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My New boyfriend
I recently just became boyfriend and girlfriend with this really nice guy. I really like him and I know he likes me, but he doesn't want people to know about us yet. A dance is coming up and I REALLy want to slow dance with him but I also don't want to give him away to all his friends. I also heard him telling someone he doesn't like anyone when i was right there. I respect that he doesn't want people to know...But i do. What should I do?
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It sounds to me that if he truly likes you he should want to tell people. I dont think he is right for you. He shouldn't be ashamed of you.
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I'm not a dancer and would much rather go on a walk under the stars, eat some nice food or see a good movie... but keeping things hushed to the point of actively denying that I like anyone is a bit much. Like everyone else here, I say talk to him and find out why the secrecy (and lying)?
On a related note, it is always better to let a few people know than for everybody to figure it out...
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Ask him about it. You could start with just telling those you trust the most, those that you know will never backstab you by spreading the word.
FG
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Talk to him about it. If you want to make it known tell him that. See how he reacts. Do you know why he doesn't want anyone to know? Find that out.
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Well you should sit down with him and talk about it.You need to tell him that you are not a toy he either needs to tell people or you are done.One of the best parts of a realashionship is the feeling when people go hey did you hear about so and so.From the way it sounds he values his realshion ship with his buds more than he values it with you.But of course it's you choice!The best of wishes,HEFAMIBALL!
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Confront him about it...usually I give longer answers but that's all I can say. If he's your boyfriend don't let things go too far with him until you know he's being true to you...and that starts with telling people. You don't have to now...but that makes no sense...if he really cares about you then he wouldn't hide something like this. It's your choice if you want to tell people...and ask him if he wants to dance...
confront him...you never know what's going on or if he's the right guy for you and if you both are really serious about having a relationship like this...then talk to him about it.
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Why does he not want anyone to know? And a better question is why should you have to keep your feelings in the closet? Maybe he's the type of gentleman that likes to have his cake and eat it, too. There's something starnge about his request. Even if you two weren't dating, dancing with him at a dance wouldn't necessarily give that impression. And with evferyone thinking he doesn't like anyone, he leaves himself open to date the next person that catches his attention without the threat of being exposed because all of his other "girlfriends" are being "secretive". Don't "respect" the fact that he doesn't want people to know. You deserve to be respected.
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I think you need to find out why he doesn't want others to know. If he likes you as much as you say he does then hes shouldn't be scared to be seen with you. I think you need to have a word with him and let him know how important this dance is to you, and how important it is to you to beable to cuddle etc in public with him.
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I don't think that he doesn't want to be you boyfriend or have people know that you are together. I think maybe at the moment he is just gathering himself. I'd give it a coyple of days...a week MAYBE two at the most.
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I wonder why he says to you that you are boyfriend and girlfriend, but not to anyone else. It sounds like he is embarrassed by the idea. Maybe his friends are saying things to him about it. I think I would try to get him to talk about why he feels so uncomfortable with the idea of having his friends know. Hopefully he will get over it. If he doesn't, I would break up with him.
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Is there any special reason he doesn't want people to know "yet"? I mean, is this only about timing? Or is he just worried what his friends would think about his having a girlfriend?
Because if he has a really good reason not to want people to know right now (I can't imagine what a good reason could possibly be, but whatever), and he's willing to give you an idea when he'll be ready to go public, that's one thing. I don't see why you can't slow dance with him without spilling the beans -- you don't have to be dating someone just to dance with them, after all.
If he's going to be hiding your relationship indefinitely, though, I'd say you'll have to think seriously about whether you can live with that. It's not much fun going out with someone if you have to hide the fact that you're a couple, and you deserve to be with a guy who's proud to tell everyone that you're his girlfriend. You may want to tell him that you like him a lot, but he can just come back when he's ready to handle this maturely -- that may make him rethink his strategy. :)
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I don't mean to be rude but I would dump him. If a girl ever wanted to hide the fact she was dating me I wouldn't want to waste my time because there is no point in being in a relationship that doesnt want to acknowledge our relationship im not going to spend that time hiding my feelings. So I suggest you do the same and find someone who wants to be with you in private and in public.
Cspinoza1
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