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Adult parents only please
I am a 23 year old mother to an 11 month old son and I am still breastfeeding him. I am slowly introducing him to cow milk but he won't be ready for that full time for a month or 2 or 3, who knows. I love breastfeeding but am just about ready to be done with it even though I will miss being a size 36 C. The only thing I won't miss is going back to an A or B bra. I love the closeness and the bond my son and I share from it, but now it's like he's older so it's more annoying now because he is so clingy to my chest area not just to eat but for comfort. He eats 2-3 meals a day of baby jar foods and he loves little finger foods and he drinks juice but will not drink anything but that and breastmilk. He eats really well, but when he wants to be breastfed he gets so fussy and demanding and he puts on this really moody act wherever I am. I am sick of having to whip out my boob when I am with friends or family now. Not just because of how they look at me like, "you're still breastfeeding him?" but also because I am now annoyed by it, I want my freedom back. The problem is that my boyfriend works 2 jobs, he is on his feet from 6 a.m. until 1 a.m. 4 1/2 days a week and it is really important that he gets his sleep at night. Now we only have a 1 bedroom apartment so I need to keep my son quiet at night, so how do I do that? I breastfeed him all night long. It is hard to put him in his crib and keep him sleeping. I am still waking up with him at all hours of the night like he's a newborn!! Although I love to cuddle with him and wouldn't mind sleeping with him a little here and there I am sick of sleeping with him ALL of the time. I want to stretch out again and sleep for 8 hours at a time, not a 1/2 hour to 4 hours only. We are not getting a 2 bedroom apartment until April 1st, and believe me when that time comes things are so gonna change. But what do I do in the meantime? I can't afford formula, nor does my son like it. I heard something about mixing evaporated milk with organic milk until he is ready for full time cow milk. Does anyone have any suggestions? I want my son to become independent from his mommy's breast now. I'm afraid it is only going to get harder to keep him from wanting it the longer he stays attached. Urgent help, advice and suggestions are wanted A.S.A.P!! Thank you.
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First, I applaud you for making it to 11 months! My daughter outpaced me by 5 weeks! Byebye boobs. BUT...I learned the merits of cereal in her nightime bottle as soon as she was ready. She began to sleep longer each night. Usually start with a tablespoon or two mixed well in the bottle (by this time she was on formula but I also added it to breast milk) and work up to the consistency of a milkshake. It gives their little tummies something to really work on and sticks with them longer than full liquids. You should also try an electric breast pump-much better! The only caution is that once he starts getting teeth, any sugars in a nighttime bottle can be bad for those new teeth.
Next, the clinging. My husband rescued our daughter every night (to let me sleep-I worked) and brought her out to the living room. At two, she was ENTITLED to get up every night and how DARE we not do so! Stop that behavior now before it gains a life of its own! I'm not saying that comfort is bad but it can turn into terminal clinging and problems way down the line. Mine is 4 now and independant as all get out, partly because I didn't give in to the whining and clinging...at least not every time. I also snuggled at odd times throughout the day when she didn't demand it to let her know I am always there.
Finally, just because you are now somebody's mom doesn't mean that you should lose your entire life. Do you have snybody that would babysit for you to get an hour or two of peace? Maybe just to have a long bubblebath or do the grocery shopping unencumbered. Start with somebody he knows and trusts, maybe for an hour or two at first and then work up from there. Being a mom is hard work and we all deserve fome "me time" once in a while. This will aldo help him assert his independance and learn that though you may not be there every second, you will always turn up. You don't need to "cut the apron strings" now, but let them stretch some.
I wish you the greatest luck-it's a rough job but also packed with rewards!
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I'm 27, and our (untraditional) household has 2 boys. I did not give birth to them, but I am responsible for their daytime care.
It sounds like you have a few separate issues here.
1. Breast-feeding. If he has teeth, it's time to wean. At 11 months, he should at least be teething. One method is alternating during the day - once he gets breast milk, next he gets solids and a sippy cup. Then cutting it back to 2 solids between each milk, etc. Another method is situational: breast milk at home and solid foods when your out. Just make sure you're out an awful lot! :)
2. Fussiness and Clinging. Part of his fussiness and desire to suck and chew may be from teething. Try one of those teething rings that go in the freezer. Our youngest really liked frozen banana in those little mesh "self-feeders" for like 3 months, then decided that room temperature chew toys were the way to go. It is important to encourage your child's independence. When he comes to you for comfort, comfort him till he stops crying plus a few minutes, then put him down and encourage him to play.
3. Sleeping through the night. He should not be waking up less than every 4 hours for sure. It's quite possible for him to be sleeping through the night, but quite a few kids don't. If he has his own bed, but he's used to sleeping with you, put a nightgown you've worn for a few nights in his crib with him. When he wakes up, <i>don't pick him up</i>. Leave him in the crib and rub his back. When he wakes up less than 2 hors after you've fed him, give him a bottle of plain water if he doesn't go back to sleep with being petted. Yeah, it'll be hard the first week (maybe 2 if he's stubborn) but babies are pretty adaptable, he'll get used to it.
