Member Since: January 24, 2012
Answers: 16
Last Update: January 29, 2012
Visitors: 1962
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I am sixteen. My boyfriend and I are going to be together for six months on February 4th. I have a lot planned out for our special day: a movie, dinner, and a gift. I'm giving him an acoustic guitar, because all he ever talks about when we go to my godmother's (who owns a lot of guitars) is wanting an acoustic guitar. I plan on getting it for cheap but in good condition. I also plan to give him a book I made him. I write a lot, and so I wrote down from my view how I felt about him before, all the events that happened throughout our six months, and how I felt about him, as well as all the things I love about him. I am usually a big gift-giver, but usually I run out of ideas. He is also a very creative, thoughtful person. We get along great and have a few skirmishes here and there, but overall we have a good trust and a strong relationship. He's really sweet and kind and I can be myself when I am around him. I just love feeling comfortable. But we do have our flaws as a couple, and individually. I'm insecure, paranoid, and I get very mad easily. He can be very dumbfounded at times, and tends to say a lot of things that are very hurtful, but does not mean to make it seem this way.
However, he expressed he did not know what to get me for our six-month anniversary. It hurt a little, because I listen attentively and knew exactly what to get him. But for me, I actually have to say things to him promptly instead of dropping hints easily. Now, I have a question. I'd prefer you not be too harsh with me, but do I have a right to be upset about this? It upsets me that he doesn't listen. I mention things I've always wanted before, and sometimes it just gets to the point where I say something and he doesn't even respond, and I go to class feeling like shit some days, but that barely happens anymore. I told him to forget about giving each other gifts since it's such a struggle for him to find something I want, even if I give him several hints. It hurts. Any advice, and am I being too sensitive or nit-picky? Thanks. (link)
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First off, you are way too young to be letting his responses to you affect you in this way. If you are going off to class upset because he isn't responding to you in a certain way, tells me you are giving too much power to stuff that doesn't really matter.
The first thing you should know about men is that they DO NOT take hints very easily! I was married for 11 years and it took a good 5 years before he actually figured out the kind of stuff I wanted for gifts, but as always, it is the thought that counts. I think you see his lack of knowing as lack of thoughtfulness, but trust me, most guys are dense when it comes to romance. It is a learned thing not an innate thing:)
Women are better at figuring out the kind of gifts guys want because we tend to hang on every word our guy says. It's just how we are programmed, so do not take his not knowing as a sign he cares less for you than you do for him.
I would suggest putting off gifts until your first year anniversary! Take the pressure off of both of you and just spend the day together doing something you both enjoy.
I hope this helps!
PS I totally understand WHY this bothers you, but as an older woman, I can tell you it shouldn't.
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Just before Christmas I met a guy at a party and we hit it off. Over the Christmas period we were both at home from university and for weeks we talked all the time. He made it clear that he liked me and when we got back to university we started dating. At first, I was very hesitant to get into anything serious and he was the one pushing for a relationship. Now it seems that the roles have reversed because he is suddenly telling me he thinks we need 'space'. This has come after spending nearly every day together for the past three weeks. To all intents and purposes, we are a couple and we have both agreed not to see other people.
I'm hurt that he is suddenly putting the brakes on. We've both made it clear we want a relationship and we are effectively in one, so I'm confused that he wants to 'cool it down' now. I'm tempted to cut my losses and end the whole thing because my last relationship recently ended with me getting hurt and I don't think I could deal with a repeat so soon.
What should I do? (link)
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Why don't you just ask him what's up? If you both are mature, college students, you should be able to discuss your status and come to some sort of agreement.
You also state that you have been together non-stop. Maybe it's too much of a good thing? There is also the possibility that after spending so much time together, he has gotten turned off by something you do or say.
But the bottom line, is you deserve to know exactly what to expect. Listen closely to his answer and accept what he says. If he acts all vague after you ask, it may be wise to just cut him off until he can treat you with the respect you deserve. But you won't know what you're dealing with until you ask:) Hope this helps.
