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Okay, so I have this friend who is gay. And he really wants to tell his parents, they said they'd love him not matter what, but also, they don't approve of gays too much. I'm thinking of talking to them myself, but then he might get mad at me. So I really don't know what I should do, or what he should do actually. I told him to wait until he moves out to tell them, but he said he might feel guilty for doing that, letting them think that he was straight for 18 years or so.. then all of a sudden breaking the news. What should I do? Talk to his parents for him, or just leave it to him? And if I leave it up to him, can you give any advice for me to tell him? Thanks!
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Its funny to me how people hate gays until their own son/daughter or friend come out of the closet. I say its their own problem.
Your friend has the courage to lay his cards down on the table. The move is his parents now. Perhaps, he should contact PFLAG - Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays - before he talks to his parents. They will assist him, as well as provide a outlet for his parents when they decide to have as much courage as their son and work on their own problems.
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It is up to him to tell his parents, but I would advise him to do so. You noted that he was nervous about telling them because he played straight for 18 years, more time isn't really going to help that.
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Being gay is not a big deal. I'm not gay, but I'm saying this and I know you know too, but if his friends parents will love him no matter what, then they have to know sometime. And I know it's hard. I know some people who are gay, and they are just like any normal person. Or if you're friend is worried about confronting his parents...let him do it but go with him. There's nothing wrong with this. NO, I know you're trying to help but do not go to ask his parents unless you asks you to do it. But go with him if he wants. Or if he has a boyfriend, suggest to him that he should bring his boyfriend and slowly announce who it is to his parents.
Make sure you tell your friend that it's not lying if he waits until he's 18 to tell his parents about this.It's not his fault that they assumed. I know it may feel like a type of lying but in reality, it's not. Eighteen is the best age because that's an adult and that way if everythign gets out of hand he could move away, even though its like running from his problems, but it's just because it may be awkward around his parents after he tells them.
This is a tough subject, but just stay behind your freind because he probably needs you the most.
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First of all that should be something that he and he alone should deal with. You can be there for him when he decides to, but as far as talking to his parents, not only is it a betrayal of trust, but you really don't have all the necessary information to give adequate answers.
As for him waiting to move out before he tells them, what difference will it make if he lets them believe he's been straight for ten years or twenty. The difference is minute and is not of that much consequence. Continue to tell him that he should reveal it when he feels completely comfortable doing so.
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Well this is his decision and it is what he wants, but being homosexual isnt always a great thing. I know his parents wont approve, but theres nothing YOU can do, but HE can.
-shay :-)
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I think you should leave it up to him.. he knows his parents better than you so he knows how to deal with them. And if they said they love him no matter what then they will and if they disown him for that then there werent very good parents to satrt with.
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Okay, first you dont need to say anything to his parents cause I think that that will make them and him mad at you. Second tell him that you support him no matter what,that will make him feel alot better about himself.
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Let him do it... It needs to come from him, if you told them it would make them feel like there the last one's to know and that’s because their own son doesn't trust them, that would not be good at all! He has to tell him when he is ready, dropping a few hints before breaking the news might be a good idea... but don't tell them for him, you may mean well but that is not a good way to go about it... move with caution let him break the news...
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Leave it up to him, let him handle it. You don't want to be seen to be interfering. Besides if you talk to them it could cause more trouble than it's worth.
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