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Completely selfish?
My boyfriend was sick previously for a couple of days. One of the nights that he was really sick I happened to be with him. I didn't leave him all night, I was constantly making sure he was okay and if he needed anything. He told me he appreciated this a lot. The downside of me being with him that night is that he got me sick too. So, all day today I've been pretty sick. You could see it in my eyes how horrible I felt. He commented on that a few times throughout the day. I constantly told him I felt pretty bad. He said sorry. Tonight I called, told him I was feeling very sick. He was watching T.V and was kind of ignoring me, so I just told him I'd call him back with an 'I guess' at the end- hinting how I wanted him to stay. He didn't.
It kind of bothers me how I was waiting on him hand and foot and not letting it bother me that I was practically a butler for him for a night, but he couldn't do a simple thing such as stay on the phone and comfort me.
Is this selfish of me to want comfort and attention from him?
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Nah, it's not selfish at all. I know how you feel. If my boyfriend was sick, and I waited on him, hand and foot, for a whole night, then I got sick, I'd definitely want him to TALK to me!
TV does scary things to people though. [That's why I rarely watch it.]
You could always ask him to turn off the TV and record his show -- and talk to you. I would do that if my boyfriend were watching TV while on the phone with me.
My boyfriend and I are pretty close. Okay, he's my best friend. He can read me like a book. Whenever I don't feel good, or if something's bothering me, he can always tell. He might not know what is bothering me, but he knows something is wrong. I love that about my relationship with him - he's always supportive and right there beside me.
You should ask your boyfriend, next time you see/talk to him, to turn off the TV and spend time with you. It's only fair.
-FunnyCide
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Definately not.You waited on him hand on foot.He should be proud of you,but don't let this get in the way in your relationship.Tv does distract people alot but he shouldn't have ignored you so just get better and make sure that he sees that he hurt you.
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No, you're not being selfish. You are right to expect him to help you out in your time of need, especially when you did the same for him.
But here is the little problem that you probably have figured out already (if you haven't, you will soon), guys aren't as smart as we want to think they are.
Guys aren't girls. They're insensitive prats sometimes and unless we -tell- them that they're putting their hand into a boiling pot of water, they'll be thinking it's the cookie jar.
It's just the way that they work. I know it sounds hard to actually go up to him and be like, "Hey, I need you to be here for me right now..." but honestly, it's a lot easier than having it build up inside you. You should be upfront with him. In my experience, guys don't -get- hints. You just need to lay it out for them.
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First of all it is not selfish of you to expect a little loving care when you need it. The problem here is, and this is very unfortunate, but men just don't nurture us in our time of need as we do them. As a matter of fact a lot of men will disappear when you are sick. They just want no part of it. The unfortunate fact is they learned this behavior. Think about it. When they were sick growing up their mother hovered around and took care of them. Their father, on the other hand, was nowhere to be found. Where was your father while you and your siblings (if you had any) were sick when you were young? I bet he was anywhere but helping your mother take care of you. You can try to get him to be more helpful to you. Don’t get angry with him for this will only drive him away. If you can get him to bring you a bowl of soup be very grateful for it. Ask him sweetly if he can do this or that for you. Never use the argument that you helped him when he was sick so he should be willing to help you. You will get nothing from him at that point. People hate it when someone uses their good deeds to elicit something out of them. It nullifies the good deeds that you have done. Be patient with him. You can slowly wake him up to your needs.
Good Luck!
LULABELLE
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I think you are justified. Relationships are SUPPOSED to be reciprocal. Significant others can be pretty selfish.
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Okay this one will hard to wrap your head around so read it twice. Guys are BIG sucks when sick and want people to mother them. Their mom's did it for them and now they think you ought to. It's okay if you help and he was really sick but if they are not doing it back for you then stop. What goes around comes around.
I hate to say it but when it comes to being sick guys want their mom deep down. When they cannot have that they want a girlfriend to coddle them and make it better. Unless he gives this back to you then do not always come to his aid. He's a big boy and you are a big girl who can handle themselves when sick.
With guys we are also idiots sometimes and forget the girlfriend helping us is not something that is static and can go away. We better show appreciation but some of us idiots do not considering where our brains are located ;) So, if he does not want to help sigh and accept you cannot change him. And also be firm on never rushing to his aid when sick unless he's dying or hospitalized. He'll get it then.
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You are not selfish at all, girls like to be comforted and all the attention they get. But, you have got to remember guys like their space also. I do not know your boyfriends ways but some guys only like to comfort and cuddle when they get sex afterwards. but you are not at all selfish, your a girl.
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This is your boyfriend being pretty selfish. I know you aren't selfish, you stayed with him when he was sick, it's ok to be upset because hes not doing the same. But, think about it, not only did he get you sick, but he wouldn't even stay on the phone, or even say comforting things at all. I know you mentioned that, but I just want you to know that he is being the selfish one. I know this sounds hard, but maybe you should call him and tell him that you need him, because you just don't feel good, you could do that, or just tell him that you feel confused about this and explain your feelings. But, thats the only way yo can get to the bottom of it, tell him how you feel, if you just want to forget about this and try again, tell him you need him. You are a really good girlfriend for what you did for him. You deserve the same.
-TheTeenGirl
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