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does anyone else think this was out of line?


Question Posted Thursday January 26 2006, 1:05 am

I have a male friend who is 39 and has told me that he never wants to get married or have kids. That is fine- for him. But I've told him how someday I want to be in a proper marriage and have children. Well we were talking today and I told him how a medium had read my palm several weeks ago, and told me that I would be having 3 children, (one set of fraternal twins, and a girl). Well this is what my friend said "well you better get started right away, and you'll need to find a husband".
I thought this was a very vindictive thing for him to say. I am only 27 and told him I still have a lot of time before my clock stops ticking. I have a theory on his attitude: two years ago he told me he wanted to sleep with me. I told him I was saving myself for my future husband, and that I wanted kids. This is when I found out that he never wanted to get married or have children. (not that I wanted to be with him anyways).
So my question is, does anyone else think what he said was mean? And do you think he said it to get back at me for not wanting to sleep with him?


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sizzlinmandolin answered Thursday January 26 2006, 3:57 pm:
It sounds to me like he was just teasing you for seeing and seemingly trusting the word of a psycic. I can see how you took it the way you did, I would have too. There was a miscommunication because he doesn't understand how you feel (about wanting to have children and a loving marriage) so he wasn't careful with his words. I wouldn't worry about it too much. He had no ill intentions. If it keeps bothering you it may be a good idea to talk about it with him and get everything cleared up. I hope that you two can resolve your differences and remain friends. Good luck!

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Mckick answered Thursday January 26 2006, 9:52 am:
I don't think he meant to hurt you because you didn't want to sleep with him. Some guys see there friends in marriages and some of them work and some don't and I think that he doesn't want to be the one that his marriage doesn't work. There's a guy out there that is going to want to be with you and marry you. Plus I don't know if the medium was tellling you the truth. Hope I helped.

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thisismydance answered Thursday January 26 2006, 9:45 am:
that was mean of him.
but he might think that you were getting at something...that you wanted the kids to be his or something. sometimes guys just think that if someone mentions that around them that they want it to be them. some guys just have their head so far up their butts that they think they are what everyone wants. just ignore what he said. if it bothers you that bad... tell him that he should keep that to himself. your dreams are ovbiously different. your right though. you have plenty of time. that isnt something you want to rush into.
-jodie

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Courtney answered Thursday January 26 2006, 9:40 am:
I think he meant what he said in a hilarious joke kind of way. What you have to understand is that most men do not want children. I think the idea of having a responsibility that ties them down for the rest of thier lives frightens them. You just have to accept the fact that he doesn't want to have children and that he may only want to be with you in that way. I don't think he said it b/c you didn't sleep with him but I think he said it because it's what he meant. And why get angry with him over what he means or feels. Respect it and get over it. Hope you have a nice day.

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Moggie answered Thursday January 26 2006, 7:47 am:
Here you have a typical attitude of a lot more men these days who just wants the nuptials of married life but not the commitments.
I should not worry about upsetting him as you say you are not particular of being with him anyway so go out and find someone genuine who wants a women to marry and have kids to grow up together with.
Moggie

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karenR answered Thursday January 26 2006, 6:23 am:
I don't think he was being mean. I think he was teasing you.

Don't take it so seriously. :)

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