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My younger sis
I need some good advice about my sister. She is 15 yrs. old {I am 21 if that matter's} and has been getting in alot of trouble at school & home. She got into a fight at school, stole my mom's car one night to go joy riding, tried to hook-up with a 26 year old ex-convict, and the other day was caught giving a note to a boy with a condom inside, asking him when they were gonna have sex! My mom, or me doesnt know what to do anymore. Talking to her about this doesn't seem to phase her. She just cries, promises to do better and never does. Do you think she is doing this for attention? Also, I told my mom I think she need's to get on birth-control, for the obvious reasons, so she will not get pregnant. My mom said NO! she said putting her on birth-control is just going to give my sister the go-ahead to have sex. I don't know if she has ever had sex or not, but if she's passin' out condoms to people then i dont think it'll be to long before she does. Any advice?
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since you're twenty-one, technically you're old enough to take your sister to a clinic and have her put on birth control yourself. if you don't like this idea, you could even go and get birth control, but give it to her instead. no matter what your mother says, birth control is a definite requirement for this girl. even if she takes it as the go-ahead, at least you know she's safe.
this girl needs to be punished. not hardcore, locked-inside-the-house deals; those would only further encourage her to rebel. but it does sound like she's simply trying to get attention, so give her some. and if you're in a bad area, i would even suggest something as serious as moving to a better one, where the odds were less likely that she could get into so much trouble.
just try and express your concerns for your sister, show her some nasty pictures of stds, and, most importantly, tell her that although you're worried, you ABSOLUTELY TRUST HER JUDGEMENT. this is the guilt-trip approach; you should try and make her feel honored that you respect her, convey that you are confused about her recent behavior, and make sure she knows that you want to be proud of who she is. put all this as positively as possible, and the honor she should feel may well be enough to steer her in the right direction.
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most teenagers go through that... does she have a hard home life or anything? or do your (or her) parents fight a lot to depress her or anything? cause a lot of times when that does happen girls tend to get stressed out and start being rebellious and wild to forget about their problems. it's happened to me (sometimes still does) and i know what she's going through. maybe she just needs someone to really sit down and TALK to her and someone to let her cry on their shoulder? just someone to comfort her or something. sorry about what you and your mother are going through, i totally understand!! and goodluck with your sister! <3
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Well i understand that you are worried aboutt your sister, who wouldnt be? But maybe (like everyone) she is going through the "WIlld Period", maybe you should try having a girl to girl talk with her, or your mom can take her to a guidance counselor for help. Maybe she is doing this because, Her boyfriend is pushing her to have sex, or her boyfriend pushed her to have sexx but broke up with her, now she is making him jealous.
If this isnt the case, maybe she wants to be cool, or maybe, she could have taken a drug (probably not) but yes, talk to your doctor, before making any conclussions!
Hope I helped.
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tell your sis 2 slow her roll sit her down and really talk 2 her like even more and talk to her about everything. get her some other help too hope that i could help if not sorry that i was a waist of time
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Talking to your sister directly without first gaining her trust is going to accomplish nothing. Signing her up for "boot camp" will produce results for the first few minutes or so, but she'll slide back into her old behaviors once the brainwashing wears off. The only way you can get her to actually trust you is to spend some time with her *without* trying to change her or manipulate her.
How much time, on the average, does your sister get to spend with an adult who listens to her without trying to preach, tell her to do something, or rag on her? I'm not saying that you should step in and try to be a parent figure or a mentor, but having someone she trusts and can talk to may help. That might be your mom or a school counselor, or it might be you. You have an edge over your mom and the school counselor because you're your sister's peer, not an authority figure.
It's clear she's acting out sexually; what's not clear is why. She may have been molested by somebody, or she might be bullied at school or getting bad grades. She could even be acting out because she's so lonely that this is the only way she knows how to get attention. It might even be the sort of problem where she needs a professional counselor-- you won't know until you spend some time with your sister and find out what's bothering her. This doesn't mean talking to her, it means listening to her. People don't open up on command, so before she tells you what's really on her mind, she's going to have to trust you. This means you need to spend time with her *without* pushing her to change, interrogating her, or giving her a rough time. You don't have to sign off on her behavior, but the smartest thing to do is to not discuss it until she brings it up, and then to do it in a non-confrontational way. You can't schedule trusting revelations like that; they have to come on their own and they only happen after you've done the groundwork to establish a rapport and trust. Neither you nor your mother appear to have made that investment by spending time with your sister in an unstructured way, or by doing things *she* wants to do (as opposed to forcibly including her in your chosen activities, or watching her play sports that have been selected for her).