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Well my ex's best friend came up to me and said that he wanted me back... i just dont know if i still really like him. he gets a little phisical i mean most the time its pokes and grabing whitch i dont mind at all but then he will get a little carryed away, he will kind of shake me and the other day he lightly pushed me while i was walkin down the stairs i almost fell and he was saying he was sorry and he kept hugin me... so should i take him back???
please help!!! Thx!! :)
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It seems to me if he is sending his friend to tell you he wants you back, then he is too immature to have a girlfriend anyway. Not to mention that all of those things he is doing to you are abusive and can lead to worse things later.
I would ask myself what it is about me that allows some guy to pinch, poke and shake me. Surely, you must think you deserve better than this. If you do, then please do NOT even consider taking him back. And if you don't, then talk to an adult you can trust and try to figure out why you have low self esteem. You deserve way better than that!
You don't mention your age, but I assume you are young! I am not going to tell you to focus on other things and not boys, because I know that isn't always that easy to do! But, you won't be able to meet a nice guy who is worth your time if you are letting jerks swarm around you.
So ya, tell this guy to buzz off and spend your time with genuine people who are really kind.
Hope it helps!
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i got my period two days ago i told my realmom but she doesnt live with me she lives eight states away so i have to tell my step mom insted how do i do it i dont feel comfertable talking to her about it. (link)
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I, and so many other women, have been through what you are going through now! It can be scary, embarrassing, and very personal, so I understand you not feeling comfortable talking about it. But, you know, you're going to have to discuss it with your step mom or dad, sooner or later, so they can help you get the things you need and be there for you if you have cramps etc.
Do you think it would be helpful for your real mom to help you tell your dad and step mom? Or maybe you have another relative (aunt/grandma) etc that can support you through it?
If not, just remember that you are not alone and that nearly all girls go through this. It is completely natural and no one should judge you for it. So, just get up the nerve, sit her down, and tell her. I am sure it really won't be that big of a deal once it is off your chest.
Hope this helps!
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Im only 13, and I have bad family problems. I dont remember when I started to not feel emotions, I just did.
- I laugh and cry, but I normally stop halfway through, when I relise i dont feel humour or whatever.
- I get hungry and go searching for food, but I dont FEEL hungry, same when Im angry sad happy or watever.
- I have never told anybody about this, and my parents have no idea... i think
- I always seem to have miniture black out things where my vision gos all dark for about 10 seconds... ( Dont know if this caused it or watever..
- But in a way I dont want to feel emotions.... It hurts when you do... (link)
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Hey you:) I am sorry that things are going so crappy for you. I understand what it is like to grow up in a home with "bad family problems", and even though you don't go into detail, I can imagine what may be happening.
You say that you haven't told anybody about this and it makes me kind of sad because there has to be somebody close to you that you can share this with. No? I know it may be scary to reach out, but this is the best possible thing you can do for yourself.
There is no need to be alone. Think about it: If you can write a letter to a stranger on the internet and someone (me) cares enough about you to answer it, then there are more people in your life (who actually know you)who will want to help you too. A teacher? Friend? Church member? Doctor? Friend's parents? What about your own parents? Can you talk to them or another relative?
I am not a doctor, but it seems that you are dealing with more than you are capable of by yourself right now and that is making you depressed and isolative ( wanting to be by yourself). Since you are having black out symptoms and using food to help cope, and those are both medical issues, you need to trust someone enough to help you get the help you need.
Please talk to an adult you trust and let them know about your physical symptoms as soon as possible. If you need to talk, I am here. Take care.
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My husband and I just got married in October and he looked really young he said he was 22 but I looked on his profile and it said he was 42. I'm 19 so he's old enough to be my dad almost. He's been married before and he has 4 kids but his wife and kids left him and never came back to him. I know he's too old for me but I love him and I don't wanna leave him even if he lied to me. I asked him if his profile was right he said yes. Since he lied to me what do I do about it ? Should I keep him or devorce him ? But I hate to leave him he's so sweet and caring. (link)
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Sweet heart, you are wayyyyy too young to be married and especially to some old dude. I can say that because I am 42, and I would have nothing in common with a 19 year old. This guys is kinda skeezy. He may be sweet and caring now, but he lied to you!! I don't get how you could have believed a 42 y/o man was 22. Did he look that good? He may be supporting you, so it may seem like a good life, but you are way too young to settle down. Go to school. Have some fun. And when the time comes for you to get serious, choose a man close to your age that loves you for more than just being a beautiful, young, woman. We all age, looks fade, this old fool will replace you. Trust me.
