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I really feel like my dad doesn't care about me anymore.
My parents have been divorced for several years now and until about a year ago I've had a good relationship with both of them. I live with my mom and I used to see my dad every second weekend. Then about two years ago he got re-married. At first things were going good and then she got pregnant and my step-sister was born just before Christmas. I spent last Christmas with them and that was the last time I've seen my dad. I don't know what happened but all of a sudden he just stopped calling me. I used to try and call him but he never answered the phone or was too busy to see me. So I've basically given up. It's gotten to the point the point I don't even want to see him anymore because I really feel like he doesn't care. Everyone tells me I need to re-establish a relationship with him, and I've been thinking about it, but he acts like he doesn't want to see me. What should I do?
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you have to understand that even if he does that, it's not on purpose... he just got married and he just got a baby into the house he has to settle down into every thing which i think must be pretty all too much for him. and yes he shouldn't ignore just because he has a new child, but still have a discussion with him and unless you do that you might end up hating your dad for no reason and missing out on a great relationship with him..
hope i helped.
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Until you actually try to have an adult discussion with him about this, you have no right to be angry.
He's got a newborn in the house. You've got to understand that they likely ARE incredibly busy. Newborn kids require tons of watching, attention, and time investment. Waking up in the middle of the night to change diapers means sleep deprivation. Trying to balance any career he has with all of that alone is a taxing process.
You haven't talked to him. You're making assumptions based on nothing but your own hurt feelings. I'm not saying that he's a model father and he's just overwhelmed. You could be right, and justified in what you feel.
But you personally don't know that until you try to tell him whats going on with you and ask him why he's never around. Go see him in person and talk to him.
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tell him how you feel. he has a new child in his life and thats alot of work but that is no excuse. tell him how you feel and see what he says, if he doesnt step up then back off for awhile and try again. its hard to say just never talk to him again he is you family, so as long as you give it your all i dont think you will regret any thing good luck and i am sorry any one would have to go through soemthing like that :(
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This may not be your fathers doing. From what you have written my thoughts are; when you call your father’s house your step-mother answers the phone. She must tell you something like your father is not home or unable to come to the phone. If I am correct in my thinking I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that she and not your father is the problem.
We read about this all the time in Novels and newspapers, we see it movies. It is not just the imagination of the writers, your step-mother wants your father to pay attention to his current family and probably done everything she can to isolate him from his past family. If this sounds possible or even probable then you might want to give your father the benefit of the doubt.
My suggestion to you is this; since calling your father at his home is not working sending a letter to his home may not reach him either. IF you know where your father works you could send a letter to him there. Even if your father does not have an office type job, any letter sent to his work address will be given to him. Since you do not want your letter sent to his home you could put one envelope inside another with the outer envelope addressed only to his employers’ office. The inner envelope would contain your letter to your dad; on the envelope you can write please do not forward to his home. Please arrange to hand deliver through company mail.
In your letter to your father you should tell him you called him numerous times at his home without a return call. Each time you have called you are told________________ (fill in the blank with whatever you have been told). Tell him how much you miss him, how much you love him and how much you need to have a relationship with him and your step-relations.
Do not be critical or say things to put him on the defensive. It is just possible that your father is not happy at this time and is protecting you from whatever is happening with his new family. So for now give him the benefit of the doubt until you have evidence that says otherwise.
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I have the same problem. I'm 19. My parents are divorced also. I was adopted and he has his own kids. I feel horrible. I feel like the adopted one. :(. he gets away with it because he tries to act all nice and says he doesn't believe in biological bs. well, it sure doesn't seem like it. his son is like failing every class in school and he goes to ALL his baseball crap. And his daughter gets ALL the money in the world for her tootoos and ballet crap. I don't hate them because it's not their fault. But, I'm practically starving. I am in college and I don't have a job. I have 3 dollars in my wallet which is what I have to live off of till my grandmother decides to give me ten dollars "for lunch." i texted him the other day about something silly and it was as if nothing. but, what i would love to do is send him a text saying "i guess you forgot you had a daughter." i know it might seem harsh. i don't know what type of a relationship you guys had and if that would seem to mean. But at this point, he just needs to be shaken. you know? just because their parents doesn't mean their always right. so, you have to tell him what's bothering you.
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Hello =) It could be that your dad is busy with your step sister, but still; he NEEDS to make more of an attempt to see you. I would talk to your mom about it, and see what she says. She could talk to him about it. I hope I helped... if you need anything, drop one in the inbox <3 Steph
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what an ass.. i think you need to talk to him adn tell him how you are feeling and tell him you are like feeling that he doesnt even want to see you anymore.. im sorry to hear that.. good luck!
-xxoBrianna
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Sweetie, thats terrible! On this subject I can almost promise you your going to get coflicting advice. You have to do what u feel is right. I know that u prolly already know what to do (you see, advice is what u ask for when u know the answer, u just wish u didn't.) gl darlin. lemme know how it goes! -*-Sonnie-*-
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It sounds like you want to do what people have been telling you - get back in contact with your dad. It's a question of finding the way that suits you best.
I think writing a letter would be an excellent way to do things, for a few reasons. First, you can't get overly emotional, start crying, and be unable to get your point across in a letter. You can write a few drafts and make sure it says what you want your dad to hear.
Next, your dad might be able to avoid answering the phone, but the mail stops for no man. He'll get the letter, and he'll open it. Letters are easier to handle - maybe your dad expects you to be upset, which you have every right to be, and is not brave enough to talk to you in person.
Finally, a letter puts the ball in his court. Right now it sounds like everything is up in the air. If you tell him how you feel in an honest, detailed way, then he can react in the way he sees best. Hopefully that would be to reconnect with you - maybe he's been busy with the new baby, maybe he's had a tough time at work - but if you've told him how you feel, then he can't pretend you aren't there.
I hope it all works out for you - this sort of situation can be so painful and awkward. I think it takes a very strong person to make themselves vulnerable enough to tell the truth.
Good luck.
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Hey. i hope you feel better...okay well if you feel like he doesnt want to see why dont you tell your mom about it and then take a trip to his house and be like dad can we talk about something...lately it just feels like we haven't spent time together anymore since my stepsister has been born...are you too busy? because i would like to spend some time with you sometime if youre not busy and ask him some questions about whatever you want to know. be the brave one and make the first move to get his attention or even talk to your setpmom. i'm sure she's not evil and you guys can just talk about it. hope i helped! x3 SweetStar.
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