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what do i do now ?
About two or three months ago i went to a youth councelor to figure out why i had no friends, was lonely,depressed,angry and sometimes suicidal. They told me that it is because i worry too much about what people think about me and it causes me to have like an anxiety and stuff which made me lack the normal skills a person has for like comunicating with others which causes this friendless life. I was given three choices ither go on medication which i would never do, go to an organised activity with social workers and they would work with you and show you how to communicate and what not, and the other one was somewhat the same thing. Nither of the choices i had fit me well, so i decided to improve on it myself by not worrying about what people thought about me and talk to people and try to make plans to do something, and no matter how hard i try or what i do to try and improve nothing is working. All i want is to enjoy life in high school and have fun, i hate always thinking how my days sucked, my birthday is in 2 days and i wont get one happy bday at school, or have someone make me a card or anything like friends do at school so like i dont know just too much is running through my head and im getting ideas again and i just want to know how i can improve more or what to do....
Yours Truly:
Friendless
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What your counselor may have missed is the simple fact that you are trying. In fact, you are probably trying to hard to make friends. On a subconcious level you reak of desperation. If you are really worth being friends with then why has no one else accepted you to a point where you are desperate to find acceptance? ...or so goes the thoughts of others anyway.
The best thing is to give up. What I mean to say, is give up on TRYING to make friends. Join 2 or 3 after school activities and every time you think about trying to be friendly to someone, just take a breath, step back for a second, and think about what you are really doing. Sure you want to make introductions to new people that you meet, but don't overdo it. Don't smother these potential friends with your presence. Also, compliment people, but not too strongly and not too frequently. Most of all, just keep showing up to these activities and keeping quiet if need be until these people get more used to your presence and accept you at least as a member of the group. From there you can invite them to hang out or they may even invite you themselves.
Never try to buy friends with stuff, be it candy or anything else. Just try not to seem so desperate, that's probably the biggest thing holding you back. You'll do fine once you get the hang of it. Remember, better to seem shy than be known as overbearing.
Happy birthday!
In fact, come to think of it. Definitely drop me a line, I am always looking for new friends!
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Do one of the activities the counsler sugegested. I think you will be surprised at how much it will help you. Go in with a good attitude and get your life on the right track. Good Luck! :)
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I'm not going to tell you what to do. That is up to you, but I will give you some advice; stay who you are. Don't change to impress people that will probably only be there till graduation day. After that, they're most likely gone. Friends accept you and love you for who you are. I don't think you need medication. Maybe you just haven't let anyone get that close to you to become a friend. I use to be like that. I would be shy and afraid to open up to people, but once I did, everything got a whole lot better. It was all mental for me. Maybe it is for you. You never know until you try. Talking to people can help with loneliness. But remember, stay true to yourself. Some friends can change who you are for better or for worse. Make sure it's for the better. :] Good Luck & Hope I Helped.
By The Way; Happy Early Birthday :]
See, You've Got A Happy Birthday :] No Worries.
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maybe you just suck at life?
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friendless-
i was looking through all the questionas and picking which ones to answer and i decided to answer you first. your question really caught my eye because i feel the same way at times. high schools just a drag. most of the girls are anal bitches and the guys are stuck up jocks looking for sex. dont put yourself down, look for the people like YOU to be friends with. dont try and be with a certain group of people. just remember your not the only one in your school that feels this way, there has to be ATLEAST one other person. look out for this person, thier feeling the same way as you. and please never resort to suicide. i know people who have done that and its the most horrible thing. your family loves you, you cant do that to them, you cant do that to yourself. if you have anymore questions please ask me. i like you...your question was actually very WORTH answering. i hope i helped <3 <3
--Genevieve
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