I'm a christian, have been my whole life.. but all of a sudden.. I fear it! I quickly walk past the pictures of Jesus in my living room, i can't bring myself to read the bible or anything.. i suspect im feeling guilty about several things in my life, so obviously i should just confess,, but i cant bring myself to do it! I cant pray anymore! Something is holding me back! What do I do? I dont want to lose my religion compltely!
I also recommend the Chicken Soup for the Soul books, but I'll go one better and recommend a movie about a book. No reading required (unless you're still setting up your DVD player) and the movie is even fairly entertaining. I'm talking of course about "Conversations With God." Basically, it floats the idea out there that life is an ongoing conversation with God and the times in which you think He isn't speaking, are actually times you aren't listening or may have trouble hearing because of issues and concerns in your life. Also, read Footprints if you feel so inclined and try to keep in mind that whatever you're going through now, it will pass with time and God will always be waiting to pick up the conversation where you left off. Don't stress, though you may lose sight of God, He never loses site of you. Feel better.
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I have a friend and she was raped by a group of guys and now she's pregnant she keeps asking me what she should do and I really don't know what to tell her. She has no one else to turn to and I feel like I'm letting her down she needs my help and I don't know how to help her. What should I tell her?
Don't tell her anything, rather, don't make any decisions for her, except for one. Get her professional help. Talk to an adult that you can trust, a parent, a teacher, a counselor, or whoever. Help her to get the help she needs from someone who knows more about these things. I don't mind saying that beyond this and a bit of speculation I really don't know much about situations like these, but that's alright because there are people who do.
She will need to deal with whether or not she is going to keep the child in addition to dealing with all of the feelings from the rape and unless you think that you and she are qualified to deal with all of that, you need to get her help from someone who does. If you need further assistance, feel free to contact me via the email address on my advice column page.
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i've been doing drugs for a long time and i've done every drug that there is but my friends have been talking to me and i've been trying to quit i've been going through withdrawals and i want to do something soo bad but i promised i wouldn't and i really want to straighten my life out but i want the drugs soo bad i'm so confused i don't know what to do or how to deal with this what should i do?
The best thing you can do for yourself is get into a rehabilitiation program. They have a lot of experience dealing with this sort of situation. Also they might be able to give you something to ease the withdrawal symptoms. Drop me an email for help finding good programs in your area. My email is on my advice column page.
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About two or three months ago i went to a youth councelor to figure out why i had no friends, was lonely,depressed,angry and sometimes suicidal. They told me that it is because i worry too much about what people think about me and it causes me to have like an anxiety and stuff which made me lack the normal skills a person has for like comunicating with others which causes this friendless life. I was given three choices ither go on medication which i would never do, go to an organised activity with social workers and they would work with you and show you how to communicate and what not, and the other one was somewhat the same thing. Nither of the choices i had fit me well, so i decided to improve on it myself by not worrying about what people thought about me and talk to people and try to make plans to do something, and no matter how hard i try or what i do to try and improve nothing is working. All i want is to enjoy life in high school and have fun, i hate always thinking how my days sucked, my birthday is in 2 days and i wont get one happy bday at school, or have someone make me a card or anything like friends do at school so like i dont know just too much is running through my head and im getting ideas again and i just want to know how i can improve more or what to do....
Yours Truly:
Friendless
What your counselor may have missed is the simple fact that you are trying. In fact, you are probably trying to hard to make friends. On a subconcious level you reak of desperation. If you are really worth being friends with then why has no one else accepted you to a point where you are desperate to find acceptance? ...or so goes the thoughts of others anyway.
The best thing is to give up. What I mean to say, is give up on TRYING to make friends. Join 2 or 3 after school activities and every time you think about trying to be friendly to someone, just take a breath, step back for a second, and think about what you are really doing. Sure you want to make introductions to new people that you meet, but don't overdo it. Don't smother these potential friends with your presence. Also, compliment people, but not too strongly and not too frequently. Most of all, just keep showing up to these activities and keeping quiet if need be until these people get more used to your presence and accept you at least as a member of the group. From there you can invite them to hang out or they may even invite you themselves.
