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Mom
ok it seems like my mom favors my brother way more than me. So one day I stayed home from school because I was sick. Then my mom told me since I stayed home, I was grounded for the weekend. But then today, my little brother was supposedly throwing up this morning and didnt go to his soccer parade and games but about an hour later he was outside running around and on his dirtbike and playing basketball and everything. Then he got to have his friend sleep over. Am I over reacting or am I right about her possibly favoring him more?
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I have a younger sister and when we were growing up, and even still now, she seems to have so many more privileges than I did. The one that made me really boil over was when my parents let her get her ears pierced when she was 9 and they made a very strict rule for me (and her) that we couldn't get our ears pierced until we were 10. She gets away with so much and has a lot of friends that got to stay over to the house all the time. I didn't have that many friends because my parents didn't approve of them. They wanted their oldest daughter's life to be perfect. They had so many expectations for me. It's not that they favor your little brother more or love him more or anything, but you two are different people and you have a different relationship with them than your brother does. There's nothing you can do about it, you were born into the role of oldest child. Your parents show that they care about you in a different way than they do with your brother. He's the baby of the family, they show they care by giving him things and letting him have priviledges. They show they care for you by setting standards that they want you to meet. They believe these standards will help you become a good person and live a successful life. They want you to be happy in the future. I think this is very common in families, but usually siblings blame it on each other instead of on their parents. It's really nobody's fault it's just the way it is. It can get out of control, like it did with my parents recently, but you probably don't have to worry about that for a long time and it's very unlikely that that will happen.
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I think that since you are older she expects you to take care of himself when your little brother is still young and needs his mother more than you do. Although I think the grounding thing was a little abnormal, and if you really want to ask your mom about it you should be like "why was I grounded for the weekend?" not smart about it but being serious. Maybe you'll get an answer from her, or maybe she'll just get mad.
But remember, she probably used to treat you the same way she is treating your brother when you were younger.
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This is an excellent question and complicated to say the least. An advice giver for this one should be an adult and the eldest child in the family and one with a good sense of family dynamics. You found one in a jaded journalist who pulls no punches with teens in helping or when adults and parents are wrong.
The problem with most mothers mine included is being destracted with the younger child all the time. They need more attention and a watchful eye. With you however, you have grown up and even if you cannot care for your ownself they presume you can indeed. See, if you told mom you were sick it's not that she is not concerned. She figures you can go throw up if need be and care for your problem and be done with it.
Mom's are also the types to not believe the oldest child is sick and therefore you are indeed partly right. They want physical proof and if there does not appear to be a warm forehead, projectile vomit then you are good to go in their eyes until you do have a bigger illness that stems from the same problem.
Face it, you are downgraded when it comes to priority on things mom and dad think you can handle now and brother being young gets more TLC absolute brat or not and it's not favortism it's family dynamics and you have graduated to teenager who can take care of own shit in eyes of adults and parents.
None of this has anything to do with who loves whom more. All of that is bullshit they love you alright but a little kid who is puking his guts out even if only for five minutes gets more attention.
If he goes back to being normal why should she stop him if he is indeed well again from bikes, soccer, games if in fact he can attend and perform well? Would you not be pissed if you were him and she denied you when well even if just took a little while to get better? You have to put perspective into it.
The other problem here is the classic teenage scam of "I don't feel well I think I am going to throw up any second." line fed to parents when you really do not want to be in school for whatever bogus reason. Hate to say it kiddo but unless you have a warm forehead, are projectile vomitting and or on death's door tough luck until you do in fact have to be picked up from school.
The grounding seems harsh to say the least. If you scammed them and never were sick in their eyes I understand perfectly. In your case you did not. Are you sure it was for staying home or are they pissed at you for something else? Better make sure there.
I think they feel you were not sick and there's no way you can prove otherwise now. Unfortunately, ride it out but you learned something in how the system works. Elder kids feel screwed but it is not the case they love you--just more demands and proving yourself in every single aspect of life.
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I used to feel the exact same way. My advice to you is to spend more time with your mom, trying to do what she likes to do. I suggest making some cookies or something that she likes. It may seem that she likes him more, but mabye she looks at you and feels all sad that her little girl is all grown up and she wants to spend more time with her little boy. Whatever the reason, you will soon be moving out and your little brother will grow up and you won't be able to play little tricks on him anymore =]. When you look at how precious life is, you should try to look past everything that can get in the way of enjoying it.
Hope I helped!
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I feel that way to sometimes too i think my mom likes my sister more them me...she would always be soo nice to my sister and let her go anywhere and let her do anything and i always flet left out but in the end you kno that your parents dont like one more them the other they just have differnt opinions on what you and your brother do....
hope i helped..
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Same with me my mom fav. my bro cause he's her lil baby boy but i can't get away with murder with my dad he fav. me more than my bro cause i'm his lil girl. I think it's kinda normal but i dunno cause all my friends either have a the same gender as their sib. or they're an olny child. Talk to it with your dad maybe he can kinda tell you mom to either lighten up on you or get harder on ur bro. HOPE I HLEPD!
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Hey,
Anytime you need to talk I'm here.
Good Luck,
Advicegodesses2
P.S.Keep in touch.
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She is deffinately favoring him ! I think you should talk to her about it. Because I don't think thats really fair, that you get grounded for being sick. Thats totally unfair. Talk to her about it. And tell her how you think it's unfair about how she treats you compare to your brother. But he is younger. But she shouldn't be doing this. Talk to her. hope I helped !
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