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I feel bad
Hi,
My name is Todd, I'm an only child, and I am 15 and in High School. I have a really good friendship with this girl who has some problems. We're not really dating, but she's a really nice person and she's very kind, however she's depressed quite a lot.
I found out that she cuts herself since I saw cuts on her arms, and when some people asked she said it was nothing. I knew something wasn't right since she's never usually been cut like that. I didn't want to tell her that I think she's cutting herself, since I don't want to make her feel worse, but I just wish I could do something to make her feel better.
I always listen to what she has to say (although it's not much [as she says]), and I always try to do great things for her like get her gifts and make her feel better.
I know, from what she told me, her family has issues since she isn't really given much attention. It's not that her parents are mean, it's just that they don't really care about her. She also has two older sisters (who have children also) and one younger sister, so things get hectic over there, from what I know. Her two older sisters occasionally come up once a week or so, and she is left to babysit her nephews and niece.
I always try to let her know that I care about her 24/7. I'm going to invite her over to my house this weekend since she's been to my place before and my parents are happy to see her. Plus, it's a lot quieter. :-)
I know I can't "give" her my family, but I want to do as much as I possibly can to make her feel better and less depressed.
I'm concerned because I don't want her to commit suicide, since that would kill me. ;-(
If you have any advice or solutions you can give me, PLEASE TELL ME.
One of my ideas was that if her family doesn't do anything for Thanksgiving, I was thinking of having her over for Thanksgiving, since my parents won't really be doing anything since my immediate family moved away.
Thank you very much! :-)
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Just keep doing what your doing.For her family there's not really much you can do.Comfort her as much as you can.Cutting can lead to much worse things.She could accidently cut too deep.Don't give her too many chances to cut.
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Whenever she comes over to your house this weekend I would just talk to her about it. Just tell her you care about her deeply and you don't want her to kill herself, let alone hurt herself. Explain to her that nobody should kill themselves that she's needed on Earth and there's people out there who love her, like yourself. Alls she would be doing by killing herself is hurting people =/ and explain to herself that whenever she doesn't want to be at her house or near her family, that she can always come to your house and you'll always be there to talk to her and comfort her whenever she needs it. What she probably needs right now most is comfort and to be able to let all her feelings out and everything. And about the cutting, explain to her that no good comes of that either. Hurting yourself doesn't solve anything, it really only creates more problems for her. There's other solutions to releasing anger. Blast music, smack around a pillow, hit a wall, talk to a friend ( you ) .. anything other than cutting yourself. You are such a wonderful nice person for being there for her like this and I hope everything works out for her and she becomes so much happier =] god bless and i hope I helped!
Love,
MELii
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it seems like you like her a lot and i think it would mean a lot to her if you started to date. I mean like it would make her feel like at least one person REALLY does care about her. Also i think the thanksgiving idea is great. I really think you should start dating and if she wants sex give it to her you sound nice and i am sure all she needs is to know someone cares about her a lot
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Hi hunny,
You are such a sweetheart! Ok sweetie, first of all I think you are doing a great thing to help her out, but if she's cutting herself you really need to talk to someone else, like a school councelor or her parents. She does not have to know if you were the one who told someone. She really needs help and more than what you are giving her. If she means enough to you, you should really do it before she does something worse like suicide, and then you'd be left with guilt knowing that you never got her help. Please take my help! Good Luck and you really are a great friend to her. x3
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You seem to be handling the situation very well, and don't seem to need any advice.
As a side note, I'll say that the situation you are in is a bit odd, seeing as I was recently in an extremely similar one last year. I even invited her over for Thanksgiving, too.
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I'm afraid when someone cuts they have problems you may not be able to help with.
I do have a website you can check into. It is for friends of people who cut. Maybe it can help you figure out how to handle things.
Hope it helps :)
How can I Help A Friend Who Cuts?
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
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Hi. Um, forgive me for saying this, but experience says that you should let an adult know. Someone you trust. Because if she DOES manage to kill herself, or becomes seriously injured... you're going to blame yourself.
Other than that, I think what you're doing now- showing you care in spite of what she does- is the right way to go. Have a wonderful thanksgiving!
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I feel really bad and I will tell you how I would do it in this situation. Well dont be afrade to tell her you care and think shes cutting. Maybe it will make her think at least one person in this world cares about her. Yeah you should invite her over for Thanksgiving and then have her spend the night ask her how and why she is doing this. Get info and tell me how it goes ok Good Luck to the both of you and I hope I helped.
BeautyBaby800
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Having her over for thanksgiving is a great idea. There is nothing you can do but confront her. Listen i know you dont want to accuse her of doing something like that but if you dont do something she is going to continue to do it. And if she gets into the habit of doing something like that she wont be able to give it as easily. She may end up doing worse to herself if you dont speak up. When she becomes 18 she can move out and get away from her family b/c it seems to me that they are the problem and not the solution. The best thing for you to do is to support her and not push her but try and help her get through with what she is going through.
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Just tell herthat you'll always be there for her and that you'll do anything for her that should help.
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Talk to her about it and make sure she knows that you care about her and that you really want her to stop doing this because if she dosn't no that then she might not get the feeling that your trying to help her by just inviting her to your house which is still a nice thing to do !! I hope everything works out ok
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