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school dilema
my son will start secondary school in a year and already he`s been told how the year 11 pupils put the year6 head down the toilet and push them around, hes panicking over this, ive explained that its all just a myth but hes worried, can anyone reassure him that this doesnt happen
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I remember when I was in year 6 and i was being told about the big bad world of secondary school. People made it sound like the teachers executed naughty people and that you should worry about the big boys. Well that's all a load of nonsense. People in school get picked on, it happens to all of us. It's usually verbal or something that you can laugh about and move on. It only gets serious when you try and pick on older, bigger people. You see, when I was in school, the little kids had just spent all of last year being the big boys, the ones that do the pushing and the picking. Now that they're in secondary school they're at the bottom of the pile. Some people take some time to get used to this idea, and these are the ones who get beaten up (i've never heard of people being flushed but I can just see it happening). As long as your son dosen't try picking on older and bigger kids then there shouldn't be any problems.
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I heard the exact same thing when I was about to go to high school, and never, not once, did I get my head shoved down the toilet. Everyone gets worried about this -- it's a rumour that goes around every single year. I understand how worried your son must be, because high school is a daunting thing. I'm in year thirteen (my last year of sixth form), and even when I was in year eleven none of the people in my year put people's heads in the toilets. You can re-assure your son, but really kids have to learn for themselves at this stage. He'll be nervous right up until a few weeks into his first year, but by then he'll know that it's alright and he doesn't have to worry about it. I hope your son is successful at high school.
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YOU can only reassure him. I can give you some advice, to aide you in this, though. Take him to the principal of your son's future school, and ask him if he or she's ever seen any of these cases before. (Which I'm sure, he or she has not.) Calmly sit him down, and ask him if he really thinks that people are going to stick other's heads inside a toilet. Explain that this only happens in cartoons and fictional books, and reassure him that this is a myth. Let him try the first day of school, and see what he says about it. Chances are, he'll think it was pretty silly of him to think that. Hope everything works out!
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The fact of the matter is that it does happen, as scary as that is. It doesnt happen like on TV or all the time but in reality, its simply not farfetched.
You need to teach your son about hallway manners.
Seriously, this is huge. When you walk down the hallway at school and bump into someone DONT EVER say 'hey watch it' or anything rude like that. I dont care how old the person is, you just dont do that and if it is someone a lot older well, they'll make you an enemy.
If you bump into someone just say politely (but NOT cowardly) 'Oh sorry about that' and keep walking. Dont make a big deal out of it and make it casual.
If someone bumps into you in the hallway and they dont apologize, let it go - its not the end of the world. I cant stress this enough. If they do apologize then make sure you say 'thats alright' or 'dont worry about it' politely but NOT cowardly.
I promise you that hallway manners will help.
If your son has friends around with him then at least he wont feel afraid all the time.
And he shouldnt feel afraid because nowadays they suspend and expell kids for initiation and bullying depending on what happens (at my school they do at least). So he shouldnt feel like he is in danger.
Lastly, ensure that he knows to stick up for himself if he needs to. If kids are threatening him then he should not be that kid who just takes it because that may make the situation much worse. The kids will then assume that he is easy pickings and it could just go downhill from there.
He should not be afraid though. If he is ever afraid then the school is not doing its job, that job is giving kids a safe and healthy environment to learn in. If hes getting hurt then they have failed and need to be contacted immediately.
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there are a few simple rules of upper ed. that I got before entrance. (These apply to all countries)
1) if you need to use your map, duck into an empty classroom or else you are a marked freshman.
2) don't tell people your age.
3) you won't really see upper classmen unless you take higher classes.
4) get a peer group to hang around with.
also, do not follow the advice of someone older than you. I learned this the day I missed my bus because someone told me the west stairs would take me to my locker on the east wing.
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That is really scary for a boy. I think these things actually do happen, but hopefully not as much as your son thinks it does.
The best thing I think you can do for him is to encourage him to join a club or group that he is interested in. There is safety in numbers, and it will give him more confidence to have a group of friends. He will also be in more situations with adult supervision. This will do him more good than simply saying that stuff never happens.
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im in year 9 now and i have NEVER heard of anyone who has ever seen 'the blue fish'. Dont worri you'll be fine, i no loadz of yr 11z and day dont do dat - i promise
Hope it helpz!
xXxXxXxXxXx
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I have heard of older kids harassing younger kids, but when I saw it the younger kids usually started it by being punks and trying to pick fights to impress girls. It goes without saying that they lost said fights. So tell your son that most older kids have better things to do than pick on every single 6 year student (it'd take all year just to get to every one!) and if he doesn't do anything stupid he'll be fine.
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