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i cant stand living here!!
13/f
ive lived with my grandparents for 13 years and just a few months ago i moved in with my mom and her boyfriend. i REALLY miss living with my grandparents and i feel like my moms trying to take me away from them. sometimes ill ask my mom if i can stay the night with my grandparents and she says no. we fight and argue every single night and im so sick and tired of it. i cry myself to sleep everynight because of her and her boyfriend. her b/f is so rude to me too. i try to talk to her about this but every time i try we get in another argument. i talk to my grandparents about it and they undersatnd but they dont know what to do. i just cant stand living with my mom and her boyfriend. if anyone can tell me what i can do besides talk to my mom please help me.
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ok this might not be that big of a help but...
write her a note, giving 15 or whatever # you can come up with of reasons why you should go back to your grandparents. you cant get in a fight if its a note. also ask her questions about why you arnt alowed to spend the night at your grandparents' house. tell her in the note that you feel negleted when ever your sister is around. or maby you guys could go to a place where you know your mother wont raise her voice, like a restaurant, but if it is in writing your mom might take the time to try and understand what you are saying. dont critisise her or her boyfriend, whatever you do or she will get angry and might either stop reading it or read it carlessly. it should work good luck hope i helped
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You are 13 years old, that is old enough for any court to listen to you and place you where you want to live. If your mother's boyfriend is creating a hostile environment for you then make a record of it. Whenever there is a fight, and he is out of line, write it down, keep a diary. DO NOT LET ANYONE KNOW ABOUT THE DIARY. Anything you write down needs to be the truth, never lie, it will ruin your chances for the court to believe you. Your diary can admitted into court as evidence. You need to try proving that your mom is putting her boyfriends needs before yours. This will show neglect Please be careful not to instigate anything. What state is the house in, messy, neat? Does your mom do drugs? Does she leave them laying around? When you have recorded a couple of months worth of fights take a walk to the family court. Tell them you need public representation to protect you from your mother, use the words PRO BONO (Boe-know) That means FREE.
Your grandparents can go with you and testify to the conversation that you have when you call them crying about how you are being treated. How does your sister feel bout your mom? Since she gets all the attention she may like your mom and it would be a mistake to talk to her about anything you plan on doing. Eight year olds tend to tell on everyone. Keep your diary and your intentions secret. Go on with your daily life like you are now. Just keep track of everything. If you can get photos of the way your mom keeps house or if she leaves dangerous things lying around, or if there is any physical abuse on her part or her boyfriends part. You have to prove beyond reasonable doubt that you are in danger of physical or mental abuse. You have to prove that living there will bring you harm.
Unfortunately, if you cannot prove any of this then you will have to go another route. You say that your grandparents have raised you, right? Why did your grandparents raise you? What made your mom absent? Maybe whatever it is, she is still doing it. You could try and say taking you from the people that raised you is emotionally crippling and you are depressed. I hope that my advice is useful, just remember, NEVER LIE or try to plant fake evidence, this will only make it worse for you. Keep me posted, I am here anytime you need me. GOOD LUCK.
Sincerely,
Honestymatters
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get a court order to go back with your grandparents , you could get a divorce from your mom and be with your grandparents .
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I know what that is like but you always have a choice in who you want to live with. If you grandparents fight for you in court then your grandparnets can get full custody of both of you. You can testify and say who you want to live with. Even though your not 18 they will still listen to what you have to say. I was five when my parents got divorced and they asked me and they based the decision on hat me and my older brother said. I know that it is hard to talk to your mother without getting into a fight but maybe you tryed to talk to her but if she starts yelling tell her you dont want to fight. But the best solution is court.
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aww poor girl =( that's sad...well if her BF is so rlly rude to him you can place a stick in front of it...make him angry at you... very angry let him do something to you i dont know if you know but hurting children when you are older is forbidden...so go to police if you have been hurt...otherwise push him around and ur mom?tell her why not?i wanna go sleep with grandparents!if you rlly fight tell her one day : i hate you!and shell understand.(never did my parents but that would hurt alot)
take care girl
good luck
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She is your mom. What she may be trying to do now is be your mom. Just with one small problem,
you are used to your grandparents. I do not know anything else about your situation, so I am just assuming by your age and how long you have lived with your grandparents, that your mom was not a large influence on your life until now. If that is the case, it is probably a very large case of culture shock. All of a sudden you are thrust into a new house with a new mom and new rules.
At the same time, she (assuming she has no other children) just got a brand new 13/f housemate. Someone she is now responsible for and at an age where clashes come out the most. Her and your grandparents probably do not have the same parenting style. Clashes happen when new rules are trying to be enforced and there is no real mother/daughter bond.
The boyfriend thing does bother me. As your mother she needs to have boundries for her boyfriend when it comes to you. His rudness toward you should not be tolerated by her PERIOD.
Try talking to her when he is not around. Calmly if you can explain to her that his actions upset you since you are brand new there and probably have done nothing to insight such nastiness. Then tell her that you do miss your grandparents. You lived with them for 13 years. They were your main support and what you knew growing up and to not be able to see them will be very hard on you emotionally. Ask her how she would feel if the she wasn't able to see the people who loved her and raised her for 13 years.
Appeal to her reason. The more you can talk to her as a calm adult with valid points, the harder it will be for her to dismiss you. Also try to let her know that seeing your grandparents is not a threat to her. You have to be open to finding a common ground to make living with her a good situation for the both of you. If you need anything else....you know where to find me.
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If you could come up with a good reason, your grandparents could petition the courts for custody of you.
You don't say why you spent so much time with the grandparents to begin with, but since they have already taken care of you in the past, it should be easy enough if you have a good enough reason to want to do that. :)
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