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Why can't I be happy without a boy??
Hello, I'm a sixteen year old girl, sophomore. Let's just say I've been through A LOT of hurt dealing with guys... Being used, hit, pressured, guilted, dumped, cheated on, objectified, lied to, played with... Yeah. I've only dated two guys but jeez I don't think I could have picked a worse two. The worst was probably being guilted and physically forced to do certain things... Like beyond making out. In one of my relationships I completely lost who I was. By the end the guy admitted that he only liked me when we were hooking up. That's the only reason he stayed with me. I'm still getting over him. In between those two bad relationsips and after (now) I have clinged to boys... I don't know what it is but I've always felt like I've needed to be involved with a boy to be "somebody" and I think that's the problem. Since my break up I've gained a lot of self confidence. Almost all of my friends have think I've healed but I haven't. I still cry every single night. And there are times when even I think I've healed but the next second I feel like shit again. I've recently started to attach myself to one of my guy friends. We used to text everysingle day but he's recently been distant and I don't know why. Maybe I'm driving him away? I keep telling myself I like him though... even when I know he probably doesnt like me back and I don't even think I like him to be honest... I just need a decent guy to think about when I try to fall asleep at night. But I'm fooling myself... I'm just so tired of all of this. Of needing boys. Its been eight months since me and my last boyfriend have broken up. I've done everything to keep myself busy. I have amazing friends that I hang out with every single weekend, cheerleading practice everyday, and kick boxing and yoga tuesdays and thursdays, and tennis on sundays. Plus I have a 4.0 in honors classes so I'm always busy with school work. I've tried so hard to keep my mind off of guys and to be independent and not rely on them but I can't... and I just don't know what else to do. It's like I don't feel perfect with myself unless I have a boy I know (or I can even pretend) cares about me... Socially, school-wise my life is perfect. I couldn't ask for better. I'm comfortable with how I look and I love my body but I have this need to be cared about my a boy and it makes me sick. Why can't I love myself and be completely happy without a boy?
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From what I've read you seem like an amazing person. Boys really are into athletic girls and girls who work hard. While it seems hard at first realize you are young. You have so many more things to experience and a lot to see. Any guy would be lucky to have a girl like you and you don't need to settle. Think about all you have going for you. Cheerleader, tennis player, top student. It's all good. Just be patient and sooner than later a guy who loves you will come around. Just relax and enjoy life. You are capable of things many others wish they were capable of. Good luck and remember to have fun.
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I have quite a few friends who are the same as you. They cannot be alone - they need to be in a relationship. And i've learnt from them. You NEED to be happy on your own, and I know you know that but you gotta make it happen. Instead of focusing your life around guys, focus on something else. You're only 16, you have the rest of your life to meet guys! Concentrate on what you need to right now such as school, friends, hobbies. Once you've learnt to be happy on your OWN, you'll meet the right guy and you won't feel so scared.
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