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getting hurt .. again?
My last relationship didn't end well. My ex broke my heart and it was just horrible. Since then, I haven't had a boyfriend because I never let my feelings show and push any potential relationship away. I'm so scared of falling for someone and having them not catch me. A certain boy has come along and he's very interested in me. He says it's not fair I compare him to my ex and assume he's going to hurt me too. I can't help it though and I'm scared I'm going to push away this great guy, who I actually like. How do I let go of this fear and take a chance?
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
I think you need to take a chance,because you never know whats going to happen. No all guys are like the other guy before. Every guy is different in there own way. That's how you find the guy that is PERFECT for you.
Good Luck
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Don't. It's not worth it.
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To get rid of this fear, you just have to give it a chance. There are many people that have gone through this situation and everyone gets their heart broken at some point, It could be by a guy or girl or simply by seeing a sad movie or failing a test. I don't think that you should let your experience with your Ex get to you, there are many great guys out there and if you never give any of them a chance, then how are you going to find your True Love? It's fine to be fearful of dating because of past experiences, but you should just try to think of the better things that could come out of a new relationship than simply thinking of all the negative things that may come. Tears and Wallowing are things that we as humans cannot really overcome. Did you ever realize that Happiness makes you Cry? Yeah, well Just take advantage of the things that come your way and try to have the best experiences possible, if negative situations come your way, just look past them and you will be fine. I Hope I Helped.
Kori
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A good way to start is to not compare him to your ex. He's right it is unfair. You know the guy you like the guy, don't let something good get away.
♥angela
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you take things slowly. get to know this boy..dont rush into things..go out with him on a few dates..and just take things nice and slowww..he will understand and be patient.
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I understand how you feel. There are 2 different kinds of people theres the good people who stand by your side and are people to live laugh and love with and there are bad people who can be complete assholes. i think giving yourself time till you meet someone that diserves you hence one of the few good people. but like i said time will let your fear of pain go then when you feal very comfortable around a guy hopefully good things will happen. But then theres reality. a relationship will eventually come to an end and ive had to face that reality more than once. but you also got to look at it this way.all the time of happiness you would have would outweigh the short time of sadness you would have.
i hope i helped
SxExAxNx
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Wow, this sounds way too familiar for my comfort. I feel your pain in all seriousness.
I had a guy cheat on me, lie to me, and then lie to me about lying to me and cheating on me. Since then, I've been literally unable to trust any guy, even guys I end up in relationships with. I dated a guy for almost two years and never totally trusted him.
I'm with someone else now, and I've gotten to the point that I just don't care about relationship drama anymore, and I'm forcing myself to blindly trust him the way I used to trust everyone.
He's right in saying it isn't fair of you to compare the two of them, but I can understand that you can't help it.
You've gotta think, though. Use your brain, sweetheart. Not all guys are the same. If they were, how could anyone find someone they wanted to marry? There are quite a few happily married couples out there - my parents, for example, have been happily married for 30 years.
As my guy put it, "you could assume that he's just like all the other guys you've dated, and that he's not worth trusting, and over time you'd see that it wasn't the case. Or you could just accept the fact that he's different, and in time you'd see that you put your trust in the right person."
Believe me, I know it's easier said than done, but it's doable. It just takes willpower.
In your shoes, I think I would talk to this guy and tell him what you're feeling. Let him know you're afraid to be hurt again. Let him know you're afraid you'll push him away when you don't want to. If he knows you don't want to, he may be more willing to be more active in helping you overcome this fear.
There's unfortunately no easy way to do this. You're gonna have to do a lot of talking to yourself, and to him. Your best bet is to include him in what's going on in your mind (if you haven't already), and maybe just take a chance and jump into it...just take it the speed you want to. This is your issue to work through, and depending on the kind of guy he is, he may be able to help you work through it.
If you wanna vent/stress/babble to someone, really, I know how you feel. My AIM screen name's SirenCytherea - I'm almost always on line.
I hope this helps, and good luck!
-Siren =)
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