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My sister's boyfriend...
Hi. I'm 13/m and my sister is 14/f. Last night she was IMing a friend from another state who said he wanted to have sex with his girlfriend. Then they got into a discussion on why it's right or wrong to have sex before age 16. My sister believes that she should wait until she is 16. I belief any pre-marital sex is wrong, and I refuse to lose my virginity until I am married.
Later in their conversation (I was being a little brother and looking over her shoulder) he said that my sister's boyfriend wants sex too. My sister said no, but the other guy was just like "ooooooo yes he does". Then I remembered that theory that all a guy ever wants is sex. Hence, the song Punk Rock 101 by Bowling For Soup: "She thinks that it's love, but to him, it's sex!"
I don't trust her boyfriend. I've transferred a call to my sister, and he really didn't sound all that great. Also, my sister refuses to let me meet him in any way. He can't come over, because I just can't meet him. I tried to IM him. My sister told him to block me. What the hell?
I'm afraid of two things: number one, does he want sex? Saying no is probably harder than it sounds... and number two, will this change her image of him? Will she be consious of the fact that he may or may not want sex? I know if I were in her shoes, I would. I don't know... I'm just worried for her...
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aw how sweet you care so much for your sister. sorry i had to say it...=D well trust me you will want to have sex before you get married...it's just a phase and dont base any real life things on a song...and if you are that worried talk to your parents and i'm sure your sister will be mad at you but will later realize you just care for her and dont want to see her hurt
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1) of course he does what guy doesnt
2) she might not like him as much anymore for think about that about her, orrrrr it would make her feel sexy and start to dress sluty around him, teas him, and lead him on
hope i help, please rate
xXSexyLadyXx
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just let her make her own mind up i no u care for her but every one needs to make there own mistakes or they dont learn she might sayin no is hard to say when it comes to sex but if she has said it once then she will keep saying it till she i ready my brother is like u but i would not listen i like to learn from my mistakes not from everyone elses i wont lsten to anyone. dont worry too much
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#1) Yes.
#2) Maybe. She will either think less of him and they won't have sex, or she will cave in and change her mind.
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Maybe u should talk to your sister tell what you have to say if she does not care then just hope she makes the right descion and i agree with you having pre-marital sex is worng.
hoped i helped
XoXo Ashla Lyn
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It's your sister's life. Since it is her life, she is going to do what she wants weather you say she should or shouldn't. i no you care ,, try to tell her what you think.
hope i helped
x0o natalie
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ok im really confused and i dont want to mess up and have you do something wrong but i really want to compliment you on your maturity. for 13, or even 15 at that, you are very mature. i wish you were my little brother. <3
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Are you sure youre only 13??
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ok the thing is you should be worried for her but if she decides to have sex then that will be her mistake so i would say back off
the thing i am 14/f but i don't want to have sex yet but I am not going to wait until I am married and I don't think you will because thats what all dudes say until they get drunk at a party or just meet a real cool girl
the thing is just keep a look out and if you think it is going to fast then talk to her it might seem a little weird but she will remeber the talk and not have sex until she is really ready
I am in 8th grade and over half the kids in my grade have already had sex
I hope I helped
From Jessica
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I feel for you. This is a toughie. It isn't your responsibility to worry about your sister and what decisions she may make. It is her life and she needs to make her own choices whether or not they are right or wrong. I know it’s tough to sit by and watch someone do something you don’t think is good for them. The key here is that this is simply your opinion. You don’t know what is going to happen. Yes, young men are always ready for sex. That does not mean that they will follow through with it. Your sister’s boyfriend probably does want to have sex. Again, that does not mean he will actually do anything about it. He probably has shared with his friends that he’d like to do this or that to your sister. When guys get together those are the types of things they talk about. He’s attracted to your sister, that’s why they are together. It doesn’t mean he will act on it. It could be just talk. I have learned through experience that when someone nags another continually about something it is that something that the person will go and