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Drinking, and DEATH
Sorry it's long, but it's VERY important to me.
Okay, me and a bunch of friends were at this party, and there was alcohal (i'm a freshman in high school, 13 years old.) Well anyways, my boyfriend can drive, but he decided to leave his car there(it was a friends house.) and so we decided to split the cost for a taxi ride, about 10 of us squeezed into a taxi, well my REALLY good friend, didn't seem drunk, but we offered countless times for her to ride with us, she kept saying NO, so we gave her the walk test, and she did in a strait line. So since we couldn't talk her into it, she drove home, and ended up driving off a mountain, and she died. Well I felt so bad, and guilty, and I still do. So now I'm trying to stop drinking, after what happened, I decided I better stop. Well I was wondering, I want to get over the guilt, and stop drinking. One of my teachers knows that I drink, and I was talking, with an attitude saying it's not like you can die... and the next day my friend passes away. She is the only adult that I know, but I'd feel really akward talking about it to her, and I wouldn't know how to bring it up, neither of my parents know, and I don't want to upset them, I mean I'd get my butt whooped. So does anybody have any Ideas what I can do? None of her friends besides me want to talk about it, my boyfriend will change the subject each time we bring it up. She was sort of a loner, and she didn't go to my school, niether did my bf, and I met her through him.
So if anybody has any ideas, I'm open to everything EXCEPT telling my parents, or naybers!
Thanks in advance for any help, this is VERY hard for me, so please TRY to be sympathetic.
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first of all im very sry for your loss. i think you should talk to someone. you dont wanna hear this but it might not seem like a very good thing to do but your parents will be the best option. parents are actually very understanding.im not telling you you have to go to them but i think youd be real surprised on how well they will react.they might get upset on you drinking but they are the only ones who can help to stop your addiction. or your other options would be 1)rehab 2)drink less & less each time you drink.
tjlover
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I am very sorry! But you will always remember her as your friend and her death there wont be 1 day were you dont think of her. She was your friend so nobody could not stop thinking but in years later you will not think of the bad accident you will remeber all the goods times you had....
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Wow, i'm sorry about your friend. :( The only thing I can say to get rid of the guilt id to tell someone, anyone. You'll be surprised on how it'll make you feel better. I know how hard it is to lose someone you love. She died because of drinking, right? well, unless you want to end up like her then if i were you then i would stop drinking. I hope i helped.
~***Hannah~***
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wow.... im soo sorry for you i lost my friend too but he was 11 and a car hit him when he was lookin for his dog, but the best thing to do is probably to start driking smirnoff cuz it only has 5% alchohol and it will probably slowly stop ur bad drinking habbit and since ur friend's life stopped because of drinking that will help too...... i hope......
im sorry i couldn't be of more help:-(
latas.... .::Chelsea::.
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Hey~I think that the only way to get over guilt it to tell someone. I know you must feel terrible. I have been in a situation like that so if you need any more help I AM here for you!!! I hope things get better!!
~Paige~
Please Drop one in my box, I will tell you how I handled things!!
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Wow, I'm very very sorry about this. It just prooves how aweful drinking is for your brain and what it can do to you. It's not, however, your fault. You offered her a ride, and cared enough to check and make SURE she wasn't drunk. If she walked in a straight line, I doubt she was drunk enough to worry about driving off a mountain. She probably swerved to miss the truck and that's what happened. But it's in no way your fault.
Anyway, I suggest talking to your teacher, or a school guidence counselor. You could even go to another school, where no body knows you or would tell anybody about it. Good luck.
~Laura~
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I think the teacher you were able to talk to before is your best bet. Ask if they're alright with you confiding in them. The most important thing is to stick with your decision - don't let yourself become numb to the situation and start thinking you're immortal again. Remember your friend and don't let her have died in vain - keep her as a reminder of how irresponsibility and lack of judgement can impact you and those around you. If you were already able to talk to this teacher once before, hopefully you can do it again.
Your friends don't want to talk about it because they don't want to deal with reality - things like this ruin the thought that they are untouchable. I have many friends who went through this exact thing back when we were in high school. Some people realized what they needed to do, whereas others ran from it - they tried to hide, and kept on drinking and not wanting to take responsiblity for themselves. Most of them have ruined their lives, a few have finally started to dig themselves out. We lost a good friend, and the younger ones lost a mentor. He was 18 - he'd be 30 if he were still with us today.
No matter what you choose to do, I hope that you will think more about how people's actions can impact their lives - be thoughtful of yourself and of your friends.
Good luck.
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I'm very sorry for your loss. I would suggest talking to maybe a guidance counselor, youth group leader, social services, ANYONE. I know you don't want to talk to your parents about it, but you might want to anyway, since you need help and that's what parent's are there for (most of the time, don't really know what your home life is like). You might also want to try finding a group counseling session to sit in on and maybe joining as well.
P.S. As per your comments in the rating: Look into the counseling, they can point you in the direction of places like Alcoholics Anonymous, Al-non, etc. for your age group.
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Well last time I checked a 16 year old going out with a 13 year old is considered pedophilia, and 13 is wee bit early to be a drunk.
Try working on those problems first.
As for the girl, it was in no way you fault, she resisted even when you tried everything to get her not to drive she dug her own grave so get over it.
And stop drinking there'll be plenty of time for that when you're 40.
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