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change
Is it possible to change certain characteristics that you don't like about yourself? Recently there have been things that I've done that I normally wouldn't do that have made me and my bf get into fights. They're little fights, and we always end up resolving them, but in the end I feel like a complete idiot for making such a big deal out of certain things. I want to change the way I react to things, and the way I think about certain things. Do you think that's possible?? Any suggestions?
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this is so me..it take a lot of hard work..you have to chaange how you think about things first..and then make an effort NOT to do them...
I real books about bad behavior and Dr. Phil has been really good. Take one thing at a time. I decided not to talk badly about people..and let me tell you..this has been hard..as everyone wants to do that.
About the fights..count to 50 girl..no way you can yell at someone if you count it off..or walk away..
remember when you yell..you actually are LOSING the argument..
I do the same thing about a big deal..now..i just keep my mouth shut..it is working..people are like..what has happened to you..takes a HUGE effort to keep it shut..but..it is worth it.
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i dont think that there is any reason for changing yourself. consider the facts that you may be stressed out, or you need a change of something. getting angry at little things happen to all of us sometimes, mostly because we are either tired and crabby, in a bad mood, or stressed out about something and you have no other way to get your feelings out.
i would either talk to somebody you trust or write in a diary about your day and if you felt stressed out or anything. or maybe you just need a change of things, like, is your boyfriend making you mad? sad? angry? if so, i think that yall should take a break... if not, then i think you should keep going out with him, but trying to calm your thoughts whenever you start to make a big deal over something that isnt a big deal.
so in conclusion, i dont think you should ever change yourself for anybody, just take some time off from things and relax....
i hope it helps!
~Kt
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think before you speak and just be careful and think it over before you do say anything and just talk to him about it
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I think anythings possible if you have enough reason and enough will power to do it. If you really love this boy then you should try and stick with him. Now if it were something like you 2 were fighting about a hiarcut you got and you made a big deal about him not likeing it, then thats his problem but if it's something like he's making a joke and you take it seriouslly then lighting up would kinda be the way to go. I hope that it all works out for you to. Best of wishes.-Krista
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yes it is very possible. lets say that you are hanging out with the wrong crowd of people...that can be something that changes how you act that makes your friends or friend get mad at you. don't change yourself to be cool cause then you'll just look like you said you feel "stupid". its never fun. just be yourself and have fun
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i think the only thing is just when you feel yourself getting to that point wher you get mad jsut step back and breather for a sec. im gunna sound like a total loon but juts count to ten or tell him you need a sec and leave the room. sounds stupid but it really works. just amke sure you'r changing because you dont liek the way you are not because youre boyfriend doesn't, because very rarely is a boy worth changing yourself for.
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hey! anything is possible as long as you believe that you can do it. since you seem to be having trouble controlling the way you react to things, try to always think about what you are going to do. this may sound lame, but i think it would work. if you think about it, then you'll realize that it is no big deal and then you wont get in a fight about it. you'll probably wont be able to change it everytime, cause it will be very hard in the beginning. but you may be able to do it if you concentrate on what you are saying and the way you react. we all react too much at some point, but its true that people who react too much tend to get a little bit annoying sometimes. well, i'm sure that you'll be able to do it if you really want to. if you need my help Im me or just leave me a message. peace and love!
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The only way for you to change something is to understand what's wrong first. First concider if there may be a physical reason. Especially if you just started this. Anytime your body is off balance so are your emotions and thinking. Next, get some couceling. I'm not talking about major psyc couch trip or anything. These people are trained to help you think through problems and lend an ear without dragging your personal dirt all over town. If you choose to go that route, make sure you find a kind of coucelor or therapist that will work for you. There are lots of thought schools about therapy. If you want to talk to someone and just have their acceptance and a few guiding questions to help YOU find your way, see someone in the Jung school. I don't personally think anyone is really screwed up enough to see a Fruedian therapist. Certainly not you, you just need to work through a few things. A Freud coucelor I think would just screw you up. Good luck!
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maybe your just feeling uncomfortable with the situation. make sure you talk to you bf. with support you can change, you just need help. you're not alone. the worst thing you could do is give up on yourself or your relationship. just remember that things are never impossible.
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You could go to a person that will help you talk about how you feel. Like a doctor that has a degree in personal feelings. It wont make you a freak i go to one because i have depression.
Good luck
XoXoLexiXoXo
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