the other advisors:I don't agree with some of the scare tactics a lot of you used in answering this question. No, you can't die from having sex. But having unprotected sex is like playing with a loaded pistol. Ok, maybe that's a scare tactic, but this is a scary sitation. To put it simply: make sure the person you are considering having sex with cares enough about you to use protection. If you are young, consider waiting. There is no rush. If the guy cares, he'll wait too. If not, forget him. Sex is not as important as the feelings that should be behind the act;love, and may I add commitment. I don't think necessarily marriage, although that is ideal, but it should be leading there at the very least. It's all up to you, and that in itself can be scary. Just be wise, and protect yourself, body, and heart. Take Care.
|
|
im 13 ok for my period i wear pads iv never tried a tampon and i wanna use a tampon but my mom doesnt wear tampons and i dont think she will let me wear tampons i donno why. nut how can i go to teh store and buy tampons without her knowing? (link)
| |
I agree with the person who said tampons leak. I tried them a few times, and just never felt comfortable. I don't like the idea of putting something in my body that might not be safe. TSS is probably not that common, but why risk it? If you want to go swimming, you can just wait until you are off your period, no biggie. I like the ultra-thin pads they make now. They are comfortable, and not bulky. You won't feel so self-consious, because you won't feel like you are wearing a diaper. Talk to your mom about why she prefers pads, and why she prefers you wear them too. She may just be worried about TSS as well. There are some people that think using tampons makes you not a virgin anymore. I had a friend that thought that. I think it's ridiculous. I'm not saying your mom thinks that, but maybe she thinks that tampons are too grown-up and she's having a hard time dealing with the fact that you have reached puberty. It's hard letting go of your "little girl". Whatever her reasons, I'm sure they are valid, and if it's really that important to you, she may change her mind. Take care, and enjoy being a girl, despite the "curse" (just kidding).
|
|
me and my friend clint went skateboarding at vans skatepark. while we were skating we noticed two girls watching us. so we go up to them and start to talk. we got their screen names and said goodbye. i liked both but my friend only liked one. so we talked to them online and became fiends. then my friend asked amanda out (amanda is the one that he liked) and the next day i asked jenah out. me and jenah went out but when i would call her amanda would be at her house and i would end up talkin to amanda. then me and amanda became really close friends. we knew more about eachother than we knew about her boyfriend and my girlfriend. then me and her fell in love with each other. i broke up with jenah not cause of her but she was one of the reasons. i didnt want her to break up with clint cause she loves him, but she loves me also. now she says she cant even be my friend cause she is afraid that she will fall for me even more. she wont talk to me and it really hurts. she was even thinkin about suicide and so was i. what should i do? i need her in my life and i told her this, and she even said she needs me but she cant handle me and clint at the same time. please tell me what to do. (link)
| |
I agree with what that first person said. Please don't do anything drastic, like suicide. You are young, and things like this happen sometimes, it's not that tragic. You and Amanda need to sit down and talk it out with the other two. Be calm, and don't blame anyone. Just explain what happened and how you two feel about each other. And if your friend can't handle it, and you really want to keep him as a friend, then the girls will have to go. I know it's hard, but friendship is very important, and there will be other girls in your life. Maybe it won't come to that. You can just swap girlfriends and that will be that, or move on. Good luck, and if you need further advice, write me. In any case, I'd like to know what happens. Take Care!
|
|
No I can hear fine now when I my mother fooundt out It was 3 months after I had the ear infection she took me to the doctor and i got antibiotics and I was fine. Its just that as i have been getting older the feeling that i don't belong in the "Hearing world" got stronger and stonger. The feeling that I didn't belong Physically, Mentally and culturally was there for a years I just didn't know how to explain it. (link)
| |
Well, that's good, then. Treasure your hearing and and maybe take that sign language class and get to know some deaf people. Maybe you were meant to help them in some way, like interpreting. It's something to think about. Also, consider some professional counceling. Take Care.
|
I am 14 and a freshman in high school. A friend so many months ago got me involved in quizbowl. Later we dated. He is a senior. Now we never talk because of a quizbowl-related incident (I am a dork, I know). But another guy has shown up on the scene and I really like him. We went to a play together a week ago and he asked me to be his girlfriend. I don't know what to say. He's a sophomore, only 15. He's also involved in quizbowl.
