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my mother
Hey, i'm hoping someone can give me some advice. I'm an 18 year old female, and for 18 of those years, me and my mum were really close - like best friends. But since around the time of my eighteenth birthday, she's been like a rollercoaster ride of emotions. I wont bore you with the details of our arguments, but one day she'll be screaming in my face, and the next she'll be suffocating me and being all lovey dovey with me. I'm thinking that because i'm 18 now she's struggling to find a balance between letting me have my independence and still acting like we're family.
Right now she's not speaking to me, and when she does speak to be she'll snipe at me so there's no talking to her. I don't want to be her emotional doormat, so she can just throw any old emotion at me that she likes when she likes - I'm still a person too. I just don't know what to do right now, please, if you have any ideas, let me know. Thanks x
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My boyfriend is 18 and he just graduated. His mom is sooo like yourmom. he doesnt have a job and still has to make up 2 credits to be able to go to college, im sure ur moms are just really eager to see u do good, i mean i know im not 18 or anything but i knwo how it is they are just emotional because they are stressed about things u need to do...
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Let me start by saying that for someone your age, you have an incredible grasp on what your mother may be experiencing. It very well could be that she is in the early phases of what's called "empty nest syndrome". What puzzles me however, is her propensity to display negative emotions toward you, as well. Usually, someone in the situation you've described often find themselves clinging desperately to the one they feel they are about to "lose". I've even heard some post-pubescents say that they feel as if they're being smothered. In consideration of that, I'd like to ask if your mother has recently gone through some sort of "trauma" that you may be inadvertently overlooking. Has she changed jobs, residences, someone in her life? Is she happy with where she is in her life and what she's done with it? The possibility could exist that she may feel a bit of resentment toward the opportunities that you will now be afforded having come of age, and that may make her take stock in where she is. If she's not happy with it, then the susequent transference of her anger could be directed towards you. You say the two of you were very close at one point. Why don't you rely on the closeness you once had and tell her what you're feeling. See if you can find out if there's anything else that may be at the root of her unexplained change of behavior. Maybe she will be open to shedding some light on the whole thing. If you find out anything that you may feel to be of importance in this situation, feel free to let me know and we'll take another look at it. If it is, in fact, her rebelling against the idea of letting you go, then there's not much you can do. Take the time to reassure her that you'll ALWAYS be there. Tell her what she means to you, even today, and will always, and let her take comfort in the fact that she will still be needed and useful in your life.
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sit down and try talking to her when shes in one of her good moods.
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I'm gonna make a huge assumption here and say maybe she is going through her menopause? Yes what you suggested is quite possible, but is she is around 45+ and she is going through the menopause her emotions will be alover the place, and having to cope with the fact that your aren't completly her baby anymore. To be honest I'm not sure what you can do, except tip-toe around her, and wait for things to settle down *hug*
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