A few details about myself,I am 82 years young,retired at 77years and now enjoy being a columnist although I have not contributed much so far,and bye the way i am English.
I am married and my wife is a young bird 76 years and we are in our 57th year of marriage.
We started early as she was 11 years old and I was 15 because my sister married her brother and in the early days we used to wrestle over comics (we got off over doing this which we did not admit until many years later as it was not the done thing in our days),We spent a lot of time together in air raid shelters with the womenfolk as the bombing was very ferocious.
I was called into the Army at 18 years and served with The British Army and also with the Indian in Burma and also sometime with Vinegar Joe Stilwells American Forces where the fighting and conditions were horrendous but the comradeship of all nations were unbelievable.
I arrived back home in 1947 and the reason for being late after the war finished is that I joined one of the searcher teams looking for evidence as to the fate of 330,000 prisoners of War and Civilian Internees missing believed killed.
I married in 1947 and we have 4 children and now are looking for things to do and probably bring a little joy or comfort to our correspondents
Gender: Male
Location: England
Occupation: Retired
Age: 82
Member Since: February 23, 2004
Answers: 31
Last Update: January 26, 2006
Visitors: 3316
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what do you do when something is annoying the heck out of you, when you can't get something out of your mind, when you keep going back and thinking about the same thing all the time without realizing it til it's too late. Why can't I just stop? I don't want to think about this.
I feel there's something wrong with me. (link)
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Such thoughts whatever they are could lead to depression and anxiety and we do not want that to happen to a person who I suspect may be young,
that is for the older who generally have things to sought out but that's another story,
You might try to satisfy yourself in ridding these thoughts is by doing things to occupy your mind and thoughts, something like concentrating fully in cleaning your room and doing other tasks which you normally hate to do, then give yourself a pat on the back.
You must have a lot of good things about yourself,focus on them when your annoyance rears its head.
Moggie
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I have a male friend who is 39 and has told me that he never wants to get married or have kids. That is fine- for him. But I've told him how someday I want to be in a proper marriage and have children. Well we were talking today and I told him how a medium had read my palm several weeks ago, and told me that I would be having 3 children, (one set of fraternal twins, and a girl). Well this is what my friend said "well you better get started right away, and you'll need to find a husband".
I thought this was a very vindictive thing for him to say. I am only 27 and told him I still have a lot of time before my clock stops ticking. I have a theory on his attitude: two years ago he told me he wanted to sleep with me. I told him I was saving myself for my future husband, and that I wanted kids. This is when I found out that he never wanted to get married or have children. (not that I wanted to be with him anyways).
So my question is, does anyone else think what he said was mean? And do you think he said it to get back at me for not wanting to sleep with him? (link)
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Here you have a typical attitude of a lot more men these days who just wants the nuptials of married life but not the commitments.
I should not worry about upsetting him as you say you are not particular of being with him anyway so go out and find someone genuine who wants a women to marry and have kids to grow up together with.
Moggie
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Ok Exams are here, and i am completely stressed over one in particular: Calculus. I have such a busy weekend because my young aunt from the states is coming and i want to do stuff but the exam is on tuesday ( i also have another on monday) and i freaking out. Any good tips on how i should prepare well for this exam, i am perplexed on how to confront it. Thanx in advance. (link)
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If you explain to your Aunt about your concern in respect of your Exams and their importance I am sure she will allow you space and time to prepare,Education is the most important part of your life as it controls your earning capacity and your future lifestyle
Moggie
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Dear Ruth,
Hi I got a problem and I was wondering if you could give me some advice.
I'm in a relationship for 2 years now with a married guy. I never asked him to do anything and to be honest I always had the hope that he will leave his wife one day. Well 6 weeks ago the army send him back to the states. Suddenly 2 weeks before he left he told his wife all about me and that he don’t want to be with her no more. So he ended up to go to Colorado to his next duty station by him self.
Well after he got the states we talked on the phone and talked every day on the Computer. He was different he rubbed old stuff in my face like 6 month ago I talked to people on the internet. The reason I did that was cause I really needed the attention what he couldn’t gave me because he still was living with his family in the same house and also made me believe for a while that he will never leave her. So I thought the only way to get over it is to keep my self busy or find someone who helps me get over it. I don’t know why I did that because I love him a lot and I would do anything to make this work me and him. Well like I said he rubbed in my face all the time and said he don’t need a girl who talked to other guys cause if I would love him I would never done that. I don’t know why he brought this up cause we talked about it and I told him why I did it and everything was alright again. I mean I even told him everything.