How do you make enchilladas? (link)
| |
To that last person, no you are not the only one who doesn't know what quizbowl is? Huh? I'm I totally out of it or what? Is this some kind of kinky sex game? I ask because you said you didn't want to be a quizbowl whore. I can't even answer your question unless you explain to me what that is. You shouldn't assume everybody knows what that is. It may be something teenagers in your area know about. Ha ha I get the enchillada joke. When you read the instructions for asking questions on this site, it tells you not to ask two questions at once. That was the example they used. Cute. :-) If you want a good answer, ask me directly and tell me what you are talking about. I promise I will give you good advice.
|
|
When I was younger I a serious ear infection that was so bad to the point I was unable to hear people's voices. My mom realized something was wrong with i didn't start to develope my speaking skills. As i grew up I {knowing nothing of my hearing problem of when i was younger}I felt as I didn't belong how I didn't know until a several months ago and now I feel that I should be "Deaf" Instead of "Hearing" I just don't seem to belong in the "hearing world" that I should be in the "deaf world". In class i started reading peoples lips for no reason at all but like it so if I ever miss something I can catch it. I wish all the time that i was deaf. Does this mean i have a sick mind? Am I using a deafness as an escape to sort of try and solve my porblems or something like that? If anyone reads this post and is upset by it i'm sorry. (link)
| |
I don't understand your question. I'm sorry, but it's a little confusing. Are you saying you've had this hearing problem your whole life and you never had anything done about it? Why didn't your mom take you to an ear doctor and get you a hearing aid, so you wouldn't have to go through all this isolation and misery? Were you too poor to get one? How old are you? I don't know why you would prefer to be deaf. Maybe it's because you feel you would fit in better with other people who are hearing impaired. That makes sense, but if you still have some hearing, save it before you lose it forever. I have nothing against deaf people, but ask any one of them if they could regain their hearing, would they want to, and you know what they would say, "Yes!" Think of all that you are missing out on: Music, meaningful conversations, the sound of the ocean, birds, etc... Please take my advice and go to an ear doctor and get help before it's too late. If you like reading lips, take a class in that, and sign language. Even if you are hearing, there's nothing wrong with that. Perhaps you can become an interpreter. Good Luck!
|
__Takes my breath away__
Sitting next to him,
I like to say,
that he takes my breath away,
To the Lord,
I pray,
because he takes my breath away,
In my mind,
over and over I play,
"He takes my breath away",
his name is no use,
for all I say,
Is that he takes my breath away,
He's taken, I know,
but be it as it may,
he still takes my breath away.
(link)
| |
It's sweet, and passionate, but sounds too much like several song lyrics I've heard. But don't give up. I used to write poems like this too. Repetative lyrics are part of poetry, and that person that said it sucked or whatever was very rude and knows nothing about poetry. I thought is was sing-songy and pretty. Song lyrics are poems set to music, and I have a feeling you would be a good songwriter. But not this particular poem, because as I've said, It's already been done. Look in the back of magazines for those adds about needing song lyrics, and send some in. Also go to poetry.com where you can post your poems for free and maybe win a prize and get published. Good luck! Also, good advice from Advicegirl. She is sweet and a good poet, don't you think? ;-)
|
|
can you choose not to luv sum1 like i fell in luv with a guy n he doesnt luv me can i choose not to luv him anymore (link)
| |
I'm sorry that you are in this situation, as I know it can be quite painful, whether it's love, inatuation, or obsession is not so much the issue. The question you must ask yourself is "Is he worth it?" Is he worth all the pain and the frustration of trying to win him over, and is there any real possiblility of this happening? If the only way to win him over is by being someone you're not, then it's not worth it, because you'll never be happy. On the other hand, you'll never be happy if he doesn't return your feelings and you are being yourself. My suggestion is to give yourself time to get over this guy and find out what qualities you want in a guy. One of them should be that he accepts and respects you for who you are. And don't listen to that person who said love is a fabrication. That answer is a fabrication(in other words, b.s.) But I'm sure you already know that. You cannot chose who you love, but you can choose who is good for you, and who isn't. Love is not the only factor in a relationship. Compatibility is important too. Love yourself and respect yourself enough to want whats best for you.
|
See, I am in the seventh grade and I have alot of enemies . Like some people say and talk behind my back . See, I'm not popular and I don't want to be because, there are a bunch of girls and boys talking behind each others backs . See those people joke on me . I know I shouldn't respond, but I do . What are they intimidated by me or is it something wrong with me ? They say that I'm smart but I always want more for myself and I expect others to want whats best for them . I really don't care what the others want , I care about what I want . I am nice to those I don't even like . Why are they this way towards me ? What have I done to the girls and guys at my school? I speak my mind and they try to persecute you for this . Don't you just hate it ? Peace .
(link)
| |
I can definatly relate. I was picked on all through school. The only difference was that I was shy and didn't speak my mind. I guess I was an easy target. My guess is that these kids are just insecure about themselves, and have to pick on someone to build themselves up. They chose you for some reason, probably out of jealousy. I would'nt suggest you saying as much to them, because that will only make them resent you more, and I know you say you don't care, but on some level you do, or you would'nt have asked the question. My advice: Ignore them, and they will tire of their game, and find someone else to pick on, and if they do, you can befriend that person and become allies. The teen years are difficult ones, and what seems so important to you now, won't matter to you at all as you grow up. You just need to rise above their petty jealousies and not let them get to you. Someday, you'll look back on these days and wonder why they mattered to you so much. I read this somewhere and I don't know who said it, but "The best revenge is a life well-lived". I think this is all you need to know. Good luck, and be true to yourself, and stand up for your beliefs. I think you have a good head on your shoulders. Peace ;-)
|
|