Gender: Female
Occupation: Student
Age: 16
Member Since: November 27, 2006
Answers: 37
Last Update: January 21, 2010
Visitors: 2415
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16/f
Basically every girl in my grade including my best friends have had sex they also have boyfriends. I am really independent and mature for my age and dont feel the need for a boyfriend whatsoever. However I do want one as of right now but I am really picky. I'm not going to date someone who I dont even like but I do realize that the perfect guy isnt going to fall into my lap. But anyway I do sort of feel like the odd one out since im a virgin compared to everyone else. My bestfriends always have their boyfriends and have sex. On one hand I am perfectly fine with waiting for the right one but on the other hand I do feel left out. I dont know...any advice or personal experience is greatly apprpeciated :) (link)
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Everything you stated here describes me.
My main group of friends have been having sex since our freshman year of high school and one before them. They've all been with their current boyfriends for almost 2 years and seem to be in these magical never ending relationships, while I've been in two crappy relationships. It's hard being the only one without a boyfriend and being the only virgin. There's a lot of pressure spoken and and unspoken.
But I've come to realize a couple of things.
One, doing anything because of peer pressure is a dangerous formula. You have to really separate what you REALLY want from what you feel like you should want or what other people want.
Two, it's a great thing to be independent. It's not a good thing to be too dependent on a man for happiness or anything else. Unfortunately, I think some of my friends would be lost without their boyfriends, which to me is sad for people so young.
Three, you meet a lot more people when you're single. My friends with boyfriends seems to only hang out with their boyfriends sometimes. You drive people away that way. It's really annoying trying to talk to a couple that never separates from each other and the conversation between the three of you turns into a conversation between just the two of them.
Four, (and i just have to add this one, sorry) sex is a risk, especially at so young. You're more likely to regret it and more likely to be hurt by your partner. I don't need to mention the other risks, I'm sure.
I'm sure there are plenty more things to note on this as well, but this is my blurb. Power to the independent teenage girl!
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Im soo confused, i have been going out with this boy for about 4 months now and i really really like him. But lately things have been kind of.. weird. He is best friends with my good friend as well, so they tend to tease each other and tickle each other. I know he loves me but i dont understand why she would prevoke it, or why he would? Also, for some reason i keep thinking about me good friends brother... even though me and my boyfriend are perfect for each other in every way... Help! (link)
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Ewh. I have a similar problem.
If you've been dating for four months, then talking to your boyfriend shouldn't be an issue. You should probably let him know how you feel about the way he acts towards your friend. Or might feel more comfortable talking to your friend about it instead. If he really likes you, then his behavior is probably nothing to be worried about. He might be flirtatious by nature, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't alert him. If he responds badly and doesn't understand when you talk to him, that could be a sign that he's not the right guy.
Unless you feel like you have really strong feelings for your friend's brother, you thinking about him is probably nothing. Just because you're in a relationship with one person, doesn't mean you won't feel attracted to or even like another person. You should just feel loyal to the person you are with.
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Hey,
So, I've been wanting to lose a little weight over the summer. I'm aaaalmost five foot, and I weigh about 98 pounds. I guess I'm not really fat, but for some reason, in my opinion I look kind of 'thicker'?
Like, I actually look like this:
http://tinypic.com/view.php?pic=4zmiyxv
http://tinypic.com/view.php?pic=6hhj53p
While, I'd rather look like this (size-wise):
http://tinypic.com/view.php?pic=4g83hoz
I would never want to look anorexicly thin, just thin. I need to be thin for cheering, actually. My bases complain too much weight, when I am 'pulling up'.
But anyway, I am going to have running for cheering three days a week, and I'm planning on doing a certain amount of curlups for every snack I eat. (like, yesterday it was 50 for each peice of chocolate). That should help me stay away from fatty foods, because seriously, at both my mom's and dad's house, all there are are fatty snacks, and they all get mad at me if I reccomend healthier, diet foods. They wont let me diet. So, Will this help at getting me thinner, or will I just look really muscular?
Anyways, straight-forward answers are good.
Thanks for any help, and I'll rate accordingly! (link)
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You are a great weight.
That is like the perfect weight to be at your height.
And if your bases complain about too much weight...
Well maybe they need some muscle or they need to buck up. I'm not really muscular or super toned or anything, but I am 100% positive I could lift you. And trust me, most of the people I know who cheer are over 98 pounds, and well, their bases can get them up. That really amazes me that yours can't.
