My ex girlfriend won't stop trying to talk to me and still wants to be friends, even though I have told her multiple times I do not. I haven't really told her this to her face, but I do post it on my website which I know she visits regularly. She even offered to take me to the movies. I know this sounds immature and stupid, but could you help me?
Thanks,
-Dr.Socko
[ Answer this question ] Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category? Maybe give some free advice about: Work/School Relationships? Chado answered Tuesday February 6 2007, 8:56 pm: This is actually more simple than you may realize. Your emotions are all over the place. Its time for you to step out of this situation and work on some "me"-time. Its obvoius that the dynamics of the relationship has changed and your ex is not quite ready to accept that, yet. This does not mean that you do or do not love each other. What it does mean is that reality is not being focused on, by either of you. That's right I said it. You haven't told her to her face that you don't want to see her, which to me indicates that a part of you is actually enjoying this little drama, either that or you don't want to hurt her feelings anymore than you already have. But this is where you are going to have learn the difference between between assertive and rude. I think she truly wants to make ammends with you, but you don't want that anymore. The help you actually need is by taking a step away from her. Take time to reflect. Even take time to ponder the way things could have been. But eventually you and she will both have to accept the reality that things are different now. And the only way that is going to happen is if you step back and look it from a different angle. Feel past the hurt, and remain active while doing so. And in the end come full circle to a realization of how things are. And you may have to be firm with your ex. I know its not going to be easy, but you may need to be. How else is she going to realize that the situation is truly different now, unless you give her the truth and stop trying to sugar coat it? The truth is, she is not your friend at this present moment. But she isn't your enemy either. She may be your friend again later on down the road. But now it is time to give it a rest and for both of you to clear your heads, and realize the reality that the relationship dynamics have changed. I hope this helps. [ Chado's advice column | Ask Chado A Question ]
CallMeAmber answered Friday January 6 2006, 3:37 pm: I dont no why you cant be far friends with her.. talk to her occasionally.. say hi.. tell me what she did that was so terrible that you cant do that... You sound like two people i know.. Darr and Paul.. and dont say anything to your parents.. that would embarrass her.. just let time smooth out...
<3 CallMeA
Email me with more info... yjhfootball00@yahoo.com (im a girl im just obsessed with football) [ CallMeAmber's advice column | Ask CallMeAmber A Question ]
LSRGrayson answered Monday July 11 2005, 1:41 am: Ok, sounds like you got this girl hook, line, and sinker, which makes your job about ten times harder. There are levels of pain you can cause her by trying to pull away from her: little, mild, medium, and then, the ever famous "you might as well just rip her heart out." I had that last one happen to me recently, poor girl had had many bad boyfriends in the past, and all the sudden I come along, and she thinks I am the end all to be all. Well, when we broke up, she started gushing how I was the only one who could make her happy, etc. This could be the case with your girl, maybe you just made her so happy she is afraid to lose you. If telling her to her face doesnt work, because obviously it didnt tell her on your website, you have a few options. These really range by age groups. Option one: tell your parents. They will most likely tell the girl, or her parents, that her advances are not welcome, and that she needs to break off contact. Option two: ignore her. Block her screennames, phone numbers, and don't answer the door if she tries to come over. Option three is for people 18, 21 in some states, and over. If you tell her repeatedly her advances are unwanted, try ignoring her, and she still wont go away, you can go to a courthouse and apply for a civil restraining order, which will require her to stay X amount of feet or miles away from you, and bar her from any contact with you, on punishment of jail time. Use that ONLY when nothing else works, and only if you are old enough in your state or city. Good luck, let me know what happens if you wish.
Best Wishes, Jordan [ LSRGrayson's advice column | Ask LSRGrayson A Question ]
nachoxqween answered Thursday June 30 2005, 3:23 am: It's pretty obvious that she still likes you and that you don't feel the same. You need to tell her, to her face, that you don't feel the same about her. Otherwise, she'll just keep bugging you. [ nachoxqween's advice column | Ask nachoxqween A Question ]
CheerGirlee123 answered Saturday June 25 2005, 2:24 pm: Hey ok i know you have told your ex that you dont want to be in the relationship anymore but try giving her a chNCE t being friends and she must not be that bad if you went out with her in the first place right it might not be so bad and if you let her be your friend she will probably stop bugging you about it and she might even "cool down" about it if that doesnt work talk to someone about it she could turn into a stalker if you dont (im serious) [ CheerGirlee123's advice column | Ask CheerGirlee123 A Question ]
confusedgirl23 answered Friday June 24 2005, 1:42 pm: You just have to tell her to her face the you don't want to see her anymore. I know it's hard to do and it might hurt her but it's the only way. Be honest and direct and that's all you can do [ confusedgirl23's advice column | Ask confusedgirl23 A Question ]
TrueHope10 answered Friday June 24 2005, 12:41 am: You don't have to go with her any where but the least you could do is be nice to her..Talk to her tell her why you don't wanna be friends...Don't post it on your website ...you know posting it on there might even screw up your chances with other girls..especially if they see it and think your mean [ TrueHope10's advice column | Ask TrueHope10 A Question ]
karenR answered Thursday June 23 2005, 12:07 am: Hey there Dr Socko, sounds like it is time to seriously tell her to get lost. If you don't want to see her again I'm afraid you will have to bluntly tell her you want nothing more to do with her. Its going to hurt her feelings but she doesn't seem to be getting the idea. :) [ karenR's advice column | Ask karenR A Question ]
pinkfairy1773 answered Wednesday June 22 2005, 8:30 pm: well i know that girls can be annoying in that stuff, and girls dont get mad because i am a girl too and i do admit that we do hang on to our last strings, but you gotta straight out tell her that you do not want to go to the movies with her, i mean if you keep making up the excuses such as i cant i am babysitting my cousin, then she will keep on asking. and i get that you dont want go out to the movies with her.
but you should consider being her friend. i mean unless she's that evil and stuff then you dont have to but just try not to be too mean and i hope things works out for ya
rainbowsend answered Wednesday June 22 2005, 7:14 pm: You need to talk to her. Preferably in person. The only way she'll get the message is if you make it clear. Be direct. Explain that you don't want to be friends, and would appreciate it if she'd stop contacting you.
However, remember that she has feelings too, so while you need to make the message clear, you also need to be considerate.
jodyfresh answered Wednesday June 22 2005, 4:42 pm: well it looks like she is gonna keep bugging you until you tell her face to face in person. maybe she just needs some kind of closure or something.
HOPE SHE STAYS OFF YOUR BACK
*JODYFRESH* [ jodyfresh's advice column | Ask jodyfresh A Question ]
siozeegreat answered Wednesday June 22 2005, 4:35 pm: It's simple, you just have to be straight with her. Don't do any of this childish posting it on your website business, just tell her straight to her face next time she's brings up going on a date or something. [ siozeegreat's advice column | Ask siozeegreat A Question ]
Attention: NOTHING on this site may be reproduced in any fashion whatsoever without explicit consent (in writing) of the owner of said material, unless otherwise stated on the page where the content originated. Search engines are free to index and cache our content. Users who post their account names or personal information in their questions have no expectation of privacy beyond that point for anything they disclose. Questions are otherwise considered anonymous to the general public.