A note on liquids. He should not have more than 4 ounces of juice a day. Most people mix juice and water 1/2 and 1/2 (which means he can have 8 ounces). Milk <i>must</i> be whole milk, not lowfat or skim. I strongly prefer the hormone free organic milk, but I don't think it's essential that the whole milk be organic. Water is good, as is pedialite.
Hope this helps.
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if your son is eating solid food from a jar...it is time to wean him.
I would not go straight to cow mild ..i would start with formula..athen do ease him into the cow mild. Could be that he does not like the taste.
He is ready.. know this is hard for you..the closeness is so special.
But as far as your cup size goes..won't you be glad to get bakc into your old clothes??And not leak everywhere??
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29 year old parent of 2.... first of all congratulations on sticking it out this long.I breastfead both my kids until they were about 9 months and thier teeth got in the way(ouch). of course he is not going to like the change in his diet its only natural.I would suggest subsituting one or two feeding first and slowly ween him completly.But it is important to stick with it even if he gets fussy or he'll never change over.I switched my kids from the breast right to cows milk. they were eating a varity of foods so they were getting plenty of nutrition from things other than milk.If you are serious about weening him your husband may just have to put up with it for awhile(tell him to get some earplugs)Remeber SLOW and STEADY.As far as him waking up at night i would say it has become habit that needs to be broken.if he wakes up and there is nothing wrong except he wants attention put him back and let him cry.Move him to the kitchen or living room if you have too.If he continues to cry just keep checking him every 10 mins or so to make sure he is all right, but don't give in.he'll eventually learn.He will never learn too sleep trough the night if he knows you are going to get up with him everytime he wants attention.Good Luck
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I would advise you to contact your pediatrician or family clinic about how to help your son adjust to regular foods. There should have been someone that talked to you about breastfeeding (either at the hospital or when/if you took classes), see if you can contact that person about this issue.
If that isn't an option or you don't feel comfortable doing that, hit the library or the bookstore for books about breastfeeding. I know there's a bit in "The Baby Book: Everything You Need to Know About Your Baby from Birth to Age Two."
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Just to let you know, I am not a parent and I am 17. But about breast feeding him, ween him off of it. Dont give in. When he is eing fussy just let it go. That is his way of telling you he wants attention. Instaed of giving in every time he is fussy... only do it once or twice. And then cut it back again. And as far as him becoming more attatched to your chest, I can understand your point. That would be my thught about it if I were in this situation. So like i said cut it down and just eventually stop all together. Try giving him that evaporated milk with organic milk. See if that helps. Also I heard that breast milk is sweeter than regular milk, so try maybe giving him some sweetened condensed milk with some regular milk or even some formula. And as for not being able to afford formula, you can apply for wic. That will give you some coupons and a check for formula and baby foods and juices. The check will be for like a Giant Eagle for say. So apply for it and get the stuff that way. About sleeping with him, sleep with him until he falls asleep then leave him. Your boyfriend will just have to understand that there is a baby in the house. He will have to deal with it. Other than that, I have nothing farther to say. I truly hope this helps. Being a mother is not easy. It is a life long job. But Good Luck hun. Things will eventually get better.
~*Barb*~
XOXO
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Just so you know, you may not get many parents on this website. I'm seventeen, but very close with my mother, and we've talked about things like this.
I can understand that you want your freedom back, but do keep in mind that 11 months is still very young. As far as becoming independent from his mommy's breast, I hear that breastmilk is sweet - you might try sugar in cow milk. Just a suggestion. I have no idea how well it'd work, but it's worth a shot, right?
I'm not so sure that it'd be harder to detach him if he stays attached a little longer. I believe my mother said she breastfed me until I was about 2, and I actually made the decision to stop myself. Having a baby, as you well know, kind of hinders your ability to do things, and have free time. A baby is a full-time job, and you've got to expect that you'll be up late with it, and all that, until it grows up.
You probably won't be able to sleep for 8 hours at a time for awhile because your baby is still young. Give him time to grow up - don't rush him. Teenagers are much harder to deal with than babies.
-Siren =)
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Ok. Please be advised that I don't have a child. But I think that you are just going to have to bite the bullet and say NO. Don't cave, don't give in because he knows he can throw a fit and get his way. Boyfriend is going to have deal with the fact that there is a baby in the house.
As far as sleeping with him, I would start now. If you just wait until he falls asleep and then go to your bed that will work for a little bit. Then start just spending a few minutes with him until you wean him away from sleeping with you too.
It's not easy being mom, but eventually everything will work out in the end.
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