|
Did I Do The Right Thing?
ok, i am an 18 year old female and my boyfreind is 22 years old. we live a ways apart (him new york me ohio) because i was forced to move. well, we have been living apart for about a month and a half and we can't take it anymore. but we can't decide wether we should have me move up there with him or have him move down here with me. at first we had sorta planned me going and living with him. but then my mom found out that she might have a tumor on her ovaries, tubes, or liver. She doesnt want me to leave because she needs me and my brother will too. (in situations where there is trouble, my brother looks up to me, if im doing ok he will be fine and he knows that). So my mom asked me to ask him to move here so that we coudl both support her and each other. (my mom likes him) but then i owuld be asking him to uproot his life. from the place he lived for 20 years. from his family and his freinds and everything he knows. so i asked him if he would be WILLING to do so. He told me "Whatever i have to do to be with you". But now i feel like i am being selfish in asking him to do that. did i do the right thing in asking him to move here? please help i will rate all good answers as 5's. any smartass comments dont get rated!
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Yes i believe you did the right thing. My grandma had brain tumors and my mom went every week to go take care of her even though we e=were 4 hrs. apart. My mom says that taking care of your mother at her last moment is the best memory you could ever happen. If went and moved with him you would look back and regret it. His family does not have the serious illness. I know that you may think that you are being selfish but sometimes in these kinds of situations you have to be a little selfish and i am starting to understand that now.
]
1st of all i think its really cool that your mom likes him even though he is older that you! I wish my mom was that cool!
2nd of all i think you really need to be there for your mom and brother and i dont think its selfish to ask your bf to move to Ohio bc he seems to not mind (by what you have writen) bc it looks to me like he really loves you and if he dose even if you didnt ask him to move there he probably would have anyways. So I think that its not selfish.
Hope I helped!
GoodAdvice12345
]
I think it's important that you get to spend time with your mother and support her, becosue she might be gone tommorow. It kind of makes me sad, becosue you can lose her. So if I were you I'd spend those days with your mother till you'll know for sure she's well. It would be wrong of you to go up to him.... becouse well there's your mother and your family which needs you. And if he loves you alot he'll come down, and wont' even regret it. He'll be happy just to see you, so dont' worry.... And you should talk to him for comfort, it always helps.
]
Yes, you did the right thing for your situation. Your mother needs your support right now, and leaving her, especially after she has taken care of you all your life, when she is needs you the most would be the -wrong- thing to do. Your boyfriend probably realizes it, his comment might have just came out wrong ("Whatever I have to do to be with you.") If you are really concerned about this, ask him. What's the worse that can happen? Even if he says that he is a little hesitant about moving, at least he is being honest with you (which is important, in my opinion).
]
I think you did the right thing. It is important you be with your family right now.
If you want to you can tell him you will be willing to move where he is as soon as all is well again at home. If he still wants to come to you then it may make you feel better about it.
I think he just wants to be with you. He is willing to move so let him and don't feel guilty about it. :)
]
In my opinion, you aren't being selfish at all. I'm sure he understands!! It is a good thing you want to stick with your family(not selfish!) ...Your boyfriend is incredible if he is willing to move to be with you. I hope your mom is okay.
]
Don't feel guilty. Obviously if he is willing to move away from everything he knows into everything he doesnt know, he really truely loves you. How many guys would do that for a woman? Just let him know on a daily basis how much you love him and appreciate him. He sounds like a great catch and i would not let him go. when he moves in with you dont let a moment go by when he doesnt see or feel your love. You are not being selfish, wanting to be there for your mom. Now if you just didnt wanna move to be with him thats a different story, but there are circumstances out of your control. Don't worry, enjoy the time you will have with him. and make sure that you are safe when he comes in. Good luck to the both of you.
The future mrs steven mark jones
]
Asking him to come live with YOU, in these circumstances - is not unfair at all. And if he had a problem with it, he would tell you - I'm sure. Set it up so maybe once your mom is fine and healthy again that you can move back to New York with him. Tell him that its probably not a permanent move, and you'd like to go back to NY in the future (if you want to, that is). You're NOT being selfish by asking him to move in with you. You being selfish would be telling your mom "No - I'll go live with him... BYE!" You've made the mature, right, non-selfish decision. Hope I've helped.
]
You did the right thing. If you want to be togther, unfortunalty one of you is going to move. And since your mother is sick, there is nothing wrong with asking him. And it sounds as though he is very willing to make the sacrifice. And I am sure he knows you would do the same if the situation was reversed, so don't feel guilty. I'd say you are lucky to have someone that loves you so much.
]
More Questions:<<< Previous Question: love
| Next Question >>> jokes
|
|