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January 11, 2011Visitors:
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Hello, I'm a sixteen year old girl, sophomore. Let's just say I've been through A LOT of hurt dealing with guys... Being used, hit, pressured, guilted, dumped, cheated on, objectified, lied to, played with... Yeah. I've only dated two guys but jeez I don't think I could have picked a worse two. The worst was probably being guilted and physically forced to do certain things... Like beyond making out. In one of my relationships I completely lost who I was. By the end the guy admitted that he only liked me when we were hooking up. That's the only reason he stayed with me. I'm still getting over him. In between those two bad relationsips and after (now) I have clinged to boys... I don't know what it is but I've always felt like I've needed to be involved with a boy to be "somebody" and I think that's the problem. Since my break up I've gained a lot of self confidence. Almost all of my friends have think I've healed but I haven't. I still cry every single night. And there are times when even I think I've healed but the next second I feel like shit again. I've recently started to attach myself to one of my guy friends. We used to text everysingle day but he's recently been distant and I don't know why. Maybe I'm driving him away? I keep telling myself I like him though... even when I know he probably doesnt like me back and I don't even think I like him to be honest... I just need a decent guy to think about when I try to fall asleep at night. But I'm fooling myself... I'm just so tired of all of this. Of needing boys. Its been eight months since me and my last boyfriend have broken up. I've done everything to keep myself busy. I have amazing friends that I hang out with every single weekend, cheerleading practice everyday, and kick boxing and yoga tuesdays and thursdays, and tennis on sundays. Plus I have a 4.0 in honors classes so I'm always busy with school work. I've tried so hard to keep my mind off of guys and to be independent and not rely on them but I can't... and I just don't know what else to do. It's like I don't feel perfect with myself unless I have a boy I know (or I can even pretend) cares about me... Socially, school-wise my life is perfect. I couldn't ask for better. I'm comfortable with how I look and I love my body but I have this need to be cared about my a boy and it makes me sick. Why can't I love myself and be completely happy without a boy?
I have quite a few friends who are the same as you. They cannot be alone - they need to be in a relationship. And i've learnt from them. You NEED to be happy on your own, and I know you know that but you gotta make it happen. Instead of focusing your life around guys, focus on something else. You're only 16, you have the rest of your life to meet guys! Concentrate on what you need to right now such as school, friends, hobbies. Once you've learnt to be happy on your OWN, you'll meet the right guy and you won't feel so scared.
okay me and my ex boyfriend had a fall out about 7 weeks ago and we ended up breaking up. i was completely heartbroken and he seemed to be too. we stayed friends for a while but recently we just stopped speaking. so anyway i went on a date with this guy from my work and my brother told my ex i had. when i spoke to my ex next he was like thats hurt me, i dont suppose there is anything i can do though. i said well i wanted to get back together with you and you wouldnt so im just moving on with my life. he said well i know youre talking to other guys now. i said well im single so i can speak to as many as i want to. its your loss at the end of the day. like a couple of days later my brother told me hes just gone crazy now likes hes out trying to kiss lots of girls and just literally flirting with any girl he comes across. obviously it hurts because i still love him and ive gone on a couple of dates but im not behaving like he is. do you think hes doing it to ease the pain or something?
just wanna make it clear that im not saying what hes doing is wrong. its completely his choice but i dont like to think im the cause of it.
my partner and me are not sleeping together were both 17yrs old.
Ok, and what's the problem here?
18F.
So saturday night ..well basically sunday morning at like 4 in the morning I lost my virginity. I've been on birth control for probably 3 years to regulate my period and whatnot..set my alarm every night at 9pm to take it and I do every night. Things were getting hot and heavy and he asked if I wanted to do it. I was ready, so I said yes but asked if he had a condom and he did. It was completely dark, which worries me a bit if he put it on right. The condom stayed on the whole time, I just don't know if it broke or anything. He didn't say it did ..but I don't know if he would tell me it did because he wouldn't want to scare me. After we were done we talked for a bit and I was like you better not get me pregnant or i'll kill you, being serious but in a flirty manor. He said don't worry you're not i promise.
