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i thought my real dad was in prison but the other day this man came to the door saying he was my dad had my birth certificate and everything im just confuse he said do i want to come out with him to get to know each other. But why has he waited al dis time to come see me im 16 now so do u think i should go and wat would i say to him
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this is a hard one but i can try and help you.. first off ask your mom about it ask her why she didnt tell you the truth .. or maybe she did maybe he just got out of prison and you were the first person he thought of.. you never know maybe you were the one thing keeping him going all this time... or .. there is the other possibility that he just hasnt tried to contact you untill now.. there could be many reasons for this he could have been scared or maybe your mom has somethign to do with it not making any accusations or any thing) or maybe he had one of those "life altering" moments wher he realized that he messed up and he needs to fix everything .. you never know.. i say varify everything with your mother or guardian or whatever and go try and get to know him.. but go someplace public so that nothing bad could happen, not saying it would, im just takiung procautions cause there is those cases where parents come out of no where and abduct their children and stuff so yea...but try and talk it out try and get to know him a little better ask him why he never tried to contact you before now and anything else u could possibly want to know... you never know what could happen... if it is your real father and hes trying to get to knwo you and be a better father then dont pass this up cause i knwo my dads an alcoholic and he messes up all the time and never ries to make things better so you never know.. this could be the breakthrough youve been waiting for...
Hope i helped...
***Kayla...
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Well, I think maybe you should at least give him a chance he might turn out to be a nice guy, although he has waited this long to come see you at least he did and he wants to get to know you. IF i were you i would go out with him to get to know each other! Hope i helped
<3 steph
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ask your mom about it. if he really is try going out to get to know him. you could even ask him y he hasnt come 2 see you.
hope i helped.
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DONT GO ANYWHERE WITH HIM UNLESS YOU HAVE ANOTHER TRUSTED ADULT OR A FRIEND OR TWO WITH YOU. I don't mean to sound paranoid but you really should take a few precautions because you never know. So bring a few friends or at least 1 trusted adult that you know and maybe go out to lunch somewhere public and then go back home. If you anything feels wrong in your gut leave or stop talking with this guy. Seriously please take some precautions if you go.
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DONT GO ANYWHERE WITH HIM UNLESS YOU HAVE ANOTHER TRUSTED ADULT OR A FRIEND OR TWO WITH YOU. I don't mean to sound paranoid but you really should take a few precautions because you never know. So bring a few friends or at least 1 trusted adult that you know and maybe go out to lunch somewhere public and then go back home. If you anything feels wrong in your gut leave or stop talking with this guy. Seriously please take some precautions if you go.
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Hi there,
Wow! I bet that came as a bit of a shock!
The best advice I can offer you is to arrange a time and a place that you feel comfortable in and meet him.
That's if you want to. I imagine you must be feeling pretty confused about the whole thing.
I personally would meet him and ask all the questions that were going round inside my head as only he will be able to answer them.
Whatever you decide to do, whether you meet him adn want to start some sort of relationship with him , or meet him and then decide not to see him again or not meet him at all and have no contact, the choice is YOURS and no one elses. Don't feel pressurised by him or anyone else to do anything you don't want to.
Do what you want to do when you feel ready to do it!
Hope all goes the way you want it too.
Take Care!
Mel xx
(Please make sure that if you decide to meet him you tell someone what time you are going and when you will be back)
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DON'T GO ANYWHERE WITH HIM ALONE! Don't even talk to him unless you have another adult with you. He could be a really bad person and not your father at all. It could be a fake birth certificate. Don't trust him until you can talk to your mother. Meeting with him is okay just as long as you have another adult with you. Don't give him any personal information about yourself. Maybe he is your father, but there's a chance that he isn't and you don't want to get hurt!!! I hope everything works out okay and good luck.
EDIT: One more thing...if your dad was in prison what was it for? Even if it IS your father he could still be a very bad person with very bad intentions for you. Please be careful!
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Sounds like you need to talk to the adult you live with about this. Don't ever go anywhere with anyone you don't know for your own safety. Meet with him with your current guardian to make sure this is true. Then you can decide if you want to get to know this man or not. DNA testing is a way to determine if he is your father and he should pay for it. I would also want an explanation of where he has been all this time and why he didn't try to help with your support before. He needs to now.
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find some family/ Family friend who knows what your father looks like.
He may have birth certificate but He may not be your father?
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If I were you, I wouldn't talk to this strange man until you talk to your mother. I know she isn't around much, but don't talk to this guy alone. Ever. But if this guy is really your father, you have to get your mom, a friend's parent, and get to know him. Make sure you inform your mom that your "father" came.
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Maybe your this man only found out recently that you were his child. Or maybe after all these years he is trying to do the right thing. If you do go meet him try to go with an adult. Since your mom isn't around maybe you could ask a friends mom to go with you to meet him, that way you will be safe if he turns out to be creepy or not your father at all. Ask him why he waited so long to find you and what he does...and let him ask you questions too...16 years is a lot of time to catch up on =]
Love
Kate
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This is your decision.. If you trust him enough to go out with him and you want to know your father then thats your decision.. But if you aren`t comfortable going somewhere with him get like you mom or a family member to go with you.. I would go get to know him but thats just the kind of person i am.. So i could ask why he just now is walking into my life and what ever else was on my mind.. ♥ Dez
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honestly i dont know but i wouldnt go anywhere with him until you get to know him and ask your mom for advice too because i wouldnt trust anybody who has been in prison
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