Anyways 2 weeks ago I went to the states to visit him and it shocked me that was not the guy I met and knew for 2 years. He was distance sometimes really quiet and it seamed he was thinking a lot. I was planning to stay 3 weeks there after 2 weeks he wanted me to go back home cause he said he needed time to think. I did understood it cause I know he never been by himself after he left her. There still lived at the same house for 2 weeks and she was yelling at him all the time. So I thought he needs to be by himself to start working at the stuff what happened the last few weeks.
I got back to Germany did not hear a week from him. Yesterday we talked on the phone again. He said he don’t care about anyone no more, he got no feelings for no one and he just want to be left alone. I was like ok if you telling me you don’t care about me no more I guess I wont care no more neither and hanged up. I was really said and hurt that he said this after all we went threw. I also was mad that I went to the states for a jack ass like that. Today I called him again I know it was wrong but I couldn’t believe what he told me the day before. Well the talked normal until he started the internet thing again. We pushed each other that
far that I told him everything I felt. I said that he is a liar for telling me 2 years that he loves me and never want to lose me. That I cant believe he told me before he left that he loves me and then 4 weeks later he don’t have any feelings for me anymore. You can’t stop loving someone in a short time like that. He said that I should start to understand that we will never be like we used to be and there is NO us in the further I can be his friend and if I cant respect that then we should stop talking and break it off all the way. I should get the prcture out of my heat that me and Him are married and have a life together. I denied that I had a picture like he thinks made up. He wants to be single the rest of his life and he doesn’t need that shit no more. He DID love that’s how he ended it.
I don’t know what to think I'm really confused we really went threw a lot of problems in those 2 years and he also used to be my best friend all that is gone. I can’t believe he just can turn his feelings off like that. I don’t believe him that he wants me to find an other Boyfriend I just cant. Maybe I’m the dumb one here and just can’t take it that he dumped me, but I can’t understand why he is acting like this. He always was honest to me and never said he will leave his wife until he actually did and I think that surprised him too. He told me that he never thought he was able to tell her about me. He told me about his problems with her and that he doesn’t love her no more but ever made me any hopes. So I know he did not just played with me for 2 years. I don’t know what to do this is not the guy I used to know.
Please help and tell me what to too. Right now I feel like I’m falling and falling and cant never get up again. I’m so hurt that I can’t even walk or think about anything else. I don know what to do no more. Please help me.
If there is anything else you want to know let me know. Sorry about my English but I’m German and I’m really up sad and cant thing straight.
Thanks Jasmin
(link)
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I am afraid that this fellow is one big complicated mess who has not got a clue as to what he want's and the sooner you end the relationship the better.
You are the short straw and he will never let go of his family,there is a saying" he wants his cake and eat it which means you will always be his bit on the side and his family will be the stable part of his marriage despite what he tells you, there are lots of good single steady guys around.
Moggie
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My dad made me cry my eyes out today. This is what happened.
Well last August I was asked by my cousin to be a bridesmaid for her wedding in April of this year. I said yes, and at the time was unemployed. Well I have a job now at a really good company. But I'm still on a 3 month probation. My grandma (who is paying for the wedding) was expecting me to take 3 days off on a weekend this Febuary just for a dress fitting!! She lives 6 hours away, and I would have had to take the greyhound bus. I told my dad this and he started screaming at me, saying that I was going to lose my job over this. I have a mental illness, and this is the first job I've had in 5 years. He said I would never get another job again and that he wanted me to drop out of the wedding, and that the job was too important. Well I started to cry because I really want to be a bridesmaid but also don't want to lose my job. I asked him if he could phone grandma and make some sort of comprimise, like maybe get the dress fitted her. Then he said "the fact that you're crying shows how delicate you are". He was really mean about the whole thing.
I still want to be in the wedding. I talked to my grandma and she is going to send up the fabric for me to get a local seamstress to make the dress so I won't have to take time off work until the wedding. But I'm still really upset at my dad. How should I act around him? And does anyone else think what he said was out of line? (link)
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I think your father's concern was mainly about your future as it is your first job for five years as all parents are when their brood is growing up, that is why he went over the top which I agree with you was not right but you must realise parents have tantrums as well.