Now I think i'm just freaking myself out. I have this nervous feeling in my stomach and I know I'm doing it to myself because I keep thinking about it and I'm suppose to get my period next thursday and I'm trying to stay calm so I don't get so stressed my period will come late which will freak me out more.
What do you think the chances are I could be pregnant if for some odd reason the condom did break? Or what are the chances at all if i've been on birth control and we used a condom.
it's unlikely that you are pregnant. but i bet EVERY girl thought about getting pregnant when they lost their virginity, it's normal. some of my friends still worry about it even though they're using protection - because obviously it can still happen. but i wouldn't worry about it until it actually happens. you should be fine.
Two days ago, I had a fight with my boyfriend on AIM. It basically ended when he just stopped responding to what I was saying and we haven't talked since. I know this probably sounds like a stupid teenage fight, and maybe it is. But I honestly don't know what to do and need some solid advice.
I hate not talking to him and I just want us to work things out. And we start college in a couple of days- we're gonna have classes together and see each other; if we don't make peace it's going to be awkward. But on the other hand, I was the one that started it; I called him out when he really hurt my feelings. He apologized, but that was when I was still bitching at him. He was being extremely sarcastic and didn't even mean it - it was more of an "I said I'm sorry it's all my fault again so please leave me alone now" apology. If that makes sense.
Anyway, I feel like if I'm the one that breaks this stupid silent treatment, it might go over like what I said to him before didn't really matter. But I WANT us to talk about it and work thorugh it.
What should I do? If I SHOULD talk to him, what do I even say?
message him and tell him you're sorry, and you'd like to speak to him again. he's probably waiting for you to make the first move... guys are stubborn.
18/female.
I've never tried marijuana, i've obviously heard a lot about it from health class and that, but I'm very curious about it. pretty much everyone i know takes a hit once in a while, some more than others, but i'm never around when they do.
I guess i'm just wondering if it's really worth a try. I told myself I would never try it; that i want to be able to grow old and tell my grandkids that hey, it really is possible to be straightedge your whole life, and you CAN say no.
My sister says I would really like the feeling because I'm pretty chill to begin with.
Any opinions?
you don't want to try it, so don't! it's a really good thing that you don't want to try it. i know you're curious, but it's not worth taking a drug for. maybe that's just my opinion, as i've never taken any drugs before, and i'm proud of that. i wouldn't say it's worth a try; you may be one of those people who become hooked on it, then that's a really bad thing! you don't want to have to rely on drugs.
im 4'11" & 17 + senior this year in highschool..
im not growing aanymore and i look like im 14. ive always looked really young, how can i look older :( honestly it really irrtates me and it doesnt help that i have a cusin the same age thats gorgeous and looks older + she wonly wears eyeliner :/
i've always looked younger than my age, I used to hate it, but trust me now i'm older I don't mind looking a little younger..I hope that when i'm old i'll still look younger than everyone else my age haha! usually hair cuts are a great indicator of how old you are...fringes can make you look older. so maybe a new hair style is in order. try different makeup, see what works best for you. shop for new clothes (there's always an excuse to shop) and find something thats right for you. good luck
16/f
junior
so im not popular, but im not not popular either
well there is this guy that sits by me in one of my classes, he is incredibly cute and so nice. hes a christian like me.
well he into football and (by judging) he seems like someone who would go out with cheerleaders since they are usually very pretty.
i like talking to him, we dont talk about much, but hes so nice.
i suck at flirting and im shy.
any advice?
how can i feel better about my self or see who hes into?
ps. i know noone at this school (i just moved here)
okay so you might be shy at first, but to overcome the shy-ness, you gotta talk to him! have a conversation with him, it doesn't matter what it is about.. and if you ever don't know what to say then smile! smiling gets you a long way trust me..