do. Have you never done something that your parents didn’t want you to do because you didn’t get what all the fuss was about and you wanted see for yourself what it was all about? Well, you could be putting your sister in this same type of situation. She may start feeling sorry for him because he is being falsely accused and then out of these feelings do something she may regret later. Back off a little. You’ve let her know how you feel. Stop trying to speak to her boyfriend. That would really be out of place. He may not have sounded that great over the phone because he thinks you already don’t like him. Your sister probably told him what the two of you have been talking about. I agree with you. I think 16 is too young to have sex. I admire you for your convictions to wait until you are married. I hope it works out for you this way. It will make the experience all together exceptional and you won’t regret it. This is what you do have control over, yourself. I’m not telling you to stop expressing your opinions. Your entitled to them and it is important for you to get your thoughts out. I’m just saying that you shouldn’t do it in an accusatory manner. Watch the infection in your voice. Sometimes when we say something people don’t hear what we say, they hear how we say it. That’s why people might get mad at something said when the words alone are nothing to be angry about. They are hearing how it was put. They’ll start thinking you meant one thing when you had a totally different meaning. People hear what they want to hear and the infection in the voice is very important. Approach your sister differently on this subject. Begin by letting her know how much you love her and only want the best for her. Don’t approach her in a heated manner. If she asks you to back off, respect that. She’s entitled. Don’t pursue the boyfriend anymore. It really is up to your sister what happens. He can try all he wants but, if your sister says no, it’s no. Most guys will try something and that in itself doesn’t make them bad. It’s how they react to no that matters. If they stick with you even though you say no, they are worth sticking with. If they break up with someone after a no, they are not someone that you would want to be with anyway.
I hope I was helpful,
LULABELLE
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I'm a younger sibling too. I hear about some similar stuff as well. Due to it is you sisters life, you should let it go. It seems to me that she knows that she wants to wait. It is illegal though to have sex before the age of like 16. So, I would only get involved if your sister's boyfreind is hurting her in any way... emotionally or physically. I don't think that will happen though. Maybe you could say to her yeah I read it's illegal to have sex before 16 and maybe she will think yeah I should hold off. This is a tough situation. It seems like her boyfreind isn't too great either... I would want to meet my boyfreind's siblings... so all in all stay out of this so far unless it gets really serious. If you have any more questions just write them to me, xomarisox.
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Dear MY Sister's Boyfriend,
BeautifulMadness is right. Don't become the over bearing brother. Give her the privacy he needs. If you want to get to know her boyfriend better, promise her that you will not interfere with their relationship! Let her know that you just want what's best for her and if she ever needs anything that you will be there for her. If she decides to have sex, that is her business, not yours. The only thing you can do is voice your concerns and then let it go. She will either come to you or she won't. Either way, honesty is the best policy. She will appreciate you more if you just be there for her, no matter what she does in her life. GOOD LUCK
Sincerely,
Honestymatters
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Heya,
First of all, although most guys DO tend to want sex, they aren't all immature and nasty enough to push for it, especially not from a 14 year old girl. How old is the guy? If he is over 16, he CAN'T ask her to have sex because even if she consents, he could go to jail for two years for statutory rape.
You can still email this guy if you really want to talk to him...
As he blocked you when your sister said, too, I think he sounds like he pretty much does what she wants! That means if she says no to sex he'll most likely listen.
Your sister's friend was probably just kidding around with her. If he is from another state then does he even know this boyfriend personally? And the fact that your sister is adamant she WON'T have sex before 16, even in front of her friends, is great. It means she really believes it and is likely to stand by it.
Finally, you are lovely for wanting to look out for her like this but please don't become the over-protective brother who she'll hate. If you play your cards right, she might even come to you for advice if he does ask her to sleep with him. I think the reason she is banning contact between you and her boyfriend is because she's scared you'll play the over-protective brother routine. Tell her you want to talk him, or to be his friend, NOT to spy on their relationship (you could even say you want to compare xmas gift ideas for her or something - she's a girl, she'll swallow it lmao).
Good luck!
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