Try not to be hard on him and approach your new firm and request the time off as the arrangement fot the wedding happened long before you were employed by them, i am sure you will get a sympathetic hearing
Moggie
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My younger sister constantly bugs me, because I don't have 50 friends like she does. I just have 15, 6 of which I talk to on a *daily* basis. Is it bad that I don't have a million friends like she does, or is she just being a bitch? (link)
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A real friend is someone is sincere and you can trust,Quantity does not come into it because even if you only had one who you could discuss you problems with then why worry about your sisters insecure social state where she has to have loads of people around her which I doubt you can call genuine friends
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my mother died a couple years ago and i feel like it's my fualt. as a child i didn't get a lot of attention from my friends so i kept wishing that someone in my family would die! and it happened and i regret everything i wished! is it my fualt my mom died? (link)
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I am afraid that this is a part of the growing up process which if you cannot get your own way or your parent do something which you think is awful but you are too young to understand why these things are done which in most cases for your own benefit but you cannot see it, so you lash out and think all kinds of wicked thoughts and hope that one of them will happen which when you are young is soon forgotten.
It is only when something really happens that people tend to look back and wonder was it really their fault but forget it as it happens to all of us
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Would it be too much to ask people to use proper spelling, punctuation and grammar on Advicenators? I know that for some people, typing chatspeak is a lot easier and quicker, but communication works both ways here, and if the other person can't read chatspeak, the point of the message gets lost. The use of chatspeak also implies hastiness and a lack of sincerity.
Thanks for reading. (link)
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I am pleased that this question has been aired because I for one think that if you sincerely need answers to questions which may be worrying you, then you should take time in putting together something which is legible for all of us to understand as many of us are not teeny weenies and if it is knowledge you want we are the people you should be looking for to answer.
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I know it's annoying to others, but I've been doing it for years, and its very hard to stop. It doesn't hurt, and contrary to popular belief, it does not cause arthritis. I'm 35 and my husband hates it when I do this. My fingers get very stiff sometimes, and this relieves the tension. All it really does it release pockets of air in the joints, which makes the "popping" sound.(I read this in a magazine.) Sometimes, I even do my toes, knees, and wrists. I used to be able to pop one side of my jaw and my neck, but not anymore. Are there any others out there that do this? I can't be the only one. How do you stop yourself from doing it around others and at inappropriate times? I was going to put this question in the random weirdos category, but I don't think it's that weird, it's more closer to an addiction. Any advice or reasurrances that I'm not alone? (link)
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I have a niece who pops her knuckles and the sound goes right through me but she keeps my computer up to date and repairs any problems I may get, so what,?
She always does it in my company and I asked why only to hear her say"you are my favourite Uncle and I know you can't wait for me to do it"
So be it.
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my dad will not let me ride around the neighborhood with a big group of friends or just one friend! he thinks someone is gunna snatch me up! so i have bike that i can't ride! i have to ride with an adult! it's
SO embarrasing! i tried talkin to him but he is being such a a........ (link)
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You have not stated your age and the type of area that you live in so we only have a part of the story,also we had 4 children who thought I was a bit of hard character but Mother used to load the gun and left me to fire it so he might not be such an asshole as you think
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I think I might be gay. What should I do? I'm almost 16 (guy) and I'm sick of being confused. (link)
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Many thanks for your question and sympathise with your problem but although I have met Gays over the years in ordinary day to day life I have never have had in depth discussions about their lives or how they knew that it would be the life they would lead.
I am sorry that I cannot help you on this matter but if you put this question to all our columnists I am sure that you will receive the advice you are looking for.
All the very best of luck
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I was recently diagnosed with a bakers cyst. Am I allowed to exercise with it? (link)
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I think it would be advisable to seek advice before you start because something very physical can cause you unnecessary pain and prolong the recovery.
Resting is normally recommended.
Get well soon
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I have a bad sunburn on my face and I would like to know what to put on it OTC or if I should see my doctor. (link)
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Sunburn can be very painfull and also very bad for your skin,never overestimate your immunity because the sun is very strong these days.
You should cool the skin with water and then cover the area with Calamine Lotion and if the pain is very bad take some Paracetamol.
Hope you will soon be better
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the advise that you have just given me was unhelpful, i meant that i feel like i need to urinate but when i go nothing i.e urine, comes out, i don;t mean to sound ungreatful but im in need (link)
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As it would appear from your first question that you have had a load of advice from fellow columnists you do not seem satisfied with the answers.
