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i'm only 14 and a pregnant victim of rape. What do I do?
i'm 14 years old, and i was raped about a month ago. my friend got helped me get a couple of pregnancy tests, and they all turned up positive. i'm really scared to tell my parents, because i was at a party that i wasn't supposed to be at when it happened. i'm a volleyball player for my school, and last year we almost won the championships. i don't want to throw my entire life away, but i know that i would never be able to put my baby up for adoption. i'd wonder every day if she/he was safe, or if they hated me for abandoning them. i'm strongly against abortion...but i'm starting to wonder if maybe that's the right choice in this situation. i haven't told either of my parents yet...should i keep the baby or is abortion ok sometimes?
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Maybe give some free advice about: Pregnancy?
you've got to tell them. its all going 2 come out sooner.
if u go through w/ it, they'll have to contact your parents.
if you get an abortion, they'll have to have your parents permission...( same for if you give it up for adoption )
Sit them down and say" Mom, Dad, i have to tell you something. Im pregnant. Its not because im sexually active, i was raped. ( THEY WILL DEFINITELY HAVE SYMPATHY! )
they may ask where you were raped...
TELL THEM THE TRUTH! they won't be so mad at you.
BTW: i REALLY hope ur parents are white because my mom is white & my dad is black and my dad's ALOT meaner than my mom! haha!
hope i helped x0x0 -Tiara-
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Ok this is serious. To me all parents are the same. Yeah they'll be a little mad that you went to a party without there permission but I garuntee you that will be the last thing on there minds. They will be glad that your safe and concerned. First and foremost the desicion is what to do when the baby comes. I say you keep the baby. Your parents can help you raise him or her... abortion to me is worthless because its just a waste of an innocent life. I'm sure that your parents and friends will be extremely supportive of your desicion either way. As for the guy who raped you its important that you tell police what happened. Give them all the information and the whole story. File a restraining order and do your best to get this guy behind bars. I hope I helped... good luck I'll keep you in my prayers
Kelli
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I'm awfully sorry that this happened to you. It shouldn't happen to ANYBODY.
But it does, and it did.
That said, if you've been raped there are a number of things you need to do. The first thing is to get some support.
Here's a national website that supports rape victims: [Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
And here's their 24-hour hotline: 1-800-656-4673
They can give you more information about your options.
You need to tell your parents. They'll probably get VERY upset, but that's natural. Right now you probably can't understand it, but to them you're still their precious little baby, and they'll be terribly hurt that someone did this to you.
But they'd be even MORE hurt if you didn't tell them. And believe me, they'll eventually find out; it's much better for you to tell them now.
Oh, and about the party: yes, you made a mistake, but that doesn't change the fact that the rape was NOT YOUR FAULT. You need to concentrate on that: you didn't ASK for this, and you didn't WANT it. There is NO WAY that this is your fault.
It sounds as if it's much too late for the police to collect physical evidence from you, but after you tell your parents you should go with them to the police, if you feel up to it. The boy (or man) that raped you could rape other girls, and he needs to be stopped. And since you're pregnant, there's DNA evidence that will ultimately convict him of statutory rape at least, no matter if you choose to continue the pregnancy or not.
Now we get to the part that's the hardest: Abortion. This is the most difficult question that you could possibly face. And I'm sorry, but I don't have any easy answers for you.
You're awfully young. Your whole life is ahead of you. A baby will change that ENORMOUSLY. College and a social life will become much more difficult.
But a baby is the most precious thing in the world.
But you're only FOURTEEN.
But this is the child of your *rapist*.
I knew this would happen; I'm just going back and forth, without a solution. Personally, I support a woman's right to an abortion, absolutely. But ever since my own son was born, abortion came to mean a lot more to me; I really know how precious those little lives are.
But your life is precious, too.
To be honest, I think you need to talk to your parents about this. Don't push them on the subject; give them some time to cope after you tell them that you're pregnant. By the way, if you're afraid that they may overreact, call RAINN *first* and see if they can put you in touch with a rape support center in your area. They may be able to help; they might even be able to have someone with you when you tell your parents.
If you're religious, you might also want to talk with your minister, priest, rabbi, or other spiritual counselor. They might be able to help you decide what to do.
If it helps, I know several women who've had abortions when they were young, a few who did it because they were raped. Some of them have gone on to have children later in life. I think they're happy now; but I also know that they never forget what happened, and regret that they needed to have an abortion.
This is the most complex and difficult decision that a woman can ever make. I'm sorry that you have to face it at all, and particularly now, when you're still half-way between childhood and womanhood.
