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pot/cutting/suicide
I'm not sure exactly what I should or even can do for my cousin. I'm 19/f and he's 17/m and we were really close growing up, almost like brother and sister. I knew a while ago that he smoked pot and I've been telling him to stop and everything, but I had no idea how bad it really was. Last night we had a really long conversation online (we live 4 hours away now) and I guess he smokes enough to get "the shakes" after 2 days of not having any. I had no idea he smoked that much, I thought he only did it every so often. He also told me that he cuts and that he's attempted suicide on and off since he was FIVE YEARS OLD! I don't think that he would really go through with it, but it's so scary to know that he's thinking that seriously about it. He started smoking really heavily when he broke up with his girlfriend. She cheated on him and then dumped him because he didn't trust her anymore. He says that pot is all that is keeping him alive since then. His parents divorced when he was really young and his father has been married two times since and is now going through his third divorce. My cousin lives with his mother and her second husband which have a very bad influence on him. They live a really horrible lifestyle and abuse him by giving their own children more priviledges, making him babysit, and not allowing him to have certain things around the house like soda or peanut butter. He's been through a lot of relationships, some since the girl I mentioned before and he's far from a virgin. Our family has treated him like crap since he was born and they have such high expectations for him especially because he's the fourth of his name. They all love him though, especially me and I hate to see this happening to him. I'm really glad that he was honest with me, but I'm so worried about him. What can I do to help him? I've talked to him and tried to encourage him and I don't know if it's working. I hate to see this happen to someone I care so much about. Any advice at all would be wonderful. Sorry it's so long.
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take him to church with you and have him become close with god..that may not sound like alot but it will help
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Well first of all this might be so hard for you and you dont want to do it but you know you have to tell an adult or even get the police involved with this this is serious and devastating trust me he will thannk you. Also ask your parents if you could skip a couple days of school to go visit him and see how he is i am sure that if you tell you parents what is going on then they will approve. Also just talk to your cousin everyday on the phone and mabye send him things like candy or something to cheer him up. I hope he is ok and i hope everything works out. If you need anymore information or you need to ask me a question feel free to ask one i always check my inbox. hope i can help. >3
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I have been in your cousins situation. I did drugs worse then pot, cut myself everyday for almost 2 years and tried committing suicide many times. Life's not easy and people handle it in many different ways. You said he gets the "shakes", it's withdrawl symptoms and they don't go away. But it does mean he smokes pot atleast 8 times a day. I am not going to say that I am an expert on this because I have experienced it, but I do know a lot. There really isn't a lot that you can do for him, except try to get him into a program or to tell someone else close to him, so they can confront him about it. But he MUST be confronted, or he won't think anyone cares - and you obviously care. As for his living conditions, it doesn't sound like tey help his situation.. it fuels him more to stay alone and smoke. The last thing you want to do is have him left alone. I don't know what your family's financial situation is but I want to a rehab center in Malibu and it's called "Malibu Horizon" and it's a great place. They help addicts and thier families. They helped me and I have been clean and sober since March 27, 2003.. You should look into it for your cousin, it will do him a world of good - even if he doesn't think so at first..
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This is also happening with my cousin. I know you want to do something to help, but he needs to relized himself that what hes doing is hurting you. Try to understand what hes going through, and show him that you do know what hes going through. My cousin smokes, drinks, cuts herself, shes tryed so many times to kill herself. Shes in different relationships, and shes also nasty when it comes to sex. I told her to stop, shes not going to stop smoking pot, shes not going to stop having sex, but she did listen to me and hasn't cut herself in a very very long time. Just tell him that if he was to kill himself, he would hurt you also. Try to be with him as much as possible even if you have to take 5 buses to get to him. Maybe spend the weekends with him, do as much as possible. Just show him you care and you love him, and maybe he wont stop everything, but he'll stop cutting and trying to kill himself. I hope I helped.
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yea i understand the parents some parents are just to immature to have children to begin with but try and confort him and tell him how it makes u feel when he says that i always wished i could when uncle passed tell him its not worth killing himself over life is what you make of it if he wants this problem fixed he needs to get out get a job and move out i did and im fine now i couldent be happyer after 5 years of depression and my father beating me maybe he just needs time to think about whats hes doing tell him how you would feel if he killed himself that might make him think about it less
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I'd say for now try and get him some professional help. Once he turns 18, if it's financially possible, get him away from there and on his own. Just make sure you're always there for him. Let him vent and open up when he needs to. Keeping shit like that in when he's in such mental pain is bad.
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I can't imagine the amount of weed you'd have to smoke to get the shakes.
You sure he doesn't drink or is in to a different drug? You better stay after him about that because I'm not sure you have the whole story yet.
The best thing he can do right now is get into a detox and rehab program. If the parents don't see whats happening or would just be in denial, find another adult to let know what is going on.
You being 19 could probably take him to any emergency room and they could get him in a program. Doctors office, whatever. He needs more help than you can give him on your own.
Good luck :)
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