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In love but not with my husband
Okay this might sound kinda wierd but here it goes. I have been married for 2 1/2 years and I can't take it any more. I am in love just not with my husband. I still love my ex more than anything in this world and I don't know how to deal with it. We still see eachother all the time. Him and my husband work together. I see him every day. We even had an affair. Mynhusband knew the whole time and now he has found a girkfriend and wants us to stop seing each other. He has been with her for 2 months and I am so jelouse of her. What can I do??
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In this day and age it is a wonder to me how you manage to complicate your lives so much, is there a school which fundamentally teaches you to f--- up your lives or does it just come natually.
If you are going to grasp the nettle then you going to get stung so sit down take a deep breath and work out what you want in life.
Being on this earth far longer than you can hope for at your present pace look for your own way out
We all wish secretly that we be fast and loose and play the field but there is a life to live and other peoples feelings to consider so plan what you really want to do,stick to it and make yourself happy and everyone else the same
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Sounds like you want what you can't have. I don't think you developed love for your husband all of a sudden. I think the fact that he has now found someone else, thus driving homw the fact that you're not number one in his life anymore, is a burden you can't bear. Now that he no longer "wants you", you suddenly want him. Honestly, if you two did reconcile, it would only be for a short period of time. Then you'd find that you "still" don't love him and look to dabble elsewhere. Chalk it up as a learning experience and move on. If he's truly found happiness, be glad for him. Funny that you no longer mention your feelings about your ex. i bet they went away when he was no longer taboo. Time to grow and go. Good luck.
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First you have to find out which man you want your husband or your former. You are the only one who knows what you want to do. That if anything is the most important. Then you sit down with your husband and talk to him. It cannot work again withouth both to be involved. Two things then must be enacted: if its involved forgiveness and/or understanding and then trust along with eachother's love. Then and I know its hard sometimes but you become that man's one woman and vice versa, trust me the world out there is hard to do alone, the dating sector especially. Good luck and respond if you wish.
Oneindependentwoman
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The question is what do you want? You are unhappy with your marrige and "can't take it anymore" but you seem upset that your husband wants to stop seeing you. You and your husband have both been disloyal to eachother, so there is something deffinetaly missing in your marriage. If you no longer love your husband, why continue? Do you see things getting better?
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You sound rather indecisive. You say you're not in love with your husband, but when he gets a girlfriend (while you've had an affair), you're jealous of her. I think you need to decide, really. At least, I think that's what you said. Your paragraph is a little confusing. But, if you really do love your ex more than your husband, I reccomend you think about divorce. A marriage without love shouldn't be a marriage.
However, if it's supposed to be interpreted in the way that your ex now has a girlfriend and he wants to stop seeing you, let it be. He was your ex after all, and I say never look back. I'd never get back together with someone once the relationship was killed. Divorces and breakups are final, and should remain final.
-Siren
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Talk to your husband, figuer out what you want from your relationship with him, and see if you want to try and salvage the marrage, in wich case you could try counceling.
If you don't want to stay with your husband, I think you are going to have to talk to your ex and see how he feels about his new girl compared to you. If he wants to stay with her, then you just have to get over it.
In the end, the call is yours. Good Luck
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