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Breaking up
I am going through a break up because my boyfriend just wants to give up on our relationship all of a sudden. Now this is a big deal because a child is involved. We have worked through everything for years and now all of a sudden when we have a family started he wants to run and give up? I am extremely hurt and I wish I could just be calm and move on with my life and say well, he's just stupid. But I am so angry and I just want to scream at him so bad but I know that could make things worse. How do I be a calm, cool, and collected person so that there is a chance that he may want to work through this? I don't want to be that angry girl with sarcastic comments comming out of my mouth every five minutes...it's really hard to control guys, I am so mad at him for giving up at the worst time. I wish I could do something as simple as smack some sense into him, but I know I can't. He doesn't understand that he's messing up a chance for our child to create family childhood memories and everything. How should I be throughout all of this? I really need advice I am so lost, I have crazy mixed emotions and my anger is so huge. Please please please help!! We can't afford couples counseling either. thanks.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
Be angry! You have a right. But let the jerk go. What you value is not what he values, obviously. And you don't want to convince him to stay. A child learns how to love from you, and learning how to stay in a loveless relationship is more damaging than losing some childhood memories. Find a healthy relationship with love and support and maturity so your child can in turn be a good lover when s/he grows up.
I would personally write him a few letters with what you want to say, write the first one REALLY angry and get out all the crappy things you want to say, then write another one a little calmer. Write a few more as your mood changes, then pick the best one to give to him. You will get some of that anger out and he wont know all the crappy things you said.
And you can't control guys, nor should you want to. You should want someone to do this with you out of their own free will, anything else is less than you deserve.
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hey hunny,pray with all your might and then do this. Spill it all out, tell him what he would do to this baby and how it affects on you. Remember to remain calm, breathe, and say to yourslef you are going to make it through this. God never gives you more than you can handle and has ALOT in store for you..sometimes the anticipation of what it is that is in store for yourself is overwelming. give it a try. give it 2 tries if nescessary. past that, if he doesn't want to be a real father then find him a new one honestly, thats better than him. don't let your child be fatherless (take it from me) a life without a dad is like a life without spirit...good luck hun and God Bless you and your baby.Tell me how everything goes my e-mail address is cheerbaybee93@hotmail.com xoxo NiCoLe
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its tough if you can't afford couples counceling. Let him kno how you feel. Tell him you think what he's doing is crazy. Don't act like a bitch though.
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Well first you should sit down and talk to him. Ask him if he does leave what would happin to the baby. Also you should have him stay at a family members house and ask him how much he missed the baby. once he notices how much that might make him stay. Also you should show him what you wrote because some guys just think the girl might not be ready, But once he sees your Question he will know how you feel. You said you couldn't afford couples counseling; You should save up for it once he decides to stay!
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first pray, then act.
tell him your heart and if he doesn't listen than there is nothign else you can do but stock him..and thats not a good answer. remain calm, breath, you can make it thru this. God never gives you more than you can handle and has ALOT in store for you..sometimes the anticipation of what it is that is in store for yourself is overwelming. give it a try. give it 2 tries if nescessary. past that, if he doesn't want to be a real father then find him a new one honestly, thats better than him. don't let your child be fatherless (take it from me) a life without a dad is like a life without spirit...good luck hun
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if the love is gone.....then it might be for good. unless he's just scared of the commitment to a child. talk to him to make sure you know whats REALLY going on. and if he is scared of commitment after all, then seek some help from family and friends. maybe even a counselor. hope i helped!
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Go to cousoling i heard something for free at youth works.. but they help with it for older people contact them! I mean its important for him to be there exspeacially now like you said. Just talk to him very nicely just remember to breath in and out! merry christmas!! ))rate please(( trix!
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Well,if you feel that your love for him is sort of gone too,then as you said,your main focus should be your child. Just tell him how you're feeling,in the way that you told us.Let him know that you're dissappointed that he wants to just give up,but that you refuse to argue and lower yourself to that level. Tell him that right now,your main focus,and what you want to be HIS main focus is your child.Make him aware that you want him involved in your child's life reguardless of what happens with the two of you.I've seen friends go thru this same situation so if you'd like to talk about it more privately feel free to leave me a note in my inbox and I'll give you my AIM name!!
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i think you should just tell him everything you just told us. the only thing you can do is talk 2 him. explain that ur kids future is effected by this. he's probubly just stressed from being a father. I hope i helped!
~*~((HAPPY*HOLIDAYS))~*~
>>*~*{eMiLy}*~*
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well if you cant afford counceling and he definitly wont try harder to work things out then it may be better for the child to be brought up with you not together. things could get worse and worse for the child with the relationship you and this guy have. i think its just best that you try to bring the child up as normally as possible. thats how things will have to be. im sorry your in such a situation like this.
hope i helped,
~STef~~
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