Muscle. Since you're saying that to you, you look "thicker" gaining lean muscle and toning will make you look leaner. No, you will not bulk up and look really muscular. Women have to work extremely hard to do that, because it is really not how our bodies are meant to be. So don't worry about looking really muscular. Again, using the right weights for you, you can gain lean muscle that will make you look thinner, not bulky.
But as far as weight loss, you really don't need to worry about it.
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Be honest. Okay, so when I meet a guy that i've been talking to for a while, i like him, but then when i see what he looks like i start seeing things that starts making me not like him, and more and more driven away. I'm not to hip on this, but I think that it could really help me if someone gave me some really good advice. Becuase i have a date with him soon, and i'm afraid how thats gonna turn out if i already picked the stuff i don't like about him out. (link)
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People may tell you looks are not important.
I believe differently.
Looks are important. No, you should no treat someone badly because of the way they look, or treat someone better because of the way they look. But looks are important in romance.
Physical attraction helps along with emotional attachments and love.
Take you're friends. You love your friends for their personalities, not their looks. You don't love them the same way you do with your partner. You wouldn't have sex with your friends.
The thing that initially makes you romantically attracted to someone is physical appearance. I believe that physical attraction is one of the factors that separates romantic love from friendly and family love.
Relationships are different than families and friendships and one big difference is the physical stuff. You don't kiss your mother like you do your boyfriend or girlfriend.
You shouldn't love people any less because you find that you aren't physically attracted to them. If you find that you don't love them romantically, then you'll probably find that you still love them just as much as a friend.
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My friends ALL tell me I'm emo.
I don't dress any particular way, I wear random stuff, and nobody else I know would DARE dress like me.
I am really down a lot, and I have contemplated suicide more than once[and planned it].
I really hate people saying I'm emo, because I don't mean to. How can I stop??
Unfortunately, the other side of me is that I'm "really smart" but I'm also a complete ditz. I never get whats going on around me, because I'm so caught up in what I'm thinking.
Yet, I also have weird sensory crap going on. I am really really sensitive, and I can tell right away if something's wrong with those I'm close to, even if they're not there. I get feelings telling me to call them.
Someone HELP. I am so sick of feeling alone.
Suicide is on the table again, but I'm trying not to. PLEASE HELP! (link)
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Ok.
Well, did the suicidal thoughts start after people started calling you emo, or before?
Actually...
You're friends need to stop telling you you're emo.I think that by calling you that, they could be making things even worse.
"Emo" is a label, a label associated with depression and suicide.
I am down a lot, but suicidal thoughts for me started coming once I started getting labeled. I feel this is because I associate suicide with what people call me, and it makes me feel like suicide should be what I resort to for my problems. Whenever i pick up the knife to do it, I always back down, because I can't be sure if I'm doing it because I want to, or if I feel like I want to because of what people call me.
Suicide is not the answer. If you're thinking of doing it, try to find a reason or reasons why. If it's because you feel it's what you're supposed to do, don't do it. If you have no specific reasons why, don't do it. If you just feel like you want to do it, still don't do it.
Are you taking medication now? Maybe you should look into it.
This site really made me think about things. Maybe some messages on it will make sense to you.
http://suicide.com/index2.html
I see your intelligence and senses to be a gift, use them, don't destroy them.
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Okay im 16/f.
I am around 5'7'' and i think i am around 145lbs. My scale is not exactly an accurate one but I range around there.
So I thought I really want to get down to 135 lbs before the school starts again so I started jogging and whatnot. I got up to jogging for an hour however something happened to my ankle because i kind of stepped into a ditch and i guess i sprained it or whatever.
Its swalloen and whatnot.
So I am hoping it would get better soon so all I can do for right now is to do sit ups. I usually do 50-100 and I do around 300-700 per day. I dont do them all at once.
Also when my ankle gets better I am planning to jog for an hour at least 4 times a week.
So would that be enough workout for me to drop 10 pounds before the summer's over?
(link)
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Sit ups and cruches are only effective if you do them correctly.
This means contracting your abdominals, tilting the pelvis, and using the abdominals to bring yourself up. Also you should not lead your torso off the ground with your elbows. Lead with your shoulders.
These things more effectively isolate abdominals.
Good job with the jogging. That has so many benefits. That helps with weight loss, and toning your entire body, especially the legs. Cardio is also excellent for abs.
Keep up the good work and eat healthy. Ten pounds is a good goal for weight loss this summer =D
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How can you tell by a hint, if guy wants to kiss you or not? Anything??? Any clues specifically, if you are a guy you may defintely answer this one:) (link)
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Hmmmm.
If they get really close to you.
