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parent trouble
Ok, so my parent's have been devorced for a long time and my dad is re-married. my mom has hit rock bottom, and now I have to tell an investigator ware I want to live. I am stuck in the middle, both parents think I wana live with them but I really havent decided. please help me! I'll rate 5's for none stupid awnsers.
girl 13.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
MAKE A decision about who you want to live with
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Well.... tough choice huh? From an outsiders point of view I have a few questions...You might want to get a piece of paper and write down your thoughts to all of these.
Does your dad and his wife have any kids (step brothers/sisters).
If not, are they planning to have a family? Would you want to be a part of that?
Does your mom need you or does she need professional help? I think your mom might need you but if you think she is in need of actual help, I would consider that.
Who would you rather come home after school to?
Who could you ask the most personal questions to?
Also if it an option, see if you can spend like the weekends or one week/weekend a month at the persons house you don't choose. And if you can do that, make sure the person you would pick for weekends would be willing to take you places. (sports events, school stuff, friends, etc.)
If thats not an option, then don't stress over it.
And ask the investegator for an extension of time if you can it might give you more time to think.
Just pick whoever you think is the right choice and once you do, call the one you don't choose often. It will brighten their day.
Hope I helped! Good luck!
-PinKkiSs43-
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Who are you generally happy with?
Can you talk to your dad?
Do you like your stepmom?
If so choose your dad, dads are usually more easygoing/
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Go live with your dad for the time being and tell your investagator that you love your mom , but she needs help and if she gets her life together than maybe you can rebuild the relationship. Your father is the more stable one right now and you need that! Lots of luck and prayers for your family!
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This would be extremely hard for anyone. Especially since you're so young and have to make a choice like this one. Honestly, don't consider it a choice over who you 'like' better. Consider these things before you choose :
- Who would I be most comfortable living with?
- Who will be able to provide best for my needs?
- Who will I be able to know that I'll always be safe and warm with?
- Where will I have the best education?
- Where will I be brought up and taught valuable life lessons the best?
- Where will I be able to develop social and home making skills best?
Once you answer those questions, it will be a little easier to make a decision, though it would be completely based off of logical thinking and non-emotional.
Though, if your mom has "hit rock bottom" it will only be harder for her to provide for a daughter as well. If you live with your dad, you could quite possibly be better cared for. You'll have TWO moms that love you and a dad. Possibly step-brothers / sisters. Just think about those questions, and when you make your decision, make it clear that you love both parents THE EXACT SAME. :-
Life bites sometimes.
-FunnyCide
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Divorce is REALLY tough. Trust me, I've had a LOT of friends who have had to go through what you are. And during that time, they cry a LOT, and this is what I say to try and comfort them:
"Don't consider this choice about 'who you like better' or 'if you don't like your mom or if you don't like your dad' & make sure your parents are aware that those two questions are NOT what you're basing your answer on. Also, think about this choice as 'where you want to primarily live'. Also, make sure that you work out a living plan such as where you'll go on weekends that suits you and your parents best. This move is going to be rough, but if it's what your parent REALLY want, you have to understand that, and feel free to talk to them about how you feel." Good luck! xox
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Well, obviously it should be completely your choice. I think you should live where you are the most comfortable, and where you simply like it the best. Maybe where you DON'T live you could visit on weekends...or like a week every other month, that way both parents get their turn. Do you like your dad's new wife? Does your mom need you around? Remember, your dad has already met someone new and he could have another family soon...your mom is alone. Not meaning to make you feel bad, but that's what I'd consider.
~Laura~
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its plain and simple ... pick the place you want to live ... where you would feel less awkward and can just be yourself ... forget about your parents and what they think and focus on you what do you want ...
hope we could help !!
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Life sucks sometimes don't it? In a perfect world you would never have to choose.
Just for a moment forget about your parents feelings and what they think and focus totally on what you think. Where would you be more comfortable? Where would be a safer and happier place for you too be?
Everyone, including yourself, will be better off if you choose a place where you can be the best 13 year old girl you can be. That means a place where you can hang out, work, study and just enjoy life to the best of your ability.
What the investigator is asking you, is to pick the place which is best for you, and that is exactly what your parents want too.
*hugs*
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just tell them to stop putting pressure on you and yoy will decide when its the wright time.
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