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is it bad that i am an independant person.. when ever i get a boyfriend i dotn like it when he spends any money on me because i dont like it when girls use guys to buy them shit. but anyways my best friend is makin a big deal about it and my boyfriend doesnt like the idea. he thinks i dont like him when i dont let him buy me anything.. can someone please either help me change my point of view on this?? or do you think it is a good or bad that i am independant?? thanks
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Just let him buy you some things if he insists you know? It isnt going to hurt, and it doesnt mean you're using him. Buy him a little something in return if you feel bad or if you want to get him something to. I mean I'm not saying spend a lot of money on him. Also, you dont have to let him buy all the time. Just let him sometimes. Maybe its just his way of showing he cares, but at the same time let him know how much you appreciate it and how much you'd be just as happy without it.
hope i helped.
<3 gessyka
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It is good to be independent, but sometimes it's not good to be VERY independent.. sometimes people want to buy stuff for other people to show how much they really care for them and they just want to be nice and do something nice for them. So just let your boyfriend buy you gifts every now and then. Even if you don't like it, just act like you do, cause that'll make him happy that you're "happy" about it. So kinda just balance everything out. Here's a really good suggestion for like next time you go to movies, eat, etc. Split the cost. So he's still "treating" you, and you're still being independent all at the same time =) I hope I helped!
Love,
MELii
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it's not bad to be independent, but let him buy you little things every once in a while. I was the same way. So one day my b/f (now ex) just took me to the mall and spent $20 on me, and i wasn't allowed to pay for anything. I've just learned to let guys buy me things as long as I don't really ask for them.
good luck.
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its not bad being an independant person
im like that too sometimes
just let him buy you something once in a while but if you dont like the idea of that either then just tell him you like him alot you just dont want him buying you things
hope that helps if you need anything else drop one in my inbox ♥
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it's not bad being independant.
the best girlfriend i've ever had had the same thing about me paying for everything, so we settled on for example if we went to a movie, she'd buy the tickets and I boaght the snacks, or visa versa.
sometimes let him treat you, sometimes do the same for him.
If love was buying other people stuff, only the rich would be capable, or would love more that poor people could, and thats bull.
Love is when two people are totaly capable of being apart, but choose to be together.
NEVER give up being independant.
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wow....your just like me...i hate it when guys buy me stuff...my boyfriend always askes me if i want something....its a good thing that your independent...just ashure ur boyfried that you like him.
i hope i helped
any more questions
ddrop em in my inbox
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For a long time I was like that. I refused to let a guy buy me anything because I didn't want them to think I was "using" them. I finally learned to compromise by letting them buy me little stuff, nothing expensive unless it's a special occasion (anniversary, birthday, etc). That way they get to buy me something but I still have my financial independence. I hate depending on anyone, male or female, for money.
You should try compromising a little. Tell your boyfriend he can buy you stuff but it can't be over a certain amount. That way you don't feel like you're using him and he still feels "manly" because he can "provide" for you.
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hun, you're just like i am. I hate taking money from people, even if he IS my boyfriend. There's nothing wrong with that, your best friend is probably making a big deal about it, because they would take the money. And your boyfriend, just explain to him you really don't feel right letting him pay, if he wants to get you something, let it be a surprise gift or something. I know what you feel like, kind of like you're mooching off people and you'd like to pay your own way to show you can take care of yourself. Maybe you shold give in a little, and start letting him pay for things a little at a time, It's sweet that he wants to pay for things, it's just him being a gentleman. So, don't think you wont still be independent if he pays for things once in a while.
__terri
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Of course it is okay for you to be independent. But see it this way: If you really like him then you will let go of this "phobia" of letting guys pay for things and let him pay. I mean....he does want to. You aren't using him.<3Beth
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OMG! IM THE SAME EXACT WAY! that is really werid...not that your independent but the fact that its just like how i feel...ok anyway lets get to the point. its not bad to be that way, your just born a leader i guess and you dont think you need a guy in your life to make you happy. that actually a REALLY good thing. the world needs more people like that.
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no, it isnt bad that you are an independent person. your best friend shouldnt be making a big deal about it, but i can understand why your boyfriend might be a little upset. but you should let him buy you things once in a while, for his own sake.
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