Never try to buy friends with stuff, be it candy or anything else. Just try not to seem so desperate, that's probably the biggest thing holding you back. You'll do fine once you get the hang of it. Remember, better to seem shy than be known as overbearing.
Happy birthday!
In fact, come to think of it. Definitely drop me a line, I am always looking for new friends!
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i have a friend and she is going through a really rough time she has always had a hard life but she always says she's fine and doesn't want help or people to worry about her, but her father beats her and she's been in the hospital soo many times because of it she's in the hospital right now and on life supports and it's possible that her father might have even raped her but she won't admit it's so hard to get things out of her and i'm really worried about her she does a lot of stupid things to try to get away from everything and i'm worried she's going to get really hurt or even worse die how do i help her?
You need to speak to a representative from your state's family Services. If you can't find that information, just go to the hospital where your friend is and tell them at the information desk that you need to speak to a representative of family services urgently. They keep social workers around the hospital most of the time so one will likely be there. Tell the social worker about your suspicions, why you believe this is the case, and about your concerns that your friend will end up dead if she goes back home. They will take care of the rest.
Just to say it, on the off chance that this "friend" is actually you, the same principle applies. Family Services is designed to handle this kind of situation and they are very good at it, you just have to give them at least an idea of what's going on.
Take care and good luck. You and your friend will be in my thoughts. You are very brave to bring this topic forward at all.
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I need to know if my husband is cheating.I am 23 and he is 20. We have a 4 month old son and have been married almost a year. He is working out of state( In Florida and I'm in Texas) and living with a bunch of his single friends. We had been having problems even before he left, but since he got there we have been fighting constatntly over the phone.If he decides he's done talking he will hang up and either turn his phone off or just ignore my calls and text messages. He always seems to be busy (working, eating, showering, going to the gym,ect.) There are times when I can't get a hold of him and he tells me he left his phone in the other room. We had an argument and he truned his phone off all night. I recieved a text message to my phone the next morning that read" sorry about last night. My baby's mom was calling all night so I turned my phone off." He claims it was his friends playing a joke and that they did teh same thing to another guy too. However, He was not even angery about it. He seemed to not care at all. Of course he denied cheating. That same day I discovered pictures of naked girls dancing on a bar on his phone while online. He says his brother took them because he didn't have a camera phone. What should I think? Is he cheating? How can I catch him when he's so far away? Your advice would be greatly appreciated.
I feel pain just trying to answer this question. Here's the deal, you guys aren't going to make it together living so far away. I'm not saying that long-distance relationships don't work, but you two need to be together during this very tumultuous time of your lives. Don't worry about the cheating for the moment. I'm serious, don't even worry about it, because saving the marriage is far more important at this time for your sake, for his sake, and for the sake of that baby. Tell him you two need to be together. If that means he comes back to Texas or that you go to Florida, it doesn't matter so long as you two are together. You two need to go to couples counseling as well, whether through a church or some other service it needs to be done. Whatever you do, don't pressure him or you might lose him from the sound of it. Just do what it takes to get you two together and your marriage back on track, I don't think you want to lose him now. Good luck, you will be in my thoughts. I really feel for you.
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I burnt my finger on the cooker around half an hour ago, ran it under the cold water tap until it stopped hurting and forgot about it. But it's just started to hurt really badly again. I put a cold compress on it and put some antiseptic cream on but it doesn't seem to be stopping the stinging. What can I do?
It's going to hurt for possibly as much at two days whenever you don't have ice on it. What's happened is that the nerve has been partially damaged so that until it starts to heal it doesn't know to stop feeling pain.
For comfort you could keep icing it to keep it numb, but make sure to take the ice off sometimes to ensure it gets proper blood flow.