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17/F
Me and this girl were really good friends, I told her things about a guy i used to be friends with a few years back, a lot of "secrets/personal information" And she promised not to tell anyone about it especially him. Well she ended up texting him all the time, and tried to become his friend. Then one day when I wasn't at school went up to him and said "you really need to text her she complains to me about you all the time" My best friend told me that he overheard their conversation. So i texted her after i found out to ask her why she did that and she freaked out saying that my best friend was a liar and all this stuff. then went to bed. I was going to forgive her if she said sorry within the next few days, but she didnt she freaked out about it more and turned it around on me like it was my fault and now we arent friends anymore. It's been almost 3 months and I kind of miss her, I don't know if it's because all of our friends are friends besides us, which makes things difficult sometimes. I just wish she would apologize to me, what should I do? Try and be her friend again, or what? (link)
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Nope, you and this girl aren't really good friends.
I am not sure if you haven't ever had any friends treat you well, or if she really put on a good act for awhile, but she is a shady friend.
True friends don't lie, start drama, deny being jerks, freak out, or ignore you.
In fact, she may have been using you to get closer to him by acting all sweet until she had enough reasons to talk to him.
I can see her doing that as she seems really dramatic and she isn't trustworthy. You are better off without her because she has some pretty messed up behaviors.
You deserve better. I agree with the other writer, zip your lip when it comes to secrets.
Nothing good ever comes from gossip.
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I'm a fifteen year old female and i am currently taking celexa and seroquil for my severe depression. i was talking to someone else who also has depression and he says he doesn't take medications and only takes vitamins and exercises so that he doesn't feel that way anymore. is it possible for me to try this? i'm not fond of the idea of taking celexa and seroquil because of the side effects, such as defects in a child that i might have in the future, and i really want to have kids.
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I agree with the other writer. Please do not stop your meds cold turkey. That is a very dangerous idea. Having said that, you don't mention why you want to stop, and I assume it isn't just because someone you were talking to said they did. There are many reasons for not wanting to be on these types of medication, unwanted side effects, the way they make you feel, health reasons etc, so I completely understand that. However, the most effective treatment for depression, for most people, is a combined therapy of medication and counseling.
I hope you have been in therapy working through your issues. If not, chances are you will struggle with this until you do. It isn't easy, but once you begin, it does get easier and slowly you heal until one day, you're better.
I was on psychotropics and talk therapy for 18 months and it changed (saved) my sanity. That was 20 years ago and I have been fine since. I don't think I would have done so well with just medication alone. Toward the end of my treatment, I started to think about the next steps to getting off the meds.
A healthful diet and exercise regime are paramount in your recovery. I have maintained my sunny mood through feeding my body the nutrients it needs via whole, natural foods. Exercise will kick anxieties ass and keep you strong. The sun is your best friend! You need vitamin D, so take leisurely strolls.
Feed your mind and your soul. Engage in your friend's lives and treat people kindly. Good always comes back to us. Implement these changes in your life for a good six months and then work with your doctor to wean off the drugs.
You may find you never need them again. But if you do, treat it as a temporary way to get you back on track and not a lifestyle, please.
There is nothing wrong with getting the help you need to help yourself through a situation.
Good luck and message me if you need to talk.
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Hi I'm 16/f and I work with this guy who is one of my closest friends ever and one of the only people I trust. There's nothing I wouldn't do for him and he knows me better than most people, including my family.
