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Generation Gap
My mom was born in a foreign country, and their thoughts on things are a LOT diffent from the United States, and her thoughts are LOTS different than what I want to do. For example, she refuses to let me date, so I have to keep all my feelings for boys bottled up in my diary. She doesn't let me wear shorts (only capris) in the summer, so I end up burning up in my classrooms. I really need to tell her that these things might not be allowed where she grew up, but I don't live where she lives, and I need to have a LIFE! How can I tell her?
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You sit down with her when you are alone together and you have a long talk. She still may not go for it, and it will be difficult for her to understand your wanting the changes...all you can do is try. :)
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date secretly, say your going to the movies with friends and meet guys there. buy shorts, bring them to school in your back pack, get there early, and change. you can have one of your friends moms try to talk to her and when your friends can date, you can date. and tell her that shorts are in and you feel left out?
XOXO ~*~*Nicole Lynn*~*~ XOXO
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secretly go out with guys when you want to and bring shorts to change into at school and it probably will work!
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I totally understand where you're coming from! My mom used to NEVER let me wear short skirts,shorts, etcccc...(she still doesn't approve of it..but she doesn't say anything about it..) Tell her that things here in America are wayy different than in her foreign country..don't be mean though..Start out small and give reasons why you should be able to do that..she can't hold on to you forever..Also, you may take this advice and try it out on her..and she may not agree at first..but I have a feeling things will work out for you..Hope I helped! Leave one in my inbox if you have anymore questions..
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Tell her that things are different here in America and you would like to do things differently than she did. Start small and give her good reasons on why you should be able to do certain things that you aren't allowed to do. Like,ask her why you can't wear shorts and then come up with some good reasons why you should able to.
Hope I helped and Good Luck!
Ke
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That sucks, just tell her that things have changed since then and you live in a different generation where those things are allowed. Tell her that you get hot in school, tell her that you are old enough for a boyfriend. Just talk to her. Hopefully, she will understand. GOod luck!
-Brianna
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Tell her that you're in America, Land Of The Free (comes in limited quantities x.X ) And that you're a growing teen who needs rectification! Rebel my comrades! CHAAAARRGGGGE!!! X.X
Umm... well. Yeah. Try explaining to her that you have your own life, your own needs and wants. My parents want me to be the same as they were, goodie goodie 60's children. Bah. I live up to todays standards. If I buy something they don't approve of, I just shrug it off and let them take the time to deal with it
<3 EJ
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Dear Generation Gap,
I understand your problem. But lets put it in perspective. It isn't so much that you do not like your mother's customs, you just want to be more like everyone else. Let me assure you, your parents customs will become very important to you when you are a young adult.They will be an important way of how you identify yourself. Customs are good things. If we did not have some one (FAMILY) or something (COUNTRY) to identify ourselves with, we would feel lost and alone. Look at how adults fight (go to war) over customs. (BUt I am not telling you that you have to do that...just that "traditions" will become more important to you as you grow up.) NOw lets take the two issues you mentioned. Now really, do you think the girls in class with shorts on are any cooler (meaning temperature) than you are with capri's? If your mom made you wear woolen stockings and long skirts and sweaters,then I'd say you have a point. If your capri's are made of cotton, then they are as cool as you can get in summer clothing. YOu just want to look like everyone else. (Which is cute, because when you get older, you will go out of your way to look as different as possible as everyone else.) But that is OK, it is normal to want to fit in. But really, are your capri's a topic of conversation? Would anyone really notice you you didn't bring it up. Isn't it kinda of silly to turn on your mom for a pair of pants?
Now lets take the second issue, boyfriends. You don't say how old you are, but I am sure that even if you are 13 you have some friends that are "dating". And there a some that cannot. And even if you are 16, there are some friends that are dating, and some that cannot. Again I side with your mom on this. My son is 15, and while he has had a couple of girlfriends, they only saw each other at school. He may have felt that he was dating someone, but I never let them actually go out on a date, alone together. They even met up at the mall a few times, that is OK with me, and he can say that he is "dating" but in reality, he never actually went on what I would call a date, alone in a car, and that I will not alow for a few more years. So, is it that you can't date, or you don't have a boyfriend whom you like to spend time with in school. You parents can't prevent you from being friendly with someone in school. And since you have access to a computer, you can probably stay in touch out of school, by computer. Being allowed to "date" does not magically bring you more boyfriends. But the kind of boys who will only see if you can be alone with them in a car or at their house, etc, have something else in mind. A boy who really likes you for you would spend time with you when he can, when you have permission, or when it is convenient, and not ask you to disobey your parents. Someone whose parents don't care about him, he will want to be alone with you, and if your parents think to much of you to let that happen to you, he knows he can find a girl whose parents don't care enough. And go out with her. See when it comes to teenage boys, it's not really YOU they like, as much as the thought of being alone with YOU, or HER, or THAT ONE or the NEXT ONE. Come on, you can say this isn't so, but you know boys in school who have had a dozen girl friends already, and some of them have broken hearts. Your mom is just trying to protect you from this just until you are more mature enough to handle it.
Well that is enough speech writing. LEt me give you this one piece of advice. The MORE YOUR PARENTS TRUST YOU, THE MORE FREEDOM YOU WILL HAVE. So be trustworthy, respect their wishes, and you will see, in time you will have more freedom, when they know you will make sensible decisions.
FOr example if you told your mom that she was mean for not letting you wear shorts, and everyone else wears shorts, and your real hot in school, and everyone else is cooler....well, she knows that that is not true, and so do you. You are just trying to manipulate her and she knows it. And it is very EASY to say NO when you know your child is trying to maniupalate you. As a parent, you can't let them get away with that. She is older and wiser and can see through that. If you told her that you really like the way the girls look in shorts, and you can't wait to own a pair, and please mom, as soon as you think it is ok, can we go buy some, please????????
She will see that you are actually making sense, and at least you are not lying and trying to manipulate her, and she may just give in. I guarantee she will give in sooner than if you try to talk her into it by giving her all these lame excuses
Anyway, that is my advice. I hope it helped.
Michele
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maybe try to expain to her that the rules are differnet by telling her a rule in the U.S thats not where she came from so she can see that things are diffent or try just talking to her
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