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What's the right thing to do?
Darrel, this guy I like, likes me back. Except...he's black, and I'm white. And my mom has already told me that she wouldn't support me if I were to date a black guy. Not because she's racist, but because of the "problems" it causes, and everyone will look at you differently. But she isn't going to forbid me from doing it, because she knows that I have to do what's right for me, not for her. And anyway, I think that the things that go along with dating a black person kind of are problems - other black guys will look at you and think, oh, she's into black guys, and other white people will look at you differently, and if they don't know Darrel they won't know what a sweet, funny, smart guy he is, and how he wouldn't ever get mixed up in the wrong crowd. But I think I might really like him. And it's wrong not to date someone just because they're black - that's racism! I guess what I'm trying to say is, I need some comfort and someone telling me what the right thing to do is, lol! Sorry about the long story, but I rate! (Oh, and I'm 14/f, by the way.)
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You are right when you say not dating a guy because of his race is racist. Your mom thinks she is looking out for your best interests by trying to keep you from being in a difficult relationship. This is pretty typical thinking-- other people will give you trouble for dating someone who is not the same race as you, therefore you, and everyone else, will be happier if you just stick to dating your own race. What's wrong with this thinking is a complete lack of responsibility. If we all had this attitude, think of all the advances in civil rights that would never have occured. It would have been "easier" to just look the other way and let racial injustice stay as it had always been. What would actually be better is if people who claim to not be racist would stand up, have some backbone, and say "Who cares what other people think. Racism is always wrong, and you should date the person you want to date." If your mom is worried about the trouble you will face from racists, the answer isn't to discourage you from dating a black guy. The answer is for her and you to get involved in the fight to stop racism.
Don't worry what other people think about you. There are a lot of small-minded people in the world who will always have something bad to say about the person you are with. What is important is for you to stay true to your values. Date someone because you like him, not because of the color of his skin.
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ok, i think if u liek him forget everyoen else... if u really liek him thenit shouldnt matter wht color skin he has! and liek i think if hes funny and ncie and sweet and all tht stuff then u should go for it dont care wht other ppl think abt u cuz of it... my moms best friend since liek 6th grade had the same thing happen and in 8th grade she met this guy he was black tho, she didnt kno wht to do but she went for ihm and now they r married and have 3 kids. im not sayign tht tht is how this will work out for u but i think u ahve to take a chance for love ya kno i think darrel seems liek a nice guy and if all the black gusy r liek oh shes into blakc guys then w.e maybe u r tht doesnt mean ur like a bad person! well good luck!
<3 Jen
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Your mum is totally a racist, and so are you. If you didn't care about him being black you'd already be dating him. Racists.
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who cares love who your heart loves not who your mom tells u to love
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If you like him you should deff. go out with him. Dont worry about what other people might say!
~Brina~
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My past 4 boyfriends have been black and im white. I thought i would have the same problems u think ur going to have but then i finnaly was like screw wut other ppl think because i really liked him. When we started goin out nothing really changed. The other black guys we're just like oh shes kewl n all this stuff n the white people we're just like aw their cute together... so there's absolutly nothing wrong with goin out with sum 1 of a different race... no 1 will judge u and if they do screw them because thats their problems not yours! so go for it gurl if u like him that much! dnt think ne think of it as any differently than goin out with a white guy :) good luck
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if u like him screrw what ppl say.. take him home and watch save the last dance.. it works out for them!
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i kno exactly how u feel i dated a black guy juss last yr and ppl would bug me n bb liek y r u goin out w. him n woudlnt support me or enthn but i didnt care cus i realli like dhim all that matters is taht u liek him dont let things bother u im still kewl w. all my friends black and white so dont worry bout it!
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if u really like him it doesnt matter what other people think. it doesnt matter if they are white black orange purple green or polka dot all that matters is that they r a good person inside. i hope i helped!
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if you like him date him, race doesn't matter.
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Omg that is so cute. you realy like him.... go for it! if you like eachother and will be there for each other then you should go farther then friends! and by what you told me your mom is rasist... (not to be rude)... like she says, she is not the one dating him, YOU ARE! if you realy like him then it will turn out for the best... and you are only 14 I hope that the people in your school are not that childish to talk behind your back about the choices in guys. go for it girl! i am here to to be some moral support and so is Darrel and your friends. hope i helped and if you have any more questions just ask :)
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