Right well anyway a few days ago I was over his house and we kind of got with each other, which isn't a bad thing because we both we equally into it. As far as I'm concerned, if it never happens again I don't really care and if it does then it was a bit of fun. The only thing that I won't be happy with is if he makes it different between us as friends, cause I know for me it hasn't changed anything. In fact if anything it's made me more comfortable with him.
Anyway, I saw him yesterday and he didn't say a word to me... I've text him a few times and he replies short replies and just let's the convo die. This isn't unlike him normally, and he gets a bit depressed, but I don't know whether I should text him again? I miss not talking to him, we used to talk every day without fail, or am I just overreacting? I saw him this morning and everything was fine in person..
I'm not awkward about what happened at all, and I'm pretty much open to any way this could go in the future (though I'm a bit skeptical about a relationship, and I don't want to lose him as my friend). I'm just worried he'll be awkward about it. He's 19.
Any ideas what I should do? I miss talking to him :(
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Okay, well, he is a guy and guys get really weird when they are unsure of how their friend/latest hookup is feeling about things. He is probably sensing your anxiety. Guys respond to action over communication, so my advice is for the time being, say nothing. Just be. YOu may be sending out vibes without realizing it. You say you are not awkward about what happened at all, but you seem pretty tense and curious about what he is thinking. You may be reading more into it than is there because you are a girl and that is what we do:) I think you will find if you just act normal and don't make a big deal out of it, he will warm up. If you guys are going to get together again, it will happen naturally. If not, then you still have your friend. Text him and ask him to hang out and do something you would typically do, so he will see you are the same girl as you were before and chill. If you ever need to discuss it, it will come up on its own.
Hope it helps
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Last night I guess i was really tired, so i forgot to take out my tampon and I fell asleep with it in me. I put it in at 9 p.m. and woke up at 6:45 a.m. I had no idea I had a tampon in me (silly right) and then i put another one in while that was still in there. I went to school and at 12:00 I looked at the clock and realized I should change my tampon. I went to the lady's room and took out my tampon to find it to be not very bloody at all. I then found ANOTHER string in there. In my head i thought oh no... as I pulled out a really bloody tampon. I remembered applying it at 9 p.m. the night before but do not remember taking it out! So that tampon has been in m uterus for 15 hours.... I feel fine right now (7 hours later after removing the two tampons) but I am nervous that my anxiety will make me think i have tss and give ma the symptoms/: my mom refuses to bring me to the dr's because she says its expensive and she claims I will be fiiiiine. i know tss is rare, but i'm prone to things such as yeast infections, uti's etc.. could that make me prone to tss?? (link)
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I am sure by now, you have realized you don't have toxic shock, but I will answer anyway. I have done this and most of my friends have done this. Once, my boyfriend snuck in my room and jumped into bed and woke me up with a hard one and it took us a few minutes to realize my tampon was in! Mishaps happen.
If you develop toxic shock, you will KNOW. The symptoms are sudden and intense:
Sudden fever over 102°F (38.9°C).
A rash that looks like a sunburn.
Signs of shock, including low blood pressure and rapid heartbeat, often with lightheadedness, fainting, nausea, vomiting, or restlessness and confusion. Severe pain in an infected wound or injury.Other symptoms that may occur include:
Muscle aches and pains, stomach cramps, headache, or sore throat.
Skin tissue death (necrosis), which occurs early in the syndrome.
Skin tissue shedding, which occurs during recovery.
Pinkeye (conjunctivitis). This is common knowledge, but I pulled my source here -----> (http://women.webmd.com/tc/toxic-shock-syndrome-symptoms)
So unless this has happened, in which case get to the hospital stat, I am sure you are okay. Don't worry about it! It's really a common things. But, you probably won't ever do it again. I know I have always double checked since it happened to me!
Good luck!
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I have a friend who goes through depression..frequently. Her boyfriend is an ass, and that's basically the root of it. Anyway, when she gets depressed, she completely ignores me. She isn't mad at me or anything, this just how she reacts. This will sometimes last for a month or two. I really miss her, & I want to help her, but I have no idea how. I've never really suffered through any kinds of continuous depression/sadness so I don't know what to do.
