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Boring BFF
Ok, I don't wanna sound brutal or anything, but my BFF (let's call her Emma) is so freakin' boring. I'm getting into going to parties, dances, and other fun stuff. Emma is the total opposite. She'll sit at home, watching TV, or sitting on her computer for 5 hours. I really feel like she's holding me back. What should I do?
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
I know you probably don't want to hurt your friends feelings...but you are both probably at an age where you need to discover certain things about yourself, and you may realize the differences between you and your friends.
Whenever "Emma" calls and wants to do something,just say you're up to something else...if you really are. Or instead of going to your house, you should suggest "maybe you can come over here and I'll have one of my parents drive us to the movies". (or something like that) Get her into all the fun things you do because maybe after, she will want to do more of what you like to do.
If you haven't been wanting to hang out with her lately, then either just tell her the truth, or go off and do your own thing. Don't let her hold you back. But just because you're off doing your own thing...don't forget that she is your best friend and that she will always be there for you. So just because you're off going to parties, and maybe somewhat avoiding your friend, doesn't mean that she's still not important to you, and you should always be there for her.
I've been ditched by someone before who I thought was one of my best friends, and it hurt a lot, especially since I was a shy person and there wasn't many opportunities for me to meet other decent people.
So just do what you want, and if she asked if you want to come over...you can say that I was just going to ask you if you wanted to go to the movies with me ( even if you werent going to ask her...but that way if she says no you can say) "Well, I can't come over because I was planning on going to the movies today." But don't lie. Just plan right then to go to the movies ( if there really is a possibility that you can go.
If you start going off and doing your own things with another group of people, make sure to invite her and if she doesn't want to go, then that's her problem...and inviting people to go somewhere can make them feel very happy and she may want to end up going.
Hope this helped (sorry, I know it's long)
~GL~
Here To Help
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It really will benefit you to go out and make new friends. You'll only resent her in the long run if you don't do what you want. Plus, she may see how much fun your having and join you. Never limit yourself to one friend alone, your young and you need more friends and more fun. Friends do outgrow each other.
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Oooh, the typical boring best friend thing :), okay so here's what you gotta do! Your best friend might be a bit shy to go out, or just not used to going out. Have her over one day and invite a couple other close friends over. Socialize and get her comfortable. Then go to the movies with even more friends. Gradually get her social that way she realized how much more fun it is to be actively social!
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Does she say you can't go if she can't go? If not, then you're the one who's holding yourself back. If it's not her thing, then I'm sure she wouldn't mind if you go out and party without her...but if she doesn't want you to go because she can't go then she's being plain selfish.
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the best advice that i can give you is that if (emma) is your best friend keep her feelings in mind so do go out and do these things but also go spend time doing the things that (emma) wants to do and then maybe one day she will decide to go out to partys and dancers with you
p.s when it comes down to it you are your own person and no one can hold you back from doing things that you want to do (well except maybe your parents)
i hope this helps in some way ok if you want to ask me anything i will be here to answer
love darling xoxoxoxoxo
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ok well i have to say coming from a strict family i wasnt able to do anything when i was young...maybe she cat go because her parents said so and she doesnt want to tell you about it or maybe she doesnt like going to partys....maybe the atmosphere isnt for her....talk to her tell her how you feel about the situation and if she is your true friend shell compramise...but keep in mind maybe youll be the one making some comprimises -me
p.s. stay out of trouble at all those partys
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well tell her how you feel and talk things out and maybe you should go your sepeprate ways if that is how you really feel
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Try and talk to her. Get her to come to some of the parties and movies and things u are going to. If you've been friends for a long time dont let her go just because ur moving on. Friends are forever remember that.
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Did you ever consider that maybe she is not aloud to go to dances yet? Ask her about her rules at home. If she is aloud to go then try to push her into doing some fun things.
-shay :-)
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