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it is prob the wrong category
i am a 13/f. i need indepandance. i want to be able to go places. to peirce my belly button. to go to rated r movies. not to have to sneak out to see my boyfreind. dye my hair purple. own a housekey.
i cut my hair, and it looks okay, but my mom didnt see it yet. i am so grounded tommorow. i have like no freedom in my house. my mom reads my emails and my books! she doesnt let me go to peoples houses unless she knows them. doesn't want me to pluck my eyebrows like i do. sh wants me to let them be natural!?:/ doesnt want me to have a bf. (she would flip if she knew the truth)my mom is like a watchdog. i gotta do something. talking to her or my dad doesnt work. my mom is in charge of the family, and in my face. what should i do to gain her trust and rights that a teenager should have?
-thanks
-xoxo olga
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Tell her you want to be able to do stuff regualr teenage girls are doing! if she doesnt let you then thats her bad. She can be a caring mother if she wants but cant be to controlling and to me she sounds WAY TO CONTROLLING! * no offence * if she doesnt let you do nothing or have nothing then just ask her to talk to you face to face
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Hello Olga,
There is some very interesting stuff in this post:
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DangerNerd.
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olga,
if your mom is really treating you like your 5 just simply proove to her that you are responsible and get her to learn that your 13 and you should have more independence. Also sit your dad down and talk to him about it and tell him that your mom is going crazy ! and that you have no privacy whatsoever and your getting older and should be trusted more and ask him if he would talk to your mom and if that doesnt work theres only one thing left to do yell at your mom straight forward
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hey! i know how you feel! Your mom doesnt understand that the more she watches you, the more you want to rebel against her. She is only trying to keep you close by her and safe from the dangers of the world, but it can be too much to handle!! Just listen to her and unerstand what she is trying to do, while keeping your grounds, also. The more stuff you get caught doing the more she will want to hold you right by her side, so be careful what you do!
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She's only punishing you cuz your name is Olga.
Nice Uni Brow.
Hahaha. Okay, so anyways, you should punch your mom in the philangees.
SHe's only being over protective on you.
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hey i'm going through the same even though i got my belly button pierced without them knowing... anyways what you can do is just sit them down and talk to them i would do that but i'm asain... haha yeah anyways be like mom i know you once had fun and actually enjoy being a teenager. i understand and know whats from right or wrong. can u please have some freedom and it makes me feel happy and good that you trust me too. and see what she say and if that doesn't work then show her anything you can think of that is a sign of responsibility...hope i helped take care. x3 SweetStar.
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Well she is having a hard time letting you grow up obviously. My BF's mom had a hard time letting him go. His way to letting her know he needed freedom was "mom im 17 and my curfew is 8:30 what the hell?" im pretty sure you can live without the swearing. Just point out that you are growing up and your ready to take on new responsibilities and that you'd like to be a lil more grown up then what she thinks. You also need to prove to her that you can do this. Like help around the house, or babysit siblings. good luck!-trix
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Well--by going behind her back and cutting your hair is definatly not going to help you gain any trust with your mother! I hate to say it, but you are only 13, and as much as you want to be independent, you are still young.
The fact that you incorrectly spelled many of those words in your entry shows how young you still are.
However, I do understand that it could be difficult to have almost every aspect of your life controlled. Your mom does seem a little overprotective of you.
So, if I was in your shoes, I would try with little things to gain trust. Don't lie about going out with friends. Invite them over so she can meet them. It may seem like a hassle, but hopefully over time she will see that you have a good group of friends, and maybe will become a little more understanding and lenient when it comes to letting you go to friends houses.
As for the "plucking eyebrows" situation. Sit down with your mom with some pictures of eyebrows you like (i.e. magazines with celebs in it--find some that you like) and try to come up with a look you can both agree on. Go to a salon to get them done so you can get the agreed look. Again--with time she will see that you are growing up, and will respect your wishes on when it comes to how you look.
The boyfriend issue is a little more difficult. I think that if you work on the little things first and build up your relationship to where your mom will trust you with a boyfriend may be the best way to go. You have to show her first that you are able to take care of yourself, and you can make good judgements!
I really hope things work out. But just remember, as annoying as it may, your mom is only trying to look out for you. I would have died to have a mother who was so interested in my life. Unfortunatly I had to make alot of mistakes on my own because I had no parenting to guide me. Over time, you mother will see that you are growing up, and that you are changing and need your own space. Good luck with everything!
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If you want your mother to trust you and give you more freedom you need to show her you're trustworthy. Take it one step at a time. Don't ask her to let you dye your hair and pierce your belly button in the same day. First, build the trust up, help around the house, get good grades, be respectful and then approach her. And stop hiding things from her. You say that she would flip if she knew the truth and then you ask how to gain her trust? Hiding things from her is not a way to gain trust and respect. At the moment it doesn't sound like your in a position to be trusted. You're hiding things from her and doing stuff behind her back, I can't say that I blame her for keeping such a close eye on you. Trust needs to be earned, not demanded.
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