I know the 'obvious' answer is to just be there for her. But, besides that.. I know she has her phone, because she plays games & I can see like that she goes on it sort of thing. & that she just isn't taking my texts. What do I say to her?
I can't go over to her house either, she recently moved, & it's too far to make a casual trip. Plus, I'm a college student & dirt poor.
She's a senior in high school by the way. (link)
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Hey there:) I think you should invite her out for a walk or lunch and have a chat with her. Let her know that you can sense she is going through hard times, and that you won't pry, but that you are completely there for her any time she wants to talk or needs a distraction.
You should also let her know very gently that you feel sad that you and her are not as close as you were. Tell her you don't blame her,it just makes you miss her and you hope you can spend more time together.
She may be so absorbed in her own pain, she doesn't realize how she is affecting others that love her. You letting her know may be enough to make her aware of how isolated she has been.
If you ever sense she is in danger, trust your gut. If you believe she may hurt herself, you must tell several adults so enough people know that she may get some help. Don't worry about her getting angry with you. She will realize you were in the right once her head gets straight. Without treatment, chances are she will just fall deeper in her darkness.
I have suffered through depression through out my life. Most it was simple, situational sadness that I was able to work through on my own. But twice, I was deeper than I realized and I owe my recover to a few really great, persistent friends.
You also need to discuss how this is affecting you with someone. It is really hard to see our friends suffering and it can leave us feeling hopeless and not very useful. It isn't your fault when you have tried all you can to get her to open up, so please remember that. We are all prone to sadness, so take the time to talk to someone--friend, family, counselor, teacher, or other trusted adult, about your feelings. It helps.
I hope it all works out for you both. Contact me if you need to talk.
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I have been with my boyfriend for almost two years now and i would say we are perfect and plan on marriage after we are done with college. I love him to death but he is breaking me and it isnt his fault at all. He has terminal brain cancer and won't be cured. Only his parents and I know, not even his brothers because he just doesnt want anyone to treat him any different. I cant talk to anyone and wont, but its like im cutting myself off from reality because i can't handle the fact. Yesterday i guess you could say he died, but was brought right back. He fell unconcious with no pulse/heartbeat. What can I do about any of this, its like iv gone mute i dont even really talk around people anymore. What do i do about him too, my life is done if he dies. Any help on anything is highly appreciated, but no i will not go to a therapist. 18/f (link)
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Wow. Pretty heavy duty stuff. First, let me say, I feel for you. That is a hell of a lot of crap to heaped upon such a young woman. Frankly, it fucking sucks. But you know that, right? I want you to think about something really carefully.
Do you love this man enough to hunker down, get real brave, and see him through?
If you don't, then you need to move on. He is asserting that he needs normalcy. If you stay, but are fucked up, it is going to affect him on a daily basis. If you leave, it will hurt first, but he will recover and hopefully find some peace before he dies. However, if you truly love him, you need to stay.
Being with him is going to be really tough some times and equally as scary, but, you can make him the happiest he can possibly be in the time he has left. I think you should talk to your friends, family, or even strangers online about what you are dealing with. You seem really strong, but a person can only take so much and hold so much in.
I won't lie, and I have been through this personally, It is going to break your heart when he dies. But, I think you will find comfort in knowing you loved him with everything you had to give. And you really don't know how long that is.
You didn't mention how much time they estimate he has, but that is a good thing.
Sometimes doctors get stuff wrong and sometimes shit happens, you never know what the future holds. I think you should stay with him and love him like crazy, but at the same time, make sure other areas of your life are full. In the event you lose him, you will have support and other reasons to get up each day, which may be really hard for awhile.
A short time of laughter, happiness, romance, joy, and connection far out weigh a long wave of the mundane.
