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different opinions...on everything
alrighty, one of my good friends is...i guess what people would call a 'music elitist'? she's very unique and listens to old rock bands like the who and the beatles and stuff. she acts like she doesnt care what anyone thinks of her, but obviously she does or she would try so hard to be different, right? anyway, I on the other hand, am to her, the stereotypical prep. yeah, i get up and take an hour to get ready every morning, i shop at stores like AE and GAP, and i listen to pop music. whenever i give her a ride home or anything, she's always criticizing and making fun of the music that's playing, and if i go to the bathroom to fix my hair or makeup, she HAS to make a comment. i really do try so hard not to say anything to her about it. i tolerate her BLASTING the who and coldplay in my ears when i'm around her without saying anything, and i completely respect her political and religious opinions (WHICH ARE COMPLETELY OPPOSITE THAN MINE) and she doesnt. what do i do??? today i got mad and i blasted the music in the car and i kept making fun of her music, but now i feel bad. what do i do to tell her how i feel without coming off as a total b****???
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well i know exactly how you feel! you should apologize and be like this is how i feel everytime you criticize me. i dont do this to you and you should treat me with some respect becuase it hurts me and makes me so0o0o0o0o freaking mad! also if you wanna sit here and criticize me thats fine i just dont think that we should be friends then. thats wut you should tell her. like i said i know how you feel im kinda going through the same thing rite now at school. lol. hope i helped! buh bye!
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Try laughing it off whenever she says anything. Like if you're in the bathroom and she makes a comment that you care too much or something you could try "I know, I love it!" Or "That's why you love me!" But after a while that might get old and you might stop believing it. Or next time she says something you could be like *take a deep breathe and in your sweetest calmest voice* "(insert name here), I know you don't like _____(clothes,music.._, but I do and it sorda hurts when you comment on it. But I love you!" lol then smile and laugh a little and try to change the subject. Hope I helped! Geez this is a long answer.. oOps!
<33
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If she is really your friend, you should have no problem just bringing this up with her in conversation. It is very important in all relationships to keep communication lines open. You need to tell her how you feel when she does this stuff. If it makes her mad, then I don't think she was really that great of a friend in the first place. Talk to her.
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Woah. I hate to admit it, but you have just described who I was a year ago to PERFECTION. I listen to the Who and Beatles and everything too, and always spat out random music trivia that I just sorta assumed people were as interested in as I am, even though was hardly ever true. My best friend is like you, she likes pop music and shops at those kinda stores and stuff, and she had to point it out to me when I was being an annoying bitch like that, because I just didn't see it otherwise! Although when she said it sometimes I think I was very defensive, but I really did make a mental note to stop being so irritating. Personally I dont think your friend is "trying hard" to be different, I think its just a case of different tastes. YOU NEED TO TALK TO HER ABOUT THIS, cos my gosh if my friend never told me about it I'd probably still be acting like that! And eventually my friend started to discover the certain beauty of the kind of music I listen/ed to, and I swallowed my stupid pride and admitted that her music wasn't all that bad either... I started caring more about how I look, she started to become more relaxed... and we just fit together so perfectly, so just give it time okay? And dont worry if she gets defensive if you say something about it, cos I'm sure she really does listen to what you say and try to improve, she just has too much pride to admit it!
I'm sorry this answer was so jumbled up.
Good luck, I hope everything goes well for you :)
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She is just trying to prove she's "better" by having a taste in music that isn't completely popular nowadays. People like that are ignorant and there is no point in arguing with her. You could try and say something to her, but she's so into herself that it wouldn't get through. Either deal with it or find people who just enjoy listening to music, not bragging about who they like.
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Well, this is a situation that you're in, but it can be solved with a simple chat. Get your friend to settle down with you, no music. ;P You should explain everything you just stated to me, to her, see what she has to say about it. DON'T VENT YOUR FRUSTRATION. That will only make it worse. Even if she gets upset, you must remain calm and cool headed. Make a comprimise that you both will be your own selves, and neither of you will just the other's music, friends, guys, clothes, etc.
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Just explain the situation to her. Go up to her when she's not in a bad mood (and when no one else is around; you don't want to cause a scene or anything) and say (calmly), "Hey _____, can we talk?" and then say something like, "I don't appreciate it when you make fun of me when I listen to my music and when I fix my hair or make-up. It hurts my feelings. I respect your opinions and interests, and I would appreciate it if you respected mine."
As long as you do that in a calm, respectful and mature way, she should change.
But what if she gets mad?
Some people don't like being (or admitting to being) wrong. If she blows up and/or gets mad, it's probably because she knows that what she was doing was wrong. If she does happen to get mad, just remember that you did nothing wrong.
If she agrees to stop and all is well... great! If she agrees but doesn't stop... confront her again. If she STILL doesn't stop... then I would reconsider the friendship, because she doesn't seem to appreciate your differences, and that's very important in any type of relationship (friendship or otherwise).
I hope I helped, and if you have any more questions, feel free to leave one in my inbox!
♥Manders
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Wow.. thats super interesting... Well, talk to her about it!! NO YELLING.. and if she gets mad at you give her some space and maybe start getting a lil bit more interested in her music. I'm not saying change your personality, im just saying switch some things around.. its hard to explain. But, i dont want you and her friendship to be like GONE i just want you to know that if you guys are truly bestfriends you guysz will learn to hang out and listen to eachothers music.. maybe buy her some makeup and stuff then mayybe just maybe she will learn to like your stuff too.. be carful and wise, and just make shure that you follow your heart..
<3 Kiki
sorry if i didnt help.. seriously, i am thats a really seriouse thing.
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Just 2 opposite views on things.
Being different isn't something someone does, it is just how the person is. That is a big misconception among people who are "different" or "stick-out" from the crowd. Most people thing they do all that stuff different just to fit in better and be noticed. Well if they wanted that couldn't they just be like everyone else and confrom to the norm? I can speak from expierence that people who aren't apart of "the norm" don't care what people think of them (although SOME do). They just do things their own way, simply put.
However, your friend doesn't sound like a very good friend. If you are really being considerate and good towards her views and she is completely blasting you for your views, she isn't really that much of a friend is she? A real friend wouldn't do that. So the choice is kinda obvious. Tell her to either learn to respect her views (afterall, you are respecting hers) and stuff, or otherwise you just don't need to be friends anymore. Make it to the point and sincere, let her know you still would love to be friends, but can't be friends when she is being like this.
I hope this helped and everything gets settled.
-Ryan
P.S If you need anything else, drop a message in my inbox.
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Talk to her about it. This sounds a lot like how my friends and I are - all from different stereotypical labels. Some of my good friends are into all that pop music shit, and I tolerate it. If you can tolerate her beliefs and lifestyle, she should be able to tolerate yours. Could she possibly be just joking with you? She probably doesn't realize you feel this way and be very straightforward. If she still doesn't listen, is she -really- worth having as a friend? It's something to think about.
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