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Touching
K, so I've been going out with my boyfriend since 1-31-05, and lately we've kind of been like, you know, "touching". At first I was kind of like, well I dunno about this, and feeling indecisive about whether we should even be doing it, but kind of wanting to at the same time. (I'm 14, he's 15) Well now my problem is that when he touches me it feels *kind of* good at first then it just hurts. What are we doing wrong?
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YOUR TOOO YOUNG. GET IT THROUGH YOUR HEAD.
-Bu Buy-
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its because you are probably not "Wet" down there. maybe he is going to hard or using too many fingers. purchase some ky gelly or whatever its called from the store and use that, or just tel him to ease up!
thanks for letting me help you!
*22kelsey04*
please leave feedback! :)
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Well I am 15 and my boyfriend was 14 when we were together. We touched alot and you need to be up front with your partner. If he is hurting you, you really need to tell him. Maybe do it on the phone.. might make you feel more comfortable, but be sure to let him know.
Hope I helped. Come to my Column sometime and ask me more questions. I am happy to help you.
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he is probably jus getting caught up in the moument and doing it too hard or going to deep! tell him how you feel and let him know e is hurting you. if you dont he has no way of knowing...hope it helps!
-ally-
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:sounds like your a virgin:
Assuming he is touching you "down there" then it may be that there is not lubrication, or that he is hitting your hymen--->therefore going to deep. As long as you tell him that he is hurting you, then you two will probablly be able to fix it.
PS-PLEASE be carefull as to how far _you_ want to go, not just him.
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"touching" is normal with kids our age..and yes its going to feel good..i dont understand why it hurts though afterwards..i dont want to sound nasty..but..maybe he is doing it too hard..and is doing it like that because he wants more than just "touching"..i dont know..ask him what he thinks is wrong..hope i helped <3
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He doesn't know what he's doing. Tell him to ease up. If he's hurting you, you should let him know what feels good and what doesn't.
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He's getting carried away. Tell him to slow down.
If you don't tell him it hurts, he has no way of knowing. :)
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Sometimes it will hurt a lot when you 'touch' each other don't think it's all nice and confortable-
Because it's not!
Agony
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maybe hes going too deep..is he fingering you? and are you giving him a hand job?? well..tell him direct him so it feels good so he knows hes pleasuring you. geeze! 14 and 15! god..so young! haha
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Well, I'm assuming his rubbing you in erogenous zones, by "touching". If it hurts, adn he is rubbing your clitoris, he may want to wet it first. The clitoris is riddled with nerve endings, and if his skin is rough it can cause some pain. Guys tend to have caluses (sp) on their hands alot from working. Its ok for you /both./ to be curious about the oppsoites sexes body, so theres nothing wrong with it.
So, if he is rubbing your clitoris and it hurts a bit, ask him to just lubricate his finger. Anything liquid should do.
<3 EJ
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Well, actually, we don't know what you mean by "touching". There are lots of places he could be touching you, and most of them could hurt if he's too rough.
If he's rubbing your clitoris (ask if you need to know where that is) he's probably pressing too hard. Also, some women have very sensitive clits - direct pressure, no matter how gentle, never really feels very good. In that case, have him touch around it, gently.
If he's been inserting his fingers into your vagina there are several things to keep in mind. His nails should be trimmed or he should put something over them (like a condom, no kidding). It's not a fun place to get a scratch. You should be turned on before he enters you. Fingers are smaller than penises, so you don't need to be literally dripping, but you should be wet and slick to his touch. If for some reason you can't get wet (and there are plenty of good reasons that are totally normal), use lube or find some other way to play. Penetration isn't necessary for most women to get off. Also, your young and probably haven't finished growing yet. If his fingers are long enough to reach your cervix and he's touching that, it's unlikely to be pleasant for you.
You will both have to experiment with what feels good. Different things feel good for different people too. Communication is the key for most aspects of a relationship, and sex is no exception.
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You are not doing anything wrong- the reason it hurts is that you are getting nervous because you are thinking about what is going on, what he is doing and what might happen next.
Let your boyfriend know that you don't want to go further yet and he will understand. If you take things slowly then you will get used to what is happening and you will be able to relax and enjoy it more. Don't worry-what you are going through happens to everyone!
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It's probably because you aren't wet enough, lube up, and tell him that you're in pain, he might need to be more gentile.
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If he's touching you "down there" and it feels kind of good at first, then hurts, he might just be a little rough, in which case you should let him know you need him to be more gentle. Also, make sure he doesn't have nails. Nails can reeeeeally put a damper on a good thing.
You're probably not doing anything wrong - everything takes practice to get right, no one's perfect at anything at first. Just experiment a little and figure out what you like. Don't be afraid to actually guide his hand and show him what you want.
Don't worry about it, it'll come with time, and communication.
I hope this helps!
-Siren =)
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you shouldnt really do that bc he might get u pregnat so i would back down and just stay natural!
please write back!!! ~ashley~
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