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Asshole Stepdad
I know alot of kids don't like their step parents but my step dad takes it to another level.
My younger sister (15) and I (17/f) have never liked him and he doesn't like us either. My mom knows that we don't like him but she thinks that he trys his hardest with us.
Well, I know what you're thinking, give him a break and you'll see that he really is trying.
I don't think so.
Last night my mom and him threw a party and my sister and I had to be there. When everyone was leaving around 3am, my mom had gone outside to say bye to everyone while my step dad, sister, and I stayed inside.
My sister and I were talking to each other about these guys we had met that night (my mom's friend’s sons). He was listening to our conversation and said, out of no where, "I don't know what boys would be interested in you two." He always says this stuff so I just told him to shut up and mind is own conversations (I know, disrespectful but it's hard to respect him).
We got into a little argument and he then told us how immature, bratty, spoiled, we are and how we think we're princesses. Jokingly, my sister told him that we were princesses, in our dad's eyes anyways. I guess that got him mad because then he went off talking about my dad and how he's the problem because he gives us what we want. He then said that if we didn't believe everything he was saying about us that we should ask our mom and grandparents on what they think about us.
After all of that, he told us about all this stuff that my dad did while he was still married to my mom like how he once slept with a hooker and how he was always at work and never home. Alot of unnecessary things that we didn't need to know and probably shouldn't have known, specially my sister.
I knew that my parents had troubles and things like that, why else would they have gotten a divorce? But who is he to tell us exactly what happened and what my dad did. I mean does he seriously think that we would turn against our dad or end up hating him or something? Or is he just jealous of him?
Like I said, I know my dad did some things (now I know exactly what) but so did my mom. But we still love him and he's great to us and is a good parent too.
After he went to sleep I went into my sister's room to get something from her and she had cried herself to sleep. When I saw that, I went to talk to my mom about what had happened because I usually just blow it off. When I told her, she didn't believe me about the names he called us and how he told us that she and my grandparents thought the same! And all she did about the part about my dad was say, "Well, at least you know the truth about your father now." She just talked about how we never once tried to be nice to him and he was trying his best. She didn't even care about the stuff he said about us or my dad.
We were nice to him before when him and my mom first started dating but he was still mean to us back then so we started being mean back. he always used to talk about my dad too.
I don't know what to do because it seems like no matter what she's always on his side. Plus he has no right talking about my mom and dad's relationship.
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awe hun .. i'm sorry. i feel for yah --
well.. here are some things you can do.
1- ignore your stepdad. & when he or your mom question you about it, just say "i'm not at liberty to talk to you[him]. You[he] offended me in ways that [you wouldn't believe] hurt me real bad."
2- tell your real dad. tell him you know what he did was bad, but you he's the best father anyone could ask for [if he is]
3- ask your grandparents. just be like "my step dad told me and my sister you think we're spoiled little brats .. do you?" that will piss your grandparents off, i'm sure. then they'll tell your mom & possibly yell at your stepdad.
just don't let it bother you, your mom will come around.
& the first time he abuses you, your sister, or your mom..call the abuse hot line. he's mean.
scum
well with that said, i wish you good luck
♥
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Okay seriously this guy is a fag. He has no right to say rude things to you or talk about YOUR father. I agree with the answers below me, get a recorder and catch him redhanded. But dont like tell him he is busted or something because then he might go to your Mom and say your making it yourself. Or not but dont take the chance, plus that would be immature. Or you could just have your Mom stand behind a corner when you think he is gonna start to say something. Basically set him up. And you need to stand up to him, tell him to back off. Which you are cause you said you told him to shut up. Dont take his crap. Anyway, good luck!
Ashley♥
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First of all, he has no right whatsoever to talk about your dad. what you have to realize is that your mum is always going to take this guys side, even if he's completely wrong, because thats what middle aged divorced women do when they find some new man to cling on to.
I'd love to tell you to scream at this guy and be a total brat, but that wont accomplish anything.
Just to start off, tell him in a respectful (hard, I know) way that you don't want him to talk about your dad in front of you. Be firm, but not whiny. Establish yourself as a person who has boundaries, and that is one of them.
Failing that, if he still talks about your dad when youre around, get up and leave. dont say anything, just get up and walk away.
Also, tell your mother that you need her support too, and that she isnt the only one having a rough time through all this. That you need her to understand that you dont want to hear about anything that your dad did wrong or that she did wrong because they're your parents, and you need to be able to respect both of them.
If all this dysfunction continues, you need to see a professional of some sort. A mediator, a psycologist, even the school councellor. Just talk to someone who can be kind of a third party for this issue. This is not the kind of environment you want to be growing up in, believe me, I KNOW. But get something done before it gets worse and he goes nuts and kicks you out of the house or something.
Alternately, go live with your dad. Both you and your sister. Get out of that negative environment at any cost.
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Definitely find a way to record him saying this, and talk to your dad about it. Your mother is in love and doesn't want to believe that he'd do that to her little girls. You're almost 18 so you'll be out soon, but I'd suggest trying to get it so that your sister can live with your dad. I think at her age she can legally choose which parent she wants to live with herself. That's just not a healthy environment to live out her teenage years in.
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go to a local store and buy a cheap memo recorder or something like that and just have it with you if you think there will be a problem between you and hit record and just keep it in your pocket or hidden somewhere but dont let him see it then later show your mom that tape and maybe she'll believe you
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tell him to like leave you alone. and if he dosen't kick him in the private and im sure he'll leave you alone.
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Asshole is an understatement. There are some people who are just rude. The only thing I can think of is to move out ASAP, and then get your sister out of that house. If he ever were to be abusive, your mom wouldn't listen to you, so it's important to get your sister out at the same time yo leave, and get her into your dad's house assuming it is safe. Tape your dad when he says these things, and you could even bring up charges for verbal and child abuse. I wish you the best of luck in your situation, and if you need any more advice, please don't hesitate to ask!
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wow that is waaayyyy out of line. my parents are still together so i dont know exatcly what youre going through so im just going to give you my opinion on what i got out of your question. it seems like you & your sister will never get along with your stepdad, ever. and i think that your mom will be on his side until you give her proof or she sees it for herself. she might have said those things about knowing the truth and your grandparents think the same but that is NOT something you tell your kid!!! just said what i felt, not really a whole lot to say, and maybe i didnt answer your question and sorry if i didnt.
XO KALIE
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first of all i know what your talking about because i have a aunt the same way she tells pepole that my dad try to have sex with her and my dad told her in front of my mother i will not f*ck a hoe and the only thing you can do is write this letter about him and put it in places for that asshole can see try to call him every name in the book bleave me it will and sing songs about him just make him mad as hell like i did my anut say something like you dont have kids so you say mean shit to us or did your dad play with you when you were younger and only when he piss you and your sister off
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Im sorry, i dont have a step parent. but i think i can help. :D
i think your step dad wants to get under your skin [if yanno what i mean] i think he wants to be apart of your life as well & not just the "step". [not to be disrespectful] but your mom might just want to not be lonely &try to make the relationship work at all costs. i really also don't think your grandparents/etc. think that way about you. hes trying to get into your head &make you get pissed off at him, which usually works. try to ignore him if he says something that might try to make you mad/upset. &if you do this it will probably make him mad/upset.
if there was a part of your question i missed, then please ask. im here. sometimes life isnt that great. :D
but i hoped this helped.
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♥ wow. that must be really hard.
♥ honestly, i don't even really know what to say to all of that except i am reallly really sorry you have to put up with that!
♥ you shouldn't have to though, so try talking to someone you really trust. I know it will help to get it off your chest.
♥ I'm so sorry. and I hope things get better.
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