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age.. parents... complications...
K so I am almost 15, and very mature for my age. And me and this guy have a thing, he is 18 almost 19. And i know it is quiet a difference, but if we are happy, get along, have fun together, and respect each others wishes, who cares about age. But the thing is, I doubt my parents will aprrove of this, and my question is, what do I do? How do I hang out with him without them knowing? Right now we just always hang out with a group of friends, should we just keep doing that? Anything helps.
thank you
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I've got to say that I don't really agree with the answers given. Here's the rub of the deal. I'm assuming that you live in th U.S.A. So therefore you have the whole "sex" with a minor thing going. Sure it is four years diff, which really shouldn't matter, but with the legal ramifications, whether or not he has sex with you, doesn't matter, because from an outside perspective someone may percieve that he is. Okay but with that part pushed aside what about the actual relationship. It sounds like the actual relationship is going well, but you have the problem with your parents knowing. Unfortunately by either telling them or not telling them you run the risk of losing this relationship. In other words, you tell them, but they don't respond positively. They might respond positively, but you fear that they won't, and there is a chance of that happening. And due to this you may lose contact with your love interest. On the other hand you don't tell them, and eventually they find out, which olnly makes the matters worse. Currently you may be feeling guilty feelings about it, perhaps passionate guilty feelings. So I am afraid it may seem that you may be at a loss no matter which way you turn. Lets not sugar coat this with the parents will be understanding. That's not reality. Some parents are more undertstanding than others. I don't know if your parents will be or not. They are people and everyone behaves and believes things differently. For you, you are just glad to have found someone that helps make you happy. But you have worries about this relationship. I would say that the relationship itself is healthy, but the dynamics of it aren't. I don't know if that makes sense, but let me put it this way. Lets suppose you build a house, a perfect house, but you put it ontop of a moutain peak (triangle). Okay the house is perfect, but its location isn't it, the house may be well balanced, but there is a slight chance that it might fall on either side of the mountain even if the smallest thing goes wrong. This is where your relationship is. It isn't right or wrong to be here. It just is there. And you have to learn to be careful when walking in the house not to topple it over. So what are my words of advice. My words of advice are to tell your parents, but only if it is the right thing to do, and if you do so in the right time and in the most grown up way as possible. On the other hand, my words of advice are not to tell the parents if they are most likely to respond like little children (and believe me, us adults can act like kids at times!) I'm not saying to hide this, that would be wrong. But to tell it in the wrong way at the wrong time will not help you. I suggest you discuss it with your boyfriend, and see what his opinion is. I dk if that will help or not, but ask yourself, isn't it at least worth a try?
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I would not bring up the age difference yet with your parents. You should try to get your friends to come to your house for a "party" and invite this guy. It has to be a situation where your parents would have the opportunity to get to know him before they know his age. It may take a few gatherings before they warm up to him. Don't act like you are any more than friends though at first until your parents get to know him. Maybe after they see what a great guy he is they won't look at the age difference so much. Good luck!
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i think that unless your parents get to know him a little they'll trust you and him about going out alone, or else what i would do ...(doesn't mean it's correct i'd let it to your judgement) go out with him by telling paretns something like: im going out with a bunch of friends or something ,,or talk with them really straight something like ..okay i know this guy and i think i know him enough to trust him and ask you to let us hang out by ourselves and before going out ..introduce it to your parents ..that's the most reccomended thing in this cause for me because your 15 and although he might be a very sweet , good guy ..parents won't think about it because of the age gap but just tell them ...if you think there's no way they're going to agree...i recomend going with group of friends lol or ,,,going with friends and for xample in the mall,,arrive with friens then hang out just the two of you for the rest of the day or something ... good luck!! hope it works
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You should tell your parents. Sit them down. Tell them it isn't always about age. If your parents are a few years apart, bring that up. If you feel comfortable bring your "guy friend" along. Tell your parents why you like him so much.
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this is a very difficult sitch, but i had a friend i was interested in and we decided not to date for that reason, age dif of 2 years though, however i DO NOT suggest not dating, because you dont wana feel this way, trust me, be strait up with your parents, tell them you met a guy you really like, who just happens to be older than you, and wana date, your rents are probly a few years apart themselves, so use that to get your point across, if they say no, then just continue doing wat your doing now, let it grow into something more personal, i hope this helped you out
-brubiebear
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