If you need to talk, contact me. Good luck:)
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Idk if it makes a difference but im 16 and my boyfriend is 18. I have been dating him for a little more then eight months. He seems like the perfect guy and i love him as well as him me. Of course we have hade makeout sessions and all, but im still a virgin. He's never forced it on me to have sex and but when we get really hot when making out, he starts touching and its not bad until i have to push him away. We havent really talked about it but the few times i have tried he doesnt understand why i dont want to. It might be the fact that he isnt a virgin. I need help...how do i bring up this conversation. How do i explain that its important to me that i want to keep my virginity for a while longer maybe after we have been together for a year or longer (link)
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All the other answers are sweet, but I am going to be realistic with you here. A man can be the sweetest guy in the world, respectful, kind, and very good to you, but if you are making out with and getting him all hot and bothered, it doesn't make him a monster because he wants to have sex with you:)
So, don't buy into the bs that if he "loves" you, he will wait for you. Pretty basically, men need sex.
So now that we have that out of the way, I do not think you should ever have sex with anyone for any reason other than YOU want to. So do not let anyone manipulate you, guilt you, or frustrate you into giving up your virginity. You do not want to regret it the first time you make love. From what you said, I don't think he is putting any intense kind of pressure on you, so that is good. But we still have a problem.
I do not know about your state, but some states would consider it statutory rape if you did have sex, even if it is consensual. So, check out the laws in your state. The consequence of jail time may be enough to make him wait. But assuming it is legal for you to be with him and you want to find a solution to this problem, there may be something else you can do.
If you feel that you love him and believe that you guys will go the long haul and if he is good to you always, You may want to consider going a little bit further with him, but stopping at intercourse. There are other things you can do to keep him satisfied until you are ready to take the next step.
I do not know you personally or the dynamics of your relationship, so I cannot advise you on what you should do, but just know that most women wish they would have waited until they were older to have sex. People mature at different rates, but considering the adult brain is not completely formed until he/she is 25 year's old, waiting until at least 18 isn't that long of a wait.
You will be older and it will be easier to deal with all the stuff that comes along with having sex. It is a huge responsibility and one that will affect you emotionally, psychologically, and sometimes, in the case of disease and pregnancy, physically, possibly for the rest of your life.
Don't be afraid because it is amazingly beautiful when you are with the right person at the right time. So whatever you do, be safe and make sure it is you that wants it.
I hope this helps!
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I am on birth control but about 3 or 4 weeks ago the guy I was seeing came inside me. I figured it was fine since I was on the pill and my friends did it like that and never had a problem.
Well my period was three days late and so I took a pregnancy test which originally looked negative, but after it sat for a little while a faint positive sign started to show. But I got my period later that day, although it's light like it usually has been since I got on the pill. But my period has never been late since starting the pill.
Am I pregnant? I'm so confused! Please help! (link)
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First off, do not regard the pregnancy test. If left to sit, they will sometimes change colors,showing a false positive, so only go by what it said when it was first developed. I do not believe you are pregnant. Of course, you should see a doctor and get a blood test to confirm that.
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So me and my boyfriend have had a rocky couple of weeks and valentine's day is coming up and I wanna surprise him and let him know I really care. We've been together for about 8 months and we're pretty serious. What do guys really want for valentine's day? like i really have no idea. I wanna try to make this special. Also this is his first valentine's day with a girlfriend and he's actually pretty excited about it hah.
we're both 19 btw. thanks! (link)
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Awe! Well, since things have been rocky, you guys may need some reconnection time.
Plan something intimate where you have prepared some of his favorite foods and either have a picnic in a beautiful spot or cozy up the house. Just spend the evening eating and talking and making out for sure:)
Turn off the tv, the video games and cell phone etc and just focus on each other the entire time. Wear something sweet so you look and feel sexy. This may come off to some women's libbers as too Stepfordesque, but the cold hard truth is that men love sexy, beautiful women who present them food and pay attention to them.
I am not advocating doing this every day of the year, unless that is your thing, but really sweeten it up for Valentine's. I know you are 19, but a mature, sexy evening alone to just lounge around and connect, will have amazing results. I would keep the conversation light and remind him often of why he is special to you. I am sure you will have a lot of fun. Good luck!