Otherwise, this would be a great time to increase your pain tolerance by trying to block out the pain. You'd be amazed how much you can do if you keep calm, focus on breathing, and try to ignore the throbbing.
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i belive in no religion and i think i need a purpose in lif. does anyone know a good place for me to find about every religion since there is so many out there.
Where to start....
Your question is really a couple questions. To begin with you need not find a purpose in life specifically through religion or even spirituality. For all you or I know simply becoming a writer, working with children, or any other seeming mundane dream might be enough to keep you interested in life and getting up in the morning for the next 70 years. It certainly doesn't hurt to explore what's out there, I'm just saying that in the end all you need do to find purpose is follow your life dreams, some of which you may know already.
As for finding out about various religions, I highly recommend the "Dummies" books, except for "Spirituality for Dummies" which I personally found to be a dissapointment. I also recommend the "Idiots Guide to" books which are also very excellent. Additionally, see what religions your friends are and ask them to teach you about it. Visit religious services with them. If you have a handful of friends, you've got a pretty good shot at getting Christianity, Judaism, and maybe even Islam covered right there.
Finally, keep in mind that this is a long term proccess to which you may not find answers immediately. Chances are you will still be searching at least in college which gives you a great opportunity to try various cultural / religious clubs and take a variety of classes on the subject. Most of all, try to have fun while doing it. This search can seem a chore at times, but you must have faith in yourself and find joy wherever you can.
I've written a book on this topic: http://www.lulu.com/content/84844 - If you want a free copy, email me from my Advicenator page or something.
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i am a christian,but i relate much more to the catholic ways. Is it sacriligious to be from a different form of christianity before becoming catholic, and is there a procedure to take before u can be one?
I cannot speak for the specific sacraments involved, but from what I've heard Catholicism never turns down a new convert, be it from another form a Christianity or some other religion entirely. Sacriligiousness doesn't really come into play in this instance. You will probably have to go through First Communion and Confirmation.
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15/f i wway overdid my texting and so now i have to pay the bill its 300+ dollars and the only way i can pay for it is to get a job... right now im looking at sonic... but does any body know of any places that have jobs available for 15 year olds??
If you are 15 years old and the bill is in YOUR name, you probably don't have to pay it. You don't have a credit file till you turn 18 so what are they going to do to you? It might be possible that a 15 year old isn't even allowed to enter into a contract like that legally. Otherwise, good luck, you're going to need a job permit which you can get from school usually.
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ok ther is aguy at skool and we r friends.. he is always tells me thing that he doesnt tell other people ... and same thing i can tell him stuff like that to.. and we always talk on the fone 24/7..... and we always flirt .. i dont kno if he likes me .. i really do and how can i find out??
.....
??
Ask him out. Contrary to popular opinion, many people go out for months or even longer before they decide whether they are "in love with" or simply "have strong feelings" for another person. If that makes you too nervous, ask him out to a movie or something unromantic and innoccuous. If he is interested he's bound to give a sign eventually. Most teenage guys aren't really big talkers, so the fact that he listens to you for hours on end by itself bodes well in your favor. Good luck!
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sorry i didn't know where to put this so i just put it here .. well a few weeks ago i found out that i was pregnant. i decided that im going to have the baby but the problem is that i have an eating disorder. i know it's probably bad for the baby but i've been doing it for so long that i can't stop. Does anyone know how badly it can hurt the baby or what it can do to it?
14/f
Go tell an adult you trust. That's the hard part. The rest they will help you with. If you don't fix the eating disorder the baby will die and an untreated miscarriage can be fatal to the mother as well, namely you. I'm sorry that you have to go through something this difficult, especially when you are so young. You will be in my thoughts.
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my best friend is pregnet. i dont know what to do. i know she wants to keep it but she hasnt even told her boyfriend and she wasnt going to tell me but i found the strip in her room. I'm afraid that she wont be able to handle it and that her parents will be mad if they find out I've known this girl since i was 7 and were 14 now and she is so young that her parents would probly just kick her out. i dont want this to happen to her and i dont know if i should tell anyone she's not ready to have a baby at all and she cant get enough courige to go tell somebody about it so now im realy worried about what will happen if she doesnt tell. should i just go ahead and tell ppl and make things easy or should i just let her do it her way?
