|
| |
K so I am almost 15, and very mature for my age. And me and this guy have a thing, he is 18 almost 19. And i know it is quiet a difference, but if we are happy, get along, have fun together, and respect each others wishes, who cares about age. But the thing is, I doubt my parents will aprrove of this, and my question is, what do I do? How do I hang out with him without them knowing? Right now we just always hang out with a group of friends, should we just keep doing that? Anything helps.
thank you (link)
| |
I've got to say that I don't really agree with the answers given. Here's the rub of the deal. I'm assuming that you live in th U.S.A. So therefore you have the whole "sex" with a minor thing going. Sure it is four years diff, which really shouldn't matter, but with the legal ramifications, whether or not he has sex with you, doesn't matter, because from an outside perspective someone may percieve that he is. Okay but with that part pushed aside what about the actual relationship. It sounds like the actual relationship is going well, but you have the problem with your parents knowing. Unfortunately by either telling them or not telling them you run the risk of losing this relationship. In other words, you tell them, but they don't respond positively. They might respond positively, but you fear that they won't, and there is a chance of that happening. And due to this you may lose contact with your love interest. On the other hand you don't tell them, and eventually they find out, which olnly makes the matters worse. Currently you may be feeling guilty feelings about it, perhaps passionate guilty feelings. So I am afraid it may seem that you may be at a loss no matter which way you turn. Lets not sugar coat this with the parents will be understanding. That's not reality. Some parents are more undertstanding than others. I don't know if your parents will be or not. They are people and everyone behaves and believes things differently. For you, you are just glad to have found someone that helps make you happy. But you have worries about this relationship. I would say that the relationship itself is healthy, but the dynamics of it aren't. I don't know if that makes sense, but let me put it this way. Lets suppose you build a house, a perfect house, but you put it ontop of a moutain peak (triangle). Okay the house is perfect, but its location isn't it, the house may be well balanced, but there is a slight chance that it might fall on either side of the mountain even if the smallest thing goes wrong. This is where your relationship is. It isn't right or wrong to be here. It just is there. And you have to learn to be careful when walking in the house not to topple it over. So what are my words of advice. My words of advice are to tell your parents, but only if it is the right thing to do, and if you do so in the right time and in the most grown up way as possible. On the other hand, my words of advice are not to tell the parents if they are most likely to respond like little children (and believe me, us adults can act like kids at times!) I'm not saying to hide this, that would be wrong. But to tell it in the wrong way at the wrong time will not help you. I suggest you discuss it with your boyfriend, and see what his opinion is. I dk if that will help or not, but ask yourself, isn't it at least worth a try?
|
My ex girlfriend won't stop trying to talk to me and still wants to be friends, even though I have told her multiple times I do not. I haven't really told her this to her face, but I do post it on my website which I know she visits regularly. She even offered to take me to the movies. I know this sounds immature and stupid, but could you help me?
Thanks,
-Dr.Socko (link)
| |
This is actually more simple than you may realize. Your emotions are all over the place. Its time for you to step out of this situation and work on some "me"-time. Its obvoius that the dynamics of the relationship has changed and your ex is not quite ready to accept that, yet. This does not mean that you do or do not love each other. What it does mean is that reality is not being focused on, by either of you. That's right I said it. You haven't told her to her face that you don't want to see her, which to me indicates that a part of you is actually enjoying this little drama, either that or you don't want to hurt her feelings anymore than you already have. But this is where you are going to have learn the difference between between assertive and rude. I think she truly wants to make ammends with you, but you don't want that anymore. The help you actually need is by taking a step away from her. Take time to reflect. Even take time to ponder the way things could have been. But eventually you and she will both have to accept the reality that things are different now. And the only way that is going to happen is if you step back and look it from a different angle. Feel past the hurt, and remain active while doing so. And in the end come full circle to a realization of how things are. And you may have to be firm with your ex. I know its not going to be easy, but you may need to be. How else is she going to realize that the situation is truly different now, unless you give her the truth and stop trying to sugar coat it? The truth is, she is not your friend at this present moment. But she isn't your enemy either. She may be your friend again later on down the road. But now it is time to give it a rest and for both of you to clear your heads, and realize the reality that the relationship dynamics have changed. I hope this helps.
|
|