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I have come to the point where I cant write, concentrate, derive pleasure from anything, have difficulty remembering things, have blurred vision, eyes seriously hurt, sometimes have severe headaches, most of the time dont know what I am talking especially with my elder brother. I have nt got father and mother I live my elder brother and his wife since 6 years. I am 26/M an MBA had a successful career but now since six months things have been deteriorating. I cant bear it any more. Plz tell me the easiest way to commit suicide which hurts less and is quick and doesnt make much of a mess. (link)
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I have had some sort of fascination with suicide since I was a teen. I get to the point some times where I am just over it. I am not afraid to die. BUT I never do it. Why? Because that is a completely fucked up thing to do to the people who love you and that is the only reason. Of course, I can get pissed off at them for keeping me here, but who I am to cause that kind of sorrow to someone who loves me. I am just not that selfish and fucked up.
So, I push past. Usually, something amazing happens and I totally forget for awhile why I think death would be kinder than life. It usually entails a new lover and some exciting thing happening in my life. Even though the really great times can some times be few and far between, they are a zillion times better than the worse day is bad. You know?
If it has been awhile since you have felt such happiness, then I offer this advice: change some shit! Okay, I know, you're thinking easier said than done, but ya. It is simple. Just do it. How? Okay, like this.
I know I do not fit in like the average person. Life has always seemed as if it was different for me than my friends and family. It is hard to really put into words, but I just don't belong. I am either different or I have some jacked up personality disorder that makes me "think" I am a lone soul, but either way, real or imagined, it affects me.
Stuff that makes other people all happy and contented just annoys me. So, I have to find other things to amuse me, or, lessen my anxiety, in the very least. That usually entails me getting fed up with my existing life--partners, city, etc--and changing it all around. 4 years ago, I settled in a town I loathed because I knew I could afford it and I wanted to provide a stable home for my son. He had just come to live with me because his school was crap, and I knew I need to provide a steady pad so he could graduate high school. So for two years, I suffered in hell, but it was totally worth the sacrifice.
Then coming into the third year, I thought to myself,"Gia, you're kid is kicking ass in his classes and he is going to graduate soon, whatcha gonna do?" I thought about what cities I would love to be in and came up with Santa Cruz and San Francisco and I put myself in both. I had a web presents on local sites for both cities and started attending a lot of events in Santa Cruz, where I met great new friends.
Now, one-and-a-half years later, I have a boyfriend and a business in Santa Cruz, and life is pretty cool. For the time being anyway hahaha.
And in case you want to know, my son graduates next week and he still lives in the crappy town, but now my mother and aunt live in the house I used to feel trapped in. As you know, I am not normal, and they are perfectly contented to be there. So anyway, that is an example of just doing it. Don't let anything keep you back from getting a life that will bring you more sunshine than rain clouds. But take some safety measures if you do!
Change whatever you want, but don't dump friends and family unless they are very toxic.
You must keep your life-long friends because they love and support you, even if you don't realize it at times. Plus, those bonds tether you to the earth. I always keep my friends in my thoughts. I admit that Facebook actually acts like a grounding device for me as I can keep that contact with friends (IE reality) a steady thing in my life. You should also be realistic in your life change. Don't run off to the circus if you have no clown experience. You don't want to end up destitute and even more depressed! Take your time and plan it out. You don't need to be in a hurry. You will just have something really cool to look forward to longer! And the last thing? Be kind.
I know, and no I am not getting all touchy-feely! I just know that how you treat people has a direct effect on your feelings of well being. If you are a grumpy asshole, you're gonna feel like shit. Give people a chance to surprise you. I admit that I am not a huge fan of people in general, but it is true that when I treat them kindly, I can see a noted change in them. They get a sparkle in their eye and their affect softens. Ya, sometimes I just take it as a power trip--you know, how easy it is to make people react as you wish they would, but there is a lot of sincerity in my satisfaction for making someone's day a little bit sweeter. You never know.
They may have thoughts of ending it too, and your small gesture is enough to put it off a bit. I know this was long, and if it didn't bore you to death, then you missed your shot. You have to live. Sorry:)
Don't do that to those who love you and recognize the beautiful moments in life that make it all worth while.
Contact me if you need to talk.
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