I would presume that someone else knows already and take a chance on telling a school counselor. That way, the school counselor can tell your friend's parents and she can get help and if confronted you can outright lie and say you didn't say anything if you want. Not the most ethical solution perhaps, but utilitarianism doesn't have to be.
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hey my lips are always dry and i dont know why. i have to lick them all the time to keep them wet. they arent chapt so i dont need chap stick, but what should i do? i rate high
You're probably dehydrated. Your body isn't going to bother hydrating silly little things like your lips when you desperately need water for more essential things like, oh, say, your heart and liver. Remember, in order to keep properly hydrated you need to drink roughly 8 glasses of water a day.
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everyone keeps tellin me i don't need to lose weight but i still feel i need to. does anyone know of someway to find average weight for height?
You have to ask your doctor on that one. Those weight / height charts are all out of whack. For example, I would be emmaciated at my "correct" weight because of my German bone structure which is so dense that it prevents me from floating, no lie. On the other hand, the child of an Asian person and Scandinavian person would likely frequently come up as underweight due to a large height and lighter bone structure. Even if you don't ask your doctor, that should give you somewhere to start from.
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I am an artist and was asked to pain a picture of Corona beer. Is it legal for me to paint brand names without infringing on copyright/trademark, etc?
Ask Andy Warhol.
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hey well im now 14, and embarringly i havnet had my period is this a bad thing?? I mean i havent know anyone that got it in high school , and like im embarrased to talk to my mom about it help me please
Just mention it to your doctor the next time you go. Remember, for doctors, genitalia, periods, and all that other "embarassing" stuff is just like socks or potatos. They see and hear about that stuff all the time and after a while it means nothing to them so at least you won't have to be embarassed there.
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It's my new roommates birthday tomorrow. She's going to turn 23, and she's been living with us for the past 2 months. She rents out a room in our house and goes to school in San Francisco. My mother, her and I have become really close and it feels like she's just like a sister to me now. We are going out to dinner tomorrow for her birthday because she has no family that lives around here. I have no idea what an appropriate gift could be to get her. I was thinking maybe I could make her a simple card or something. Any ideas? Thanks!
Take a bunch of pictures at the birthday party, then put them in a photo album and give them to her a week later as her gift. It will be a nice way to show her that she is really a part of your family and a good way for her to remember the good times you guys have together.
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A friend of mine likes my boyfriend. But she is going out with his best friend(we can call him Lee) She says she loves Lee but then tells other people she Loves my boyfriend and just likes Lee.. shes ubsessed with my boyfriend and flirts with him constantly in front of me.. how do i make her realize shes dating Lee not my boyfriend
I would take this issue from a different angle and talk to your boyfriend first. It is both your responsibility to take care of this issue for the sake of your relationship, but simply being snubbed by your boyfriend might be enough to get rid of this girl. Failing that, you and your boyfriend will have to work together to show her that this is not the proper way to behave. Good luck, people like this can get really annoying sometimes, let me tell you.
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Hey. I'm 13 years old and in 8th grade at the moment. Right now I'm registering for high school classes for next year. I'm definitely taking Latin 1. Since there aren't very many honors classes for freshmans, I think I want to take Spanish 1 also (it's not a honors class. I want to take it because I think I can use it a lot in the real world or w/e). My question is, do you think I should take 2 languages?
Thanks.
Yes, go for it. You can definitely do it. Though you will get some elements of the languages mixed up at first the younger you start learning a second language the easier it will be. Latin is great at helping you sound well-spoken and to understand the roots of other words, but Spanish is also a very important language to have some knowledge of in this modern world. Those are two great choices and I would go with both of them. Not to mention, that's going to look great on your college application.
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