For what it's worth, the time your sister spends playing checkers with you or watching a movie with your mom is time she's *not* spending chasing ex-convicts or stealing cars. She's still young enough that Big Sisters, a local Youth At Risk Foundation, or a similar mentoring program might be willing to match her up with an adult who's trained to listen, and who doesn't necessarily have an agenda with regard to her (which is a very common assumption teenagers tend to make about their parents and other authority figures).
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1) Most states allow free birth control without notification to the parents after age 14.
2) Most clinics of the sort are open door.
3) If she's smart she's gotten herself checked for STDs. If not, then someone needs to take her. Does she look towards anyone? Maybe you should talk that person into an intervention of sorts.
4) Your mother is in denial and does not recognize the problem. She should make your sister be responsible about sex if she can't be abstinate.
If none of the above work out you can always send her to juvenile court until age 16. That might take some effect.
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Your sis is like one of those bad ass kids on Jenny Jones. Yall need to but her on one of those shows and send her ass to boot camp.After that she wont do nothing else bad.Where is she getting the condoms from anyways? She may do this for attention but who knows? Do yall have a father anywhere around maybe thats what she is missing out on her dad i know what its like with my dad coming to see me once maybe twice a week. Try to get your mom to send her to boot camp or at least get your dad around to talk to her. At least give her a scare one day bust the cops on her and let her spend a day in jail and that one phone call she will make to your mom and say i wabna go home and i am sorry and see if she does it again.
-Jess
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Maybe instead of talking to your sister, you should talk to your mother. Sure, putting her on the pill might give her the go ahead, but think of it this way - sex isn't quite as bad (if you're careful) as drugs are. Besides, if you're on the pill and you use condoms, etc. there's not a very large chance of pregnancy. I have a fifteen-year-old friend who lost her virginity. If your sister is really ready to have sex, let her. Just tell her to be careful and make sure she knows that sex isn't something you just throw around.
Or, talk to the boys your sister has been passing condoms out to. Get clarification from THEM. Find out from them if your sister is still a virgin, etc. This is if you can't get it from your sister. As for stealing your mom's car - she returned it, right? A lot of kids go through a rebellious stage. Chances are this will stop when what she's doing becomes legal. (sex, driving...) I hope everytyhing works out.
-Siren
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I would say let her get pregnant, and leave her to herself. She got into it--she's gotta get out, BY HERSELF. You've told her repeatedly, and she just doesn't listen. I don't think there's much you can do now, and yes, I think she is doing it for attention. Not attention from you or your mom--from GUYS.
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Your sister probably is having sex because people who are virgins tend to be a little more hesitant about sex. If talking to her doesn't help, just give her the birth control pills so at least she won't get pregnant. Now that would be horrible. If your mom doesn't want you to, don't listen to her, if that girl is having sex, then you should try your best to keep her as safe as she can possibly be.
love and luck,
~Colleen~
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ok being the younger sister i have some insight to offer yes your sister is definitely yelling for attention why not sure of that my dear maybe a lack of a father figure or a decent one maybe i was just like her at 15 she is out of control and wreckless and unless your mom is willing to put her on the birth control shot not the pill she probably wont take them but the shot is good and effective for up to three months at a clip then she will be young and wreckless with a baby to support she is looking for something or someone until she finds it not alot you can do except get her professional help take care and good luck
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ok If youer mom will not get he birth controll than you need to, take her to get to get it. and chances are if youer mom gives up and says ok go have sex if you want, youer sis will probly decied not to have sex. youer sis seems like shes asking for some indpendance, and youer mother will not let her have that. Reverse psychology works well with kids who seem to be doing things for attion, i all so must ask whats her dad like, as in is he in the Pictuer? If her dad is than youer sis i bet is doing it for attention. If hes not in the pic, or hes skchey type person shes looking for a father type figure, thats were i see the 26 year old ex con. comming in, even if just for a one night stand. Fact is you should relly sit down and talk with youer sis about whats going on in her life, just make shure you you let her know she can trust you, and that what you 2 talk about stays between you two.
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