And if they tilt their head to the side when they look at you or they look down at your lips.
If they're your boyfriend they usually do those things, or they'll go for it =P
I don't know how a guy that isn't your boyfriend would show that they want to. They probably wouldn't want you to know anyway.
Ya...sorry, this isn't the greatest advice I've ever given, but =)
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Why is everything so complicated when you are 14 I mean there's really nothing that makes sense anymore! (link)
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Because you start to realize that there is actually a life ahead of you and with all of the questions that scientists have answered, there are so much bigger questions that no one has answers to.
Being 14 has made me wish that I could know what other people are thinking. Like, read minds.
Because now what other people think suddenly matters and you realize that other people have brains and have real thoughts and feelings just like you, only different. =O
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ive been on accutane for almost seven years now and i still get bad acne is there any other things...creams,pills,at home rememides..any advice?? (link)
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ProActiv.
I love it.
It not only makes you feel like it's working, but it does work.
My face feels so clean and clear and if you use it everyday twice a day, it'll stay that way.
I only break out when I neglect using it.
If you choose to use it, I hope it works for you =D
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I have 2 bikinis but I don't feel totally comfortable wearing them, and I would like to find a tankini. The problem is that I can't find one that fits me in both the body and the chest. I'm a 34D, so I'm a small to average framed girl with a large chest and I'm trying to be pretty modest, I don't like to show a lot up top. I think halter is best for support so that is the style I would prefer. I have tried Target, Kohl's, Old Navy, and I can't find anything. I know Victoria's Secret would be able to provide a suit that would fit better but it would probably be too sexy and I'm not looking for that. Can anyone recommend anything to me? (link)
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There are tons of other stores to go to.
I like Macy's and Nordstroms and usually find good suits there. Those are only two, but you could try those.
Some suits may look too sexy on the rack, but you should try them on anyway. You might like them. Changing rooms are private, you'll be the only one to see it if you don't like it.
You might be surprised that something you think is too sexy might actually look really nice and just right =D
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13/F. I'm an introvert, pretending to be social. I definitely have walls around myself, not allowing myself to make real human connections. I talk to people with my friends, but I feel blank, I can't just say what is on my mind, I have to say 'safe' things, almost to protect myself.
My goal this summer is to come back to school with self confidence and self-esteem. To always be myself. But, a lot of the books I've been finding just make ya sit at home all day reading the thing. I want to become more social, and I want to go out into the world and learn for myself how to get out there!
Are there any books anyone here is familiar with that have activities in them for confidence/self-esteem? I guess I've seen it called activity-oriented. Such as tasks to go out in the public and complete, to get out of my comfort zone.
Do you have any activity type things I could go do in the public to prove myself that I can be social? I would love help thinking of these... perhaps in order from easy to hard.
Thank you so much for any suggestions.
P.S. I have a two week summer course starting July 3rd and I'd like to really have the best time and make friends! (link)
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Summer time is a great time for things like this.
There are lots of concerts you can go to, there is always people at the park, malls are crowded with teenagers and so are amusement parks. Lots of people are at the gym to get into shape or to stay in shape.
Do something new everyday that you can.
Go to the park and start talking to that guy playing basketball. Ask him to teach you.
Go to a local concert, many of which are free, and ask someone if they no of any other local bands you could go and see.
Go to an amusement park and ask someone about the biggest, scariest, and best ride there.
Go to the gym and ask someone how long they had been coming to workout and if they would be coming more often that summer. Maybe you'll see them again.
Go to the mall and ask someone what they're eating and where they got it at the food court.
These are just little things. But anything can give you a good start.
Have fun this summer =D
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I play the drums and me n my friends have made a small band.So one of my friend was givena oppurtunity to be in the band but he said no. But now he wants to take my place of drumming cos he sed he lyks it so much n wants me to stop drumming cos he wants to drum.I dont no what to do?Can som1 help? (link)
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That's silly.
He is being selfish.
There is no reason for you to give up your drumming position so he can have it, especially since he was the one who initially turned it down.
Do not give it up.
If he wants to drum, he can go do do it on his own in his basement or whatever or go find another band. I'm sure he can find something.
Never feel pressured by a friend to do something like that.
Only give it up if you want to give it up, truly want to, not because your friend wants you to.
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ok, so i keep hearing this piano key sound...a high pitch and i know no one in my family is playing piano cause it's obviously really late, 3 in the morning...
i was just finished watching movie, and then i suddenly started to hear this e very few minutes, i'm getting scared to hell, what should i do?!?! (link)
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Turn on all the lights you can and look around your house.