I went out with this guy months ago and he is pretty mean to everyone. We only dated for a month, but I still miss him. How do I stop missing him?
go out and enjoy yourself.. meet new guys (this always works!) it may not work straight away, but it will help little by little and soon you won't even be thinking of him...
basically i know my dads cheating. i dont think reallty that is with one women, i think its prostitutes. im 18.. ive known about this for years, but this year its hit me hard. My moom has no clue, and works nights. Basically, i believe he might be doing this becasue he doesnt feel loved from us, since me and my brother hardly talk to him, my brothers away at college, and my mom works nights, while he works days. It kills me to the deepest part in my heart, and knowing that i am the only one who is holding this secret is killing me knowing my dads a lie and i have to hold a secret from my mom. I cant tell her because i have the strongest feeling in the whole world that he would hurt himself or kill himself. my parents are almost 50, and i just dont think i could possibly stand seeing them go through a divorce.
my biggest dilema is should i say something, but if i tell my dad our relationship would go further down the drain, because i have no relationship at all. it kills me to know that someone i used to be soooooooo close to is now just a lie in my life and could possibly feel not loved, but its hard to show my love when were already so far apart and i know everything hes doing and seen him lie to me not be there for me.... so if i say something to him then im afraid he'll take action to hurt himself..
If i dont say something, im sooo scared guilt will catch up to him and he'll kill himself, or he'll get caught with a prostitute.
its a circle, and i have no answer. ive been to counseling, talked to my moms best friend, everything. this is really affecting my life and i just dont know what to do. i neeed help please.
i'm sorry to hear that, it sounds like you're having a hard time.
i know that you think you are the only one who knows about this, but maybe you aren't. your mom could possibly know about it, but is also keeping it a secret to keep the family together.
i think you should ASK your dad, not TELL. ask him if there is anything going on - this gives him the opportunity to own up. if you don't have much relationship to begin with, then you aren't going to lose anything by trying.
i'm starting to think i might be slighly bi. i love my boyfriend to death, and i know i could never go out with a girl. i couldn't even hook up with one. i don't even like hooking up with guys. but when i'm drunk with my girlfriends or something, i always end up kissing them. i heard that drunk actions are sober thoughts, but i don't think about kissing girls when i'm sober. and also, most of my friends know that i'll admit that i think boobs are pretty. i don't know why, but they just are, and i like having them. my friends also know i'll be the first to admit that girls are absolute bitches, myself included, and i'll never go out with one, like i said earlier. does it sound like i'm bi or what?
no, you aren't bi. think about this: how many times have you done something you regretted when you were drunk?
if you're anything like me, that's quite a lot.
alcohol brings out different sides to people. if you are sober, and having thoughts of kissing/dating girls then that would be different. p.s. I like having my boobs too! =D
Well to make a long story short, my boyfriend of 2.5 years had these group of girls that he was all best friends with BEFORE we were together. I've always hated these girls because they're stereotypical, well to put it nicely, home-wrecking sluts. Well, when we very first started dating, he broke up with me after 3 weeks because I didn't like him talking to them still, and he knew I hated them. The night he broke up with me he hung out with all of them, and they posted pics of him and them on facebook, with the girls all over him. I later found out he lost his virginity to one of them, like a year before us getting together. 3 months after this we got back together, and have been on and off since. My question is, how do I get over this situation? I know I'm better than these girls in more ways than one, so jealousy isn't the answer. I just really can't get past the crap that happened, and I know I really can't be mad for stuff that happened before we were even talking, so don't bash me for that. I really just need some advice on how to put this crap behind me? It's really tearing us apart.
Thank you.
sometimes you shouldn't let other people get in the way of things, but everyone is the same; we all get slightly jealous, some more than others. don't worry about it, I have been through a similar situation (there was only 1 girl not a group) and I feel like I have overcome it. you need reassurance from your boyfriend. you need to know exactly how he feels about you and how he feels about them. once it's in your head, it's going to be pretty hard to get it out. I hate to say it but sometimes things like this can't be resolved. it's not your fault, it's the whole situation. the best thing to do is to completely ignore those girls, and pretend to your boyfriend that it doesn't bother you... eventually you'll believe it yourself that you aren't bothered by it.