You have my sympathy. I wish you all the best.
Good luck.
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Personally, I think you need to tell your parents. They need to know that you've been raped -- trust me when I say that they're not going to care where you were when it happened. They're going to be more concerned about you and the baby growing inside you (and pressing charges against the bastard that did this to you). You need to tell them.
Personally, I'm pro-choice. While I don't believe that "I screwed a guy without a condom and now I'm not going to take responsibility for my actions," is a good excuse to have an abortion, your situation is one of those tough ones. I think that if a woman is raped, she deserves to do whatever she wants to do with her body. Talk to your parents and see how they feel about it. You may all decide that the best option is to have an abortion, or you may choose to keep your baby. There are also adoption options in which you can remain in your child's life after it is born.
If you do choose to have an abortion, you have to keep some things in mind: first of all, it does cost money (though I'm not sure how much; you can look this up on your own). Also, it can have detrimental effects on your body (such as not being able to have a child in the future). And if you want to have an abortion, you may HAVE to tell your parents -- it depends on the state you live in. Some states have laws that require the parent to sign a consent form, and some will keep it completely confidential.
The decision is yours, but my advice is to tell your parents about the rape and discuss your options with them.
♥ Hope I helped.
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well 1st of all tell your parents...ya they'll be mad but they will also be very upset and scared for you because of wut happend...and maybe (if your parents would let you) ask if you can pretend that the baby is ur brother/sister and you can help take care of her/him....if they say no you could put it up for foster care until you're old enough to take care of him/her....hope i helped bii!
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You need to tell your parents about the rape AND the pregnancy. In my opinion, abortion is right in this situation, because you don't want to remember what happened, yet you don't (as you said) want to worry about the child being with someone else. I'm not saying "go for abortion!", but it's a choice i would take. Just do what you feel is best and have your parents help you decide.
good luck, hun.
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Look, I know it's going to be scary telling your parents, but they love you. They'll forgive you for being at the party. But you do have to tell your parents as soon as you can. Of course its going to be your decision to have an abortion or not, and everone has different sides on this issue, but if you DO have an abortionit will haunt you forever. My cousin had an abortion, and it haunts her everyday. You said everyday you would wonder if your child would be safe, we'll isnt that better than wondering what your child could be like? think about it, do you want to take away your child's chance to live? My best advice would to give it up for adoption. If you kept the baby, it would'nt be really fare to him/her. A child should be able to live in a home, where he/she is safe and their parents can be there for them 24/7. There are millions of parents who would love to have a baby, because they cant have one of their own. Talk to your parents, and good luck with your decision.
~God is watching over you~
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You NEED to tell your parents about the pregnancy. They also deserve to know exactly how it happened. They'll probably be mad about you going to the party, but it's important for you and the unborn child to get the right care. Go to a doctor and have them do another pregnancy test, just to make sure you really are pregnant. Make sure you carefully research all the choices that you have to make. Look at the up and down sides of keeping the baby, giving it up for adoption, or getting an abortion. If it were me in this situation, and this is just me speaking, I don't think I could keep a baby that was a result of a rape. I don't think I could look at the baby and not think of the day I got raped. I believe that I would have an abortion because it would just suck to find out that you were adopted and that you were only born because a woman got raped by some criminal. You really need to tell your parents what's going on. They might be mad about that party, but they'll want to help you get through this because you're their daughter and they love you. You might even want to get into some therapy sessions to help you cope with the emotional damage of being raped. It'd also be a good idea to file a police report about your rape. If you remember anything about the guy who did this, just tell the police about it. That might stop that sick person from raping another girl. If you have any questions or anything.. feel free to send me a message.
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abortion is not ok. tell your parents - they will find out sooner or later once your stomach starts growing.
they should also know where you were (even though you werent supposed to be there) and who you were raped by.
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I feel that you should tell your parents about it. It doesn't matter about why you went to the party (say you wanted some fun and you were clogged in the house for so long) and when you do tell your parents, FILE A CASE AT THE POLICE STATION for your rape. Test for HIV! You never know! You won't throw your life away, you'll just take a pause and you'll get back on track soone ror later. TELL YOUR PARENTS!!! They know what to do and if you hide it, they'll get an even worst reaction to your problem!!! TELL YOUR PARENTS AS SOON AS POSSIBLE and if you want, go for abortion. If you are willing to take care of the baby and your parents agree, then why not! Take care of it! Calm down and have a talk with your parents. Hope my advice works. Goodluck!
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