Something could be making the noise, or you're just hearing things, but checking to see for yourself that it's nothing creepy will probably make you relax.
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okay . so , me & my current bf have been dating off & on , for around 3/4 months . anyways , about a month ago he broke up with me , then the next day i found out he was going out with my bestfriend in 5th grade(caitlyn) [that he knew because she went to his school now,] and he said he only went out with her because he missed me . which didn`t really make any sence at the time , so i took him back . then today i talked to the girl he wen`t out with [caitlyn] on the computer then she said "your bf didnt want me to tell you , but i will anyways . before he "broke up" with you , he was going out with me" then i said "so he was cheating on me?!" then she goes "yes , for a day , then he broke up with me because he really liked you" so i started crying , and then i called him to get the details and i told him the whole story what had happend . he said that caitlyn still liked him & that wasn`t true at all . he said that they had started talking about going out , but never accually did . and now i`m stuck in the middle & i don`t know who to belive . my friends pretty much hate him because i`ve gave him a lot of chances . and idk . i reallllyy love him , he was my first real boyfriend , my first kiss . and idk what to do , i`m just stuck in the middle . (link)
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Honestly, you can't believe either of them.
I bet you both of them have told you lies somewhere in this mess.
Either that, or there was huge-normous misunderstanding.
If you really want to try to settle it, you got to get them both to sit down and talk to you at the same time. So the three of you can talk. That way there is no "he said that you said and she said that you said" stuff.
But even that might not satisfy you. You just have to stay friends with both of them if you want, and forget about this mess. You'll probably never know.
I recently had something very similar to this with my first boyfriend, my first kiss, whom I really loved, and still do, and some other girl. We're broken up for good because of it, but I'm friends with both people, I just can't believe either sides of their stories and I'm forced to just move on. I still wonder the real story, but I'll just never know.
It's a stressful thing not to know. To feel in the dark. But it's even more stressful making a gigundo deal trying to find out and still getting nowhere.
Best thing to do is to take a deep breath, and do lots of happy things with your real friends and other people who you know really care about you to ease your mind.
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How many people think having a relationship with your best friend is a good thing or a bad thing?
If your friendship sparks and you know each other for 10 years or longer. Will it last or mess up your friendship?
I hear that sometimes when sex is involved it wouldn’t be the same. Is that true?
(link)
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If you really fall in love, than it can really bring you closer. This is a good thing.
But if things don't work out, it's what you make it.
The point in a relationship is to make things work out as best as you can. This means no lying, having trust, communication, and all that other good stuff. Relationships often end when one of the key elements are thrown away by either person. The lucky relationships are the ones that end in favor of friendship, not because of someone lying or failing to communicate.
When relationships end, it's not hard as some people make it out to be to stay friends. You were just in a relationship with someone and you really cared about them, you don't just stop caring about them in every which way, so there is no reason not to stay friends. You just have to want it. A relationship is a big bond. A friendship is another big bond.
Your friendship will be changed, but whether you make it a good change or a bad change is up to the two of you.
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All of the other girls I know are always just SO happy and smiling all the time no matter what, it's like nothing could ever upset them.
I, however, am always frowning and mad/depressed looking and I can't help it. I just never feel happy. I have never been truly happy and whenever I do smile it's fake unless I'm laughing at something.
And the happy little perky ones are the ones who attract the most boys. Isn't it true that men are attracted to happy women?
I want to know how to be all happy and perky and cheerful and pleasant all the time. I've tried thinking happy thoughts but it just doesn't work. I only think about things that make me pissed, because my life is filled with them, and things about myself that I hate (plenty of those too).
please just answer. (link)
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Believe me. They're upset. They're just not telling you.
From what you describe here, you know some people with something that I normally call "the gift."
They're always seeming happy and excited and this makes them confident to talk to anyone at any time, and when they're girls this means tons of guys.
They get depressed too. Either they have really good friends who cheer them up, or the people around them expect them to be cheery and lively and make sure that it happens. People like them for their liveliness and expect them to always be that way.
You can't make yourself happy all the time. This isn't the kind of "gift" you can go out and buy. It's just there if you got it. But you don't need it.
Just relax. Make yourself talk to people you wouldn't normally. It'll get easier. Don't be embarrassed to say hi to someone and then start talking about strawberry ice cream. You're trying to be nice, interesting, and funny, that's good. If someone thinks you're a freak for talking to them, than they need to grow up and realize that they talk and interact with new people every day, whether it be purchasing food at the grocery store, or checking out a library book. You have to make friends somehow, by talking to new people.