Okay so here's the thing guys. I really need help. Okay im 18 years old and i feel like im wasting my life away with all this technology. So i need some help with not using my cell phone...this include txting/calling/getting ringtones..lol,and ect and i also need help with not logging on to FACEBOOK every 2 seconds!!! I mean in stongly beileve that i cant stay focused with anything anymore and its driving me insane! So if i can go eleven days without tempting to pick up my cell phone and txting or even replying to a txt msg then i will feel like i got some freaking will power. Oh and if i can also go eleven days without checking my facebook or even up dating my status then i will feel even better. So if you guys have some real WORKING techniques then i will FOREVER thank you..lol......PLEZ AND THANKS
well firstly, you need to think of what things you like doing apart from going on Facebook, texting etc. I noticed that when I started the gym, I didn't text half as much as I did when I didn't go. what hobbies do you have? focus and spend more time on these. everytime you want to log onto Facebook, watch a DVD, read a book or do something else you enjoy doing. once you have done that for the first 2/3 days, it will be really easy to continue it.
a guy i liked since the beginning of high school recently got a girlfriend. i used to think he was the cutest thing and now i just dont see it anymore. like i look at his pictures and i don't see the cutness i once saw. does this mean i'm getting over him even though i feel like i might fall for him again after i see him when school starts?
it can go either way...in some cases that would make some girls want him more!! but it's a good thing that you don't.. your crush is just starting to fade..he isn't desirable anymore! when school starts again you may find him attractive, but it won't be the same attractive-ness as before.
Me and my boyfriend have along distance relationship, he lives in a different country. I have cheated on him twice and told him the next day and I am trying to change and I know I can. But how do i prove that to him when we can't even be around each other and hang out.
well he has given you another chance, so deep down he must believe that you can change. you have to show a new side to you. show him more affection, i know that's difficult when you can't kiss/cuddle every night...explain how he makes you feel and how lucky you are to have him, and how forgiving he is for giving you another chance. don't lie though, if you are going to cheat on him again then don't say you won't else he will lose all respect for you.
I have a boyfriend and I have a guy friend. I have been friends with this guy since we were in second grade and we talk about everything. I talk to my boyfriend about things too, but I talk to my friend about a lot and I feel more comfortable talking to him. My boyfriend said that its cheating because I talk to my guy friend when Im having problems with my bf or something else, I also hang out with him, but we have never done anything. I have never dated my friend and we have never liked eachother. We are like brother and sister and I love hanging out with him, but people say thats cheating. We talk, go out and play fight. We have never kissed or anything. One time my boyfriend got mad because I said I was worried about my friend and I kinda took care of him when he got into a fight, he got hit in the face with something and he had broken bones in his face and the doctors couldnt do anything for free, he was in pain so I stayed with him for a few days, to take care of him and then my bf accuses me of cheating. Is this cheating?
that is not cheating. you obviously have a very insecure boyfriend! you aren't doing anything different with your guy friend that you were do with a girl friend. if you were to look after a girl friend who had been in a fight would that mean you're cheating? (ask your boyfriend that!) the answer is no, there is nothing wrong with the friendship you have with your guy friend. sometimes no matter how much you tell a guy that you like him more than your guy friend, they just won't believe you, but give it another go. give him a few compliments, tell him how happy you are with him but his insecurity is drifting you apart. good luck
I do not deal well with change. I go to a camp, that I wait the whole school year for. This summer was my 10th summer, and a special one cause next year i have to work there. I dont get to do all the stuff I did this year.. next year. I am not excited for school. I miss my friends, but I am gonna miss my camp friends even more. I just dont deal well with the transition and I've never been good with it. This is the last week, and once the last day comes, I always go into a depression for about a week. Nothing makes me feel better. What can I do to not make me feel so sad?
nobody deals with change well, it's hard for all of us especially when you are going to miss your friends. you have to cherish the moments you have had there...take as many pictures as you can, and stay in touch with your friends. just because you won't be with them every day it doesn't mean you won't stay in contact. tell your camp friends how they feel because they'll tell you they feel the same way as you! you just have to stay positive and concentrate on other things, find something new to do, a new hobbie, something you'll enjoy and take your mind from it..but remember all the good times you had at camp. p.s. i don't think anyone is excited for school! :P good luck.