You appear to be young and feel awkward about metioning this problem and as it can be a slight infection I should talk to your Mother or a close adult to go with you to a lady doctor to sort your upset.
Best of luck and I hope you will soon be well.
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Okay, I know this is weird, but I think my teacher is, uh... attracted to me. I mean, he's like, weird around me. I can't explain it, he's just like, flirting all the time or something! What the heck am I supposed to do???? - Very Confused Student (link)
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You may feel wanted and important that your teacher seems to be attracted to you but as this seems to be a situation which is loaded with problems you should seek advice and talk to someone about it as other advisers has suggested
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what are caffeines effects on the body? (link)
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I am an Englishman so I should not be answering this as our intake is only a fraction of yours but I always find it gives me a boost and sharpens my alertness in the morning,all the experts tell us there is a downside but what's new,
they say that about everything you enjoy and you do not have people coming up to you and say "I've got caffeine poisoning".
There is decaffeinated but ugh
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I know it sounds sad but for 2 days i have had very painfull chest pains under my left rib near my heart im very worried and i dont know what to do. Recently i have had an operation and went under local anasthestic and where the needle went in on the top of my hand my vein has swollen up and it hurts maybe thats got somthing t do with it maybe its stopping the blood getting to the heart please help me (link)
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Sorry to hear about your chest pains which always causes worry but a lot of things besides the obvious which we immediately think it is normally turns out to be indigestion or sitting awkward etc.
As you have recently had an operation and the swollen hand has caused you to worry I do suggest that you either go to the place you had your operation for them to look at it and check your chest pain, or to your own doctor to give you a check up.
We all worry and tend to put two and two together and get five which is as wrong as we are when we get the results from the experts. Best of luck and hope you are soon well.
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after spending a week in hospital with bad stomach pian on the right side of my body at first it then soread to all over. now it is on the right side again.I have just got out of hospital after a week where they could not find what was wrong.They are even saying it could be to do with my appendix being removed 34 years ago my tempreture went up to 40 they are doing some more test in a couple of weeks but are still insisting it is my appendix has anybody else heard of this (link)
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I would not have thought that after all those many years that you would have a reaction to your appendix operation, I myself had during the war an appendix problem in the army which because of the fighting I could not be rushed to a medical centre and concequently it burst causing Peritonitis.
After all that I was returned to my unit fit and well after nine months so I do not think the appendix is causing the problem.
Go and see your doctor again and the best of luck
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I am having a yard sale. And I told my friend who lives next door, that she had anything she was welcome to bring it over.
The promblem is that she is not only bring things over for her but, she has things her family has asked her to sale and her co-workers.
I asked if she was going to be able to help me. She said she would come over for a little while. But won't be able to stay very long.
I am now overwhelmed, I have a 2 year old and a 4 year old, and a yard sale. The first day my husband has to work so he can't help. Do you think it is right that she is bringing stuff for other people. Without asking me? And if so, how can I get her to understand that it is almost too much for me? (link)
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This could be a very ticklish subject if you do not handle it carefully as friends can act very funny if they are being told off about something which they had taken for granted, it could be long lasting.
what you need to do is to explain to your friend the position you are in as far as looking after the other peoples goods and as there are co-workers besides herself suggest to her that they come and help with the disposal of their property, if this fails tell her straight that you cannot do it.after all who wants friends like that
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Allright, I have recently started taking ADDERALL(ADD drug), which goes against all my beliefs, but this way I can stay at my current school which I love. I have an agreement with my parents if I take it I can stay at my current school. But, today after it started kicking in I heard voices. It started in geography, we were talking about Sharon the butcher of Israel. Someone in my head, who was me but not started telling me about how eyes are made of glass and Sharon took out his victims eyes and put them on a wall. It chanted, "Wall of eyes" until I screamed so loud in my head I was suprised no one heard me. It never shut up, unless I was talking to someone, but once I stopped it started. It's hard to explain, it was like I was saying it to myself, but it wasn't me. It's worn off by now, but I think it is making me insane. I don't want to stop taking it, but it is making me completely diffrent. Should I tell my parents? Should I stop taking it? my grades are better. Is it worth it? (link)
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It is quite obvious that this drug does not suit you at all and you should make it a matter of Urgency to tell your parents what it has caused to your stability.
I am quite sure that your parents will listen and seek further advice on your behalf because there must be alternative drugs which will allay your complaint without the effects which you have experienced
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