Most people, at least teenagers, feel like their lives are filled with shit, or hate things about themselves. It's easier to see bad things than good things sometimes. It's just something you have to fight.
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ok well i asked her about it like one of this people toldme to to do but she wants to wait and i dont want to wait! and i have begged and stuff but she wants to wait what should i do?
andi have so much presure like these guys that arae going all the way with there gf and i just want third base!
sign
a guy that needs help (link)
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Don't pressure her.
You should appreciate that your girlfriend is not a hussy or someone who gives in easily.
If you're just in the relationship in hopes of getting to "third base" then you're in the wrong relationship.
She's obviously not ready, even if you think you are. If you like her, then you should wait.
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I want to break up with my bf. I like him and stuff. but i just don't like him as anything more then friends anymore. Theres really no reason for this change..just b/c. But i ahve no idea how to bring it up, its bring be a lot of stress, and i just want to break up with him, but i'm scared of hurting him. and i have NO idea how to bring it up. HELP (link)
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There's no good way to break up with someone.
But a really bad way is through a note.
Or over the internet.
Make it as sincere as possible.
And do it soon. Don't put it off.
It's terrible to know that you've been with someone, thinking they really liked you, and then realizing that they had been wanting to break up with you for quite some time. My boyfriend did that to me. It hurt more than it had to. He made it even more difficult for us to be friends. And he lost my trust because our relationship had been a lie for weeks.
But anyway, enough about me..
Be the one to start the conversation. Just say it. Say you need to be honest about something and then...ya.
Don't have some nice conversation before you do it. 'Cause that would be like "Hey, I like your shirt. where'd you buy that? by the way...i want to break up..." And if that did happen, then I would hope it wouldn't be much like that example.
Breaking up his hard to do. But you just have to do it.
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Ok, a couple of days ago I'm IMing my friend and I tell her to hang on I had to use the restroom. Well, when I come back and start talking to her again, she asks what I was doing. I said, "just going to the bathroom." She said, "yea, i know but what were you doing?" I got mad because I knew what she meant by that. I got really mad when she asked, "Did you start your period?" She's always asking me, what're you doing this weekend? What did you do last night? Who do you like? And WAY too many personal questions not even my parents know. I told her to stop asking, but she said, "No, I have every right to know what's happening to you." I need advice on what do do. She won't leave me alone about personal stuff! And why would I tell her if she's going to tell everybody else. She always promises not to tell and goes ahead and says it anyway. HELP! (link)
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You don't have to answer.
And she does not have the right to know. There are no laws saying you must tell her all about your personal life and such.
Tell her it's nice that she cares so much, 'cause she obviously cares about your life a lot...
But you need your space. She shouldn't be so pushy or nosy. No one wants that.
And then going and telling people...that's not a good friend.
I'm sure there are good things about her, but maybe you should keep your distance.
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I really want to ask a guy out. I know a few guys, but the problem is... Nobody will be caught dead dating me. If a guy is dating me, he'll be taunted until he brakes up with me. I'm not a geek or anything. I wear glasses, but they actually make me look better than when I don't have glasses on. I don't act like a geek either. I act ok. a little weird, but ok. I've only dated three guys. 1, hurt me physically. 2, was really annoying and was checking other girls out. 3, dated me for three days and broke up with me because he never got to see me.(He goes to another skool across the state)I don't think I'm ugly, or stupid. I'm confident in stuff like that, but i don't know why guys won't date me. My one friend says it's because I don't like/wear make up and dresses/skirts and well... girly stuff. I don't like that stuff because I'm a tomboy, but i still like dating. I mean sure my first experience was bad, but still. I need advice on how to date and who to date. (link)
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Don't change. Or rather...don't make yourself change, unless it's really a change for the better.
Being a tomboy can have benefits. You can easily make lots of guy friends. Tomboys can relate to guys. That doesn't make them any closer to being a man then any other girl.
Having lots of guy friends means lots of guys who you are comfortable with, and lot of guys who could be potential boyfriends that you would be comfortable dating since you are already familiar with them. Friends are people you can trust. If you can trust these guy friends, you should be able to trust them if they become boyfriends. Trust can really make or break a relationship.
So maybe a lot of guys like feminine girls. Just because you're a tomboy doesn't mean you're not feminine. Most tomboys aren't like...manly. Being feminine has lots of parts to it. Not just fashion, make up, purses, gossip, or other stereotypical girly things. These things don't really separate girls from boys. I mean, these things weren't always in existence. Girls and boys are just naturally different.
=D
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