I am going to be giving away my laptop pretty soon and all the social network sites have my e-mail and password stored. does that make sense? like when i want to log on to facebook, i just have to click on the e-mail space and it will show my e-mail and when i click on it it automatically types in my password. is there anyway i can delete all that so the next users won't hack my accounts?
it depends what kind of laptop you have, e.g. what internet you are using. usually, the history is somewhere under safety, then "delete browsing history" this should delete everything, passwords saved etc...but maybe not email addresses. (to delete email addresses, i just made up a pretend one like abc123@hotmail.com and tried to log in e.g. facebook with a password and it cancelled out my email address and saved the abc123 one)
here's a website with some help:
http://www.computerhope.com/issues/ch000510.htm
16/F
So I joined 'twitter' about a year ago. I joined a thing called "Fake Life." Its where you make an account as a "fake celeb" and roleplayed with others. I started to talk to this boy,Forest, and we became best friends then started to date(fake life boyfriend.) Six months later and we are still talking and getting to know eachother in Real Life. I know where he lives, what he looks like, what his family look like, his dogs name, where he goes to school and he knows the same about me. One of his friends who also have a "fake life" account told me Forest loves me. When Forest got on, I confessed that I loved him too and we were happy. But he said we could never date in real life because of the distance.I live in Iowa and hes in California. I was hurt but it was true. But after that he confessed he hated every single boy in Iowa cause they have more of a chance to be with me then him. I told him thats not true. We want to meet in real life so badly but I cant afford a trip. I really want to tell my parents about it cause they could help but they could also get angry and keep us apart. I really want to know how I should tell them.
I know this may seem wrong but I dont care.
Please help me and Im sorry if this is confusing, its just been bugging me.
x
i don't want to sound a bore, but do you really know this guy? i mean you hear lots of scary stories about people who meet up from online sites. but to be fair, you also hear good stories! firstly, if you know who this guy is, you've been on cam or what not then fair enough it's your life...just make sure you stay safe. i would definitely tell your parents about this..obviously i don't know your parents but i am sure that most parents would be supportive. if you are going to meet up with him, i would choose to meet up in your city/town, where you are familar with everywhere...and then suggest that next time you can visit him in california :) it's a fair way of doing it and that way you can really get to know him. i hope it works out for you and good luck
20F. I'm going to come out and say this, if you're just going to criticize me for wanting to have fun with a guy, don't even bother I just need advice on how to make this situation happen!
So a few weekends ago I hooked up with this guy Nick, we didn't have sex he basically only fingered me and we made out ..for a long time. Anyways the time we were texting he forgot to save my number because he had been drinking but I still have his.
I had a good time last time we hooked up, pleased me like no other haha but thats not the point. My parents are leaving this coming week, and I'm going to have some people over and I definitely want him to come. I never usually text guys first, I'm too scared of rejection, who isn't? But would it be weird to say something like: Hey Nick it's Linds i'm having people over you should come!
But what if he can't? I want him to know that I wanna have fun with him again, if you know what I mean. I just feel stupid texting him first, and he doesn't have my number since he forgot to save it which is even worse. Last night he texted my friend telling her to come to a party and to bring me but we couldn't! :( so I'm sure he would wanna see me but whats a good way to go about this situation??
your idea sounds good :) also tell him that you had a good time last time you were together (but don't sound desperate) say you'd look forward to seeing him! if he can't make it then explain that you'd like to meet up with him some other time when you're both free.. ask him if he'd be interested and decide between yourselves when you're going to meet